lost.=)

i just read the funniest thing in a book bout humour.

"my relationship with this girl was fast and furious"
"i was fast and she was furious"

ROFL its dam funny pls.
okie.
fine.
maybe its juz me.-_-

its been a crazy week o ups and downs man.
last sat was awesome.
nothing else has come close to achieving the same effect in a dam long time.

the effect being smiling like a dickhead and smilin stupidly wen i sms.

but yes pls.
i be slightly more cheery again.
it always is better to wake up to be able to look forward to sumthin besides the "okie work.den run 6 k..tryta run faster..den okie wow..den erm.okie.go back to sleep" routine.
been pretty sweet pls.sleepin wit a smile and awaking SLIGHTLY LESS grumpy.okie maybe not less grumpy.but at least the grumpiness doesnt last as long.maybe till the 1st msg comes in.kekeke.

so this week was the semi's for SAFSA 11-A-Side hockey which yours truly was representing RSAF.
the 1st round was played against the eventual champions,Guards, (DARYL I HATE YOU:@)
which we were leading in the 1st half...but in the 2nd half,we got 2 players sent off, and in the time that remained,they plonked 3 past us.:((((((
so we were left with 3rd and 4th place to fight for.:(
we ending up going a mindef side wit a coupla runners(yea yea my bane.-_-)
and i was asked to play mid.(lagi sian.-_-.moar runnin ftl.)
so yea.
ran my balls off,got my goal in the 1st half (btw top scorer fer airforce,5 in 7 appearences);)
and in the 2nd half,they equalised from sum fluke referee call.
and we went to strokes,the hockey version of penalties.=P

aft 3 conversions by our side,
their national team palyer steps up...and swings the ball off target.

air force = 3rd in the inter-formation competition,the 1st time a top 4 has been reached since 1983.:)
tad was before i was born.:P
as our captain kept reminding us,we made history.=)

im pretty satisfied.
2 x hockey tourneys in my NS life,both i walk away with a trophy,losing only to teams with more den a few national/safsa players.
reads as an accomplishment in my book any way i read it.=)
so yup.
i'll get a pic of the trophy to let you guys see it once i get my lazy ass arnd to doin it.
but im really really v satisfied with the results.=)

tis week's been full o ups and downs.
work has been a bitch.
i hadta experience the full screwed upness of SAF once again,
where suddenly the medic which was all along done by the conductin side was suddenly supposed to be indented by me,and i was scrambling all over the place from camp to camp tryin the beg and borrow a medic for 3 hours.:@ cuz my own camp is undermanned medic wise.
wth man.
the answers that you get really not 1 x piss you off.:@
"good afternoon chongpang medical center"
"hey,3sg ben here,need a favour from you guys,i know its last minute and all.....etcetcetc..."
"erm...i think cannot.we got no medics available.they will be out"
"out?out on wad"
"im not sure..but they'll be out"

12^$%&^^%*%$^&%$&*#^#

"good aft PLC medical center"
"copy n paste"
"im sorry,there is a directive that prevents us from supportin other units."
".............."
*at this point in time,i wanted to swear over the dam phone "EH YOU TRYIN TO BE FUNNY ISIT.THIS IS SAF LEH.AIR FORCE ALSO SAF.YOU FIND ME THE $%$^IN DIRECTIVE NOW.BLOODY CPL TRYIN TO BE FUNNY ISIT."

this was aft like 4 other air force camps told me they cant support and i was already at wits end,+ i was rushin down to my hockey game, + i was doin sumthin else,i had more then enuf of a shitload on my mind and they gimme this kinda last minute shit.

really not 1 x angst.

thinkin back on it now still makes my bloody boil.
rofl.

oh wellz.

and i realised sumthin.

people,despite the best intentions,
will do things for a reason.

if you work hard,you'll want to be noticed and respected for your work.
if you're nice to a person, no matter how pure your intentions are, you'll want that person to be nice back to you.
you know?
the basis of acknowledgement.
the word isnt the best but for want of a more suitable word,
imma need more sleep before i get you one.

but niwae.
i was juz thinkin.
my fren asked me this over teh-oh-peng and chicken cutlet + fries this afternoon.
"eh siao eh.why you bother so much"
*i was angsting over my work cuz of the medic thing and the recall shit tad i was singly handling.
and i realised the answer was really simple.
im workin hard for :
1)self satisfaction:i know im good at what i do.now its time for you to see it too and respect me for that shit.
2)ORD in peace: now this mite not sound like much, but i am prayin for 8 weeks of clearence pls.
ive hard the hope of 3 months drop all the way to 9 weeks till now its 6 weeks,its HALF of its original figure.
im juz hopin my understudies come asap man.
my life is traumatic nuf as it is alr.

