hope

you know,
i guess like everyone else.
there's something tad drives you on.
the something tad motivates you to push on in spite of everything.
the x factor that allows you to stand tall despite of everything.

i guess mine is hope.
hope that things can be the way i would love them to be.
hope tad i can make a difference.
hope tad i can matter.
hope tad for a better life,
hope for a better future.
hope for dreams to be achieved.

and i guess the reason why im so ffuckin depressed now.

is just that ive lost hope.



the smile.


the smile is one that covers a frown,
the fake expresssion when one is down,
the archin of corners of simple line,
makes everyone think that all is fine.

when the world blinks and turns away,
no one cares nor attention they will pay,
to the smile which then will quickly dim,
replaced by a straight line an emotionless scene.

who would care to see beyond the smile,
smile means you haf no reason to frown,
who would care to go beneath the surface,
when all you wanna accept is upon one's face.

when the reason for living suddenly fades away,
old dreams are shattered and pale in grey,
what's pushing you on this very day,
what makes you"aye" or makes you "nay"

do the similiar standards still apply,
or have they by virtue modified,
cuz while the reason for giving hasnt changed,
the drive behind the giving suddenly cant be regained.

the genuinely happy curving lips,
the eyes tad twinkle as the laugh lines dip,
its been a long time since they've seen the light,
much as the owner think he's losing the fight.

sometimes you wonder if its all meaningless.
cuz the reason for pushing is still in nothingness.




sigh okay slipping into depressions mode.
fuck this.
basketball work and school.
bball work and school.

focus.