being in NS has minused at elast 5 years off my lifespan, and definitely sent my brain back to the stone age again.
i half expect to wake up one morning and go "OOGAAH BOOGAH.ME TARZEN.YOU...YOU..YOU NOT JANE.JANE GOT PAPAYAS"
*cheap poke at total male environment but yea.
you get the idea pls.
i wake up every morning grumpier.
lol.

my mshs frens should know wad i mean.
in jc it lessened quite abit,
but zomg.im reachin a whole new level in grumpiness.
=)

WHEE.quite proud of myself pls.
as i constantly extol,
GRUMPY BEAR > ALL.

so yea.
dun call me in the morning pls.
3 words to prepare you for wad you'll get....

NASTY, NASTY, NASTY.

okie nwiae.
sidetracked like hell again.
i juz wanted to say that its kinda a really sad thing.

you do sumthin for sumthin you desire,but if you didnt desire that thing in the 1st place,would you have even put in so much effort in the 1st place?and even if you did,please dun tell me you absolutely do not hope for sumthin pls.
tads a lie tad even mother theresa will go to hell for la.

she was was geng cuz she wanted her love to be followed.
there's a hope rite there.
even osama had his hopes pls.
he wanted more less educated muslims to follow the originals into doin more stupid things while he hid and got rich on oil money pls.

everyone has their own goddamn hopes despites how noble your intentions may be la.
so yea.suck thumb if in the end,you put in your heart and soul into sumthin and you dun get appreciated for it,maybe you should've asked rite from the start if tad would've been wad you'll stand a chance to get.
but you didnt.why?cuz you were tryin to build character and more importantly,you told yourself it didnt matter.
then when you dun get it,den you QQ,den you realise it did matter and more importantly,you juz got pwned by the end product of hope which is a 4 syllable word of UTTER PWNAGE.

its called,

DISAPPOINTMENT.

So climb off your high horse alr.
sick of having to deal with all you people with your own agenda man.
you pple are the reason why i work so hard every single dam day,just to hear the letters ORD.

in other areas.
i guess im pretty much as fine as can be.
juz slightly disillusioned regarding sumthin,
more then slightly confused,
and quite abit angry at myself for mistakes done in the past.

i remember this phase in the Bible.

"Lord gives us the wisdom to accept the things we cannot change"

and that was all i had for sole comfort.
witout those words,it would've been a shitty night beyond belief.

its incredible how the things you think dun matter would pop up coupla months down the road and pwn you tombaleh.

looked to innoculous rite the start,all "its nothin la"
and den "BLAM"

"Past action crits you for 12091724986124781297213 dmg"
"You suck thumb and die."

yea.
im more den a lil confused i guess.
i really dunno what to think alr.
heh.

oh wellz.
thats wad makes it so interestin i gguess.
no 2 people are the same in the way they deal with things.
its a whole new world to figure out.

just imagine,
6 billion pple out there,chances are in your lifetime,you'll meet about 50000 faces.
you'll hafta figure how this 50000 tick.

sounds daunting eh?
dun worry,you're prob thru 9000 already.;P

okie.
im gonan go crash.
stupid ass recall tml.
:@:@:@:@:@:@@:@

WTB EARLIER ORD DAMMIT.:@

/angst

emotions and realisations.

heh.
words.
its amazing how juz the simplest of them can turn so much arnoud so quickly.

heh.
and as a ode to my previous post.:P
they be the powers of manipulation.
on sun i had a chat wit my church leadership regardin my return to playin guit for service.
and i said sumthin tad was refuted almost instantly.

the line was,

"you wouldnt know wad im feelin unless i desire to let you know so"

and they said this

"you mite not wan to let us know.but we can tell"

now not to undermine wad they said mind you,
but honestly,
ive spent all my life hiding my emotions and dealin with em myself.
you would think i would know wad im talkin about rite?
-_-

like honestly.
the only pple i totally am at ease with showin exactly how i feel are my bros.
like yea.
possibly the only 2 females on earth tad i mite show em too are my mum and sista and tads cuz i trust em + i'm prob needin their advice.

stems from this reasoning.

if i tell you, so wad?would you be able to gif me exactly wad im lookin for?would you know wad to say.
if i tell you,i add to your mental burden.wad for.as the cck trolls line goes." SEEEEEAAAAAAOOOOOW"

to me,
alot of the emotions you feel can be resolved amongst yourself.
at times,these emotions are honestly childish even in your eyes.
den why entertain em by giving them a voice.
juz beat it down,be unhappy till your logic kicks in again,and you'll be perfectly fine.
1 x conflict/ potential unhappy incident avoided rite?

i had one of the abovementioned today and likewise i did the same.
i juz shut the hell up.
and yea as i said,you wouldn't have known unless i choose to tell you.
so pfft pls.
n even wen i tell you,ever heard of half truths?=)
i may sound like im dam full of myself pls but please dun get me wrong.
unless i really wanna tell you,you really wouldnt know.
i mean like.
geez man.
its been a part of my life all along.-_-
you would think i know better den to come and question me with regards to that right.

niwae.
i conceded that point,
and hopefully within a year or 2,i'll be back on stage playin again.=D

but seriously,
i wanted to do sumthin i always do in camp to them.
no offense meant,but

person in question"then how?"

me : /lifts up my hands and raises ONE of the 5.
"suck this"

for all you pre ns/females you're prob thinkin its the vulgar finger.
wrong pls.its the thumb.

why?
cuz all is not good,
so you wanna put a thumbs down,
then you realised the shit has hit the fan and you're gonna get screwed aniway,
you revert to your baby days and stick a finger into your mouth and suck,
and since you were in the motion of puttin a thumbs down,
the thumb was alr sticking up,so you sucked it pls.

the ultimate gesture of helplessness.

tads how i feel it is pls.
1 x impassiveness pwns anyone tomaleh.
its called a poker face for a reason.
if not,the expression wouldnt have come about in the 1st place eh??

hmm.
2nd thing i wanted to mention was sumthin i was thinkin about on my bus ride back from my traumatic tuition session juz now.shall talk about it later.

but its this.
you know,
i would like to believe that having spent 21 years upon this plane of reality,
i would be able to handle myself in most situations.

like meetin established pple "Good evening Sir.", or frens "eh siao eh",pple i dun like /avoid eye contact and walk the other way, you get the idea?
like i just know how to deal the situation tad i mite find myself in you know?

but i realised that there is one situation that im definitely still a nub at.

for all the those idiots waitin with bated breath to laugh at me for being a nub,

/shit on you pls.

niwae, the situation is the one of the heart.
i realised tad despite being the hard nosed, stingy bas*^&%/3SG, mean,grumpy,angsty emo potato, etc etc etc etc etc etc...

i get pwned once it comes to girls pls.
i shall blame this on my all boys school education.
6 years of SAPS and 4 years of MSHS = 10 years no girls.
of which in this 10 years, 4 of which was the point in time you realise girls exist for a reason and you experiment and learn howta communicate to them.

now not that im having problem communicatin mind you,my mummy think im too glib tongued,
but i realise, tad i get dam emo with regards to certain females pls.-_-
and it pisses the sheeeeeet outta me.-_-
hello.where's mr Ice pls.-_-

annoyin annoyin annoyin.
shall stive to be a lil more impassive.
its like a crack in this UBER GENG armor that protects me from the world and its atrocities.
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@

in the words of IRONMAN.

I MUST IMPROVE MY ARMOUR.IT MUST BE STRONGER THAN BEFORE TO DEAL WITH THIS NEW THREAT.

kekek marvel comiks ftw.:D

okie lastly before i head to bed.

my harrowing tuition lesson.

this is excepts mind you from my lessons.
imagine fierce grumpy me.(not tad requires much imagination it being my usual self, but yea.)
now just to put things into perspective,
this kid has his final year exams TOMORROW.
i thought i was gonna be just helpin do a lil brush up + teach him answerin techniques


me " What is a destructive plate boundary?
him " a volcano"

/jaws agape.
later in the lesson.

me " Whats the difference in the leaves of a tree in a tropical rainforest and that of a monsoon rainforest"
him "the leaves are thinner."

/jaws agape x 2.

me "whats the diff btw the roots of a tree in a tropical rainforest and monsoon"
him"the roots are bigger.buttress roots"
me /stunned "which is buttress roots"
him"mangrove"

/jaws agape x 3.

this one take the effin cake.

me " your longshore current travels along the coast rite?"
him"yea"
me"YOU SURE??????" *giving him the "you have gotta be shittin me look"
him"errrrrr.."
me "you better think carefully,if not im gonna call your mummy down"
him " eerrrrr..."
me i went to draw out a coastline for him, gave him normal waves and longshore to draw directions.
you guess which direction he draw?

--------->
--------->
coast --------->
--------->
--------->

at this point in time,i slapped my forehead and panicked.-_-

i asked him "eh,you christian,buddhist,islam any kind of religion??"
he " yea.buddhist"
me"okie,now,you go revise,later burn the textbook and drink.but whatever you do,PLEASE REMEMBER TO PRAY TONITE K THANKS."
and juz in case you pple think im being mean,
he juz looked at me and giggled.

/roll over and die.-_-

hired 3 weeks before exams,wad you expect from me pls.
im not God.
im juz a grumpy tuition teacher.-_-

to you.

just when i tot everythin was heading down,
you came and turned it all around.

wad lies ahead only time will tell,
but rite now im feelin like i'll walk hand in hand wit you into the gates of hell.

toget,hand in hand aight?
lets keep discovering each other toget,every night.=P

imma foo i know.
kekekeke.
wad to do pls.
hopeless romantic ftl.=P

manipulation

in life.
have you reflected upon how your actions mite actually affect another's decision makin process?
not the come right out and "im unhappy if you choose to do this,but its your decision"
but more like the "yea man.i'll be happy if you do it and wish you all the success man...but..aiyah nvm.:) good luck"

you get wad i mean.
its the kinda subtle mind games that you paly to try to make things go your way.
be in in courtship(i believe they call it seduction/shrug)relationships(emotional games)
whatever you call em.its still highly a manipulative game.
and i realise that i myself do it. a scaringly lot.
if we're 1 meter apart, and i want you to walk to me,i dun mind makin a 250 km deviation and waitin that long till when you finally make the step to me,you're truly convinced that it was your intention in the 1st place.
scary sial.

but yea.
sumtimes i wonder if this quality is a good thing or a bad thing to be honest.
more often then not,i get exactly what i want.
it may in a form where both parties are happy,either are happy or none at all,but i get it in the end.at whatever cost.
hence my conclusion that im really dam spoilt in certain areas of life.
point of this is nothing.
juz empty reflections.

humans are really dangerous.-_-

okie scrub this post.
pointless.
juz had this brainwave and im bored during lunch hour so bite me.
but interesting food for thought eh.





you make me smile for the weirdest reasons,
mite you be the one to make me smile thru all if life's seasons?

50 cents.

i had a dream,
a dream of you,
it was tad kinda dream,
juz meant for two.

in the sun were you and me,
happy as can be,ironically.
despite the strains of past follies,
yet still was the time spent peacefully.

i poked fun at you and you smiled at me,
such a change from sumthin tad 'was' to 'be'
would such changes take place naturally,
tads sumthin that only time will see.

its dreams like that tad make you ponder,
dreams like that tad have no other,
this dreams make you think and wonder,
attainable things lie juz yonder?

am i a foo to think again,
have a too soon forgotten the pain,
would you gaze upon me with disdain,
or in righteous emotion will i find no shame.

i know the game n played it before,
am in no rush to enter it once more,
but the chance remains you might be wad im lookin for,
should i try again or juz ignore emotion's call?

words like heart and love make no sense,
pple use and not understand,
the depth of its meanin and its power,
if they knew,would they cower?

i myself wunt claim to know,
but of myself i'll keep in control,
i'll hold you close,i'll treat you right,
just dun play games,i dun wanna hafta fight.

love should be simple,love should be kind,
love should be a matter of the heart and mind,
love is felt and love is given,
love is definitely is a a kinda mutual heaven.

one sided love is hell,
2 sided love makes you melt,
3 sided love means you're screwed,
4 sided love means you're on tv.

okie since my beloved 3SG HOO YUAN SHYUAN WANTS TO USE THE COMPUTER.
i SHALL STOP NOW.
TA.

1 week of stuck ness.

hiaz.
i have a bright and happy week of no nights out in camp cuz we got ops.
zzz.
1 x annoyed pls.
ever since ive been giving tuition ive been stuck busy runnin up and down.:(
i havent had a chance to sit down and properly WoW the whole time.
not so much so that i really wanna play,but its always good to have a lil of the routine to get you comfortable and snug i guess.
not much zest in me to play now.:)

WTS WOW ACC ANYONE WANNA BUY.

niwaez.
weeks been pretty decent i guess.
couple things that im unhappy about and the most anooyin one is the fact tad im now called "bear" in camp as well.
i mean its bad enuf that girls think im like a huge grumpy bear,but now in camp, im also called a bear by my CO.
i mean.
look at me pple.
wad part of me resembles a bear pls.
-_-

even my maris pple think im a bear,but tads cuz im dam grumpy last time.
highly annoyin pls.
:@

niwae.
/<3 tuition.
work work ftw pls.
teachin kids is really dam fun.
the responsibility is a lil daunting,but it really makes you work for it.:) i like.
niwae.
going back to camp.
constantine ftw.




i know i shouldnt even be thinkin about it,but i still am.shit.

every week.
in camp.
there will be a time,
where i listen to my ipod
and outta sudden,
a song hits me and i feel emo.
this songs are <3ed pls.
so yea.
this is the one that made it this week.

dusk and summer by dashboard confessional
She smiled in a big way, the way a girl like that smiles
When the world is hers and she held your eyes
Out in the breezeway down by the shore in the lazy summer
And she pulled you in, and she bit your lip, and she made you hers
She looked deep into you as you lay together quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer

But you've already lost
Wen you only had barely enough to hang on

And she combed your hair, and she kissed your teeth
And she made you better than you'd been before
She told you bad things you wished you could change in the lazy summer
And she told you, laughing down to her core, so she would not cry as she lay in your lap
She said "nobody here can live forever, quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer"

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough to hang on

She said, "no one is alone the way you are alone"
And you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known
Some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure
Days like that should last and last and last

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough of her to hang on

to be honest.
the words that caught me was the chorus itself.

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough to hang on

all along,i always wonder how cynical can a relationship get always bases itself in how much you're willing to give.
and this song basically sums it up.
the guy is mortally(yes im using it in the correct context L2LIT) in "love" with this girl.and he finds himself bein swept up in this whole euphoric high and then you hear it from the girl's lips a whole differenct concept of how she looks at it.and when it comes down to the crunch of it,ot didnt last and then the whole summary is in those 2 lines of the chorus.

simple but lines with amazing depth.
you're already lost-

lost?
what have you lost to:
yourselves for allowin yourself to be swept away?
to her for lettin her get the better of you?
to love for givin you the false hopes once again and lettin you crash?

when you have barely enuf to hang on.

now this line is juz prophetic in the sense that i'll be usin it myself as a gauge.
wad kinda relationship do you enjoy atm.
the one where you're givin so much to a person that you barely hang on to who you are?
the one that you are so caught up in the doin you're barely handing on to wad is the remnants of your own life before the relationship?
the one that is driving you totally insane you're barely hangin on to your sanity?

and then you realise that this "her" might not actually be a female/male partner in yourlife,
but pretty much everythin that YOU choose to admit into your life and embrace.

and here im gonna be dam cynical and end by saying this.
when the clock ticks on your life' midnight,and you look back.would all this shit matter?

and as usual since my life is a whole example of contradictions i shall conclude with opimism via

but if you are at the closing hours of your life,and you lookin back. and you think to yourself,without all this shit that you choose to go thru last time,would you be half the person you are today?

BUUUUUUT.this is assumin you like the person you see in the photo that they gonna put on your coffin. (im assuming your relatives will NOT entertain your request to look in the mirror cuz they prob think you're going starkin raving mad)

if you dun like the photo,means you died not at peace with yourself and its juz too dam sad you should've done more to live with less regrets now you dying and its too late.

family sunday/mummy and daddy bdae cele

hahaha.1st time im seeing my "wth" face.quite nice pls.












my lil bro starti his drinkin career at the kiddy's bar with......milkshakes.rofl.












and my mummy wonderin if her kids are really above 20.:P












karate ernest vs .........................the dino dustbin!!!













the cutest guy in te world,albiet the naughtiest as well.:P
ya'll go decide whom im talkin about.
HAHAHAHAAH













sibling love.











papa and mama love

owwwwwwwww.:( /wince.

extracted my tooh on monday.
how big was tad thing?
look at your last finger and imagine the whole of the tip tad portion.
yea.
tad was how big it was.
if you got small hands
imagine mine,
its bigger den my last finger's last *digit*(i tink tads wad its called)
niwae.
wen i finally looked at it.
my 1st reaction was stupidly directed at the doctor"that's mine?its dam big la"den he looked at me with the same expression"yea its quite huge actually."

sheeeett.
and now?
ive discovered a whole new world of pain.
like cuz it was "not crowned" which meant tad it basically hadnt seen the light of day,
it was DAAAMMMMM deep inside.
so wen he drilled,
my frickin jaw was vibrating in unison.
-_-
and i tell you,
wen i saw the shiny scapel in fronta my eyes,
i nearly fainted.

<---- definitely not a doctor sorta person.
hahaaha.
i kenot understand why im scared of this kinda shit but i shudder like hell wen too much is exposed.
i mean like flesh wound and shit is oaky,
but nce i see the white of bone.
i will shudder and shake and autoturn away

crapz.-_-
1 x weeeeaaaak sheeit.
hahaha
oh wells.
everyone's made for a diff purpose.:P

wheee.
and niwae.
lets get back to my pain.
well.
i was doin fine yest,
till i got back,
and then i wowed...and the anaesthetic(spellin i cbf to check dictionary.com) wore off.
and then...
i died pls.
-_-
like seriously i was blanked out from the pain and feverish and basically i felt like shit.
immediately popped the painkillers given to me AND panadol for good measure.,
and i juz lay down and prayed to God and told Him "it isnt my time yet im still dam young,i havent had sex wit my wife,i havent fainted at childbirth,i havent graduated, etc etc etc"
basically i ran thru the whole list of things i havent done.
which is quite a shitload.
i kept runnin thru it till the painkillers kicked in and i could at least type coherently.
1 x seh pls.

and at night..
when the painkillers wore off again.
i kinda crashlanded in the torture chambers of hell pls.
and then began contemplating if the 1 week mc was worth this.
-_-
but then again,
if i didnt extract,i cant do the final stage of my root canal treatment.
sheiiiiety.:(

1 x btw rock and hard place.
so now,
i talks wis a lispss tad nos ones cans barelys makes outs and i ams 1 xs irritated.:@

how annoying pls.
my jaw is like swollen beyond recognition,
have no clue how im gonna play the game on thurs and not die from the thuds i'll DEFINITELY take.
hiaz.
mite hafta sit it out aft all.
gee man.
-_-

niwae.
photos from the last outing before timmy boy went back.:(















your mama told my mama tad your mama said to you to say to me not to play on the escalators but it got lost in translation.















just way WAY WAY too much gay elation in this picture i had to put it up.rofl.















had to get my lil bit of gay action in too you see.dudleys like the ultimate gay magnet.;p















whoohoo.cramped.-_- all photowhores.















my brother from another mother.black mother to be precise.















well.another bro.this one from a white mother.much love pls.















the maris english love.:P















with the chinese love...which im not inside cuz my chinese sucks.:P

okay i was the one takin the photo so buzz off,stop nodding and laffin to yourself.
/growl.















and its ALL bout groupie love.
and josh hittin on the waitress who took this photo for us.
LOL.

hahaha everytime i see this photo i tink of how josh was supposedly hittin on her and how we kept suanin him and he kept denyin it.
zomg.i miss sec sch days.lol.

reliving old days.

this week has been sumthin akin to homecomin foir me.
its been juz pure sports sports and more sports.
sun soccer with r-age,tues hockey for RSAF,wed soccer for 3DA WOSAs,fri hockey once again.
and i really enjoyed the whole roller coaster ride of it all please.
sunday was more of a warm up den anithin else but it gave me rashes all over as sensitive skin + open field with no long sock and no shirt + rollin like a tarb of larb wen you get tackled is definitely not a good thing.

tues was a sweet match.
despite it bein so dam long since i played hockey,
we still won it comfortably,5-1 of which 3 of which was scored by yours truly.
very very fun.:D

then wed was the WOSA vs Officer soccer match.
now to be totally frank,i wasnt much of a major factor thru the match,the officers were dominatin due to their better stamina.
we had the run of the 1st half,but 2nd half was just horrific.
but sumhow we held em to 2-2.

then came the penalties.
now im not much of short distance kicker i like to do my beckham shots which means i find space,and shoot from outside the box and place it nicely.if my balls dun get airtime,the skin will cease to be a factor and it becomes 1 x miss.
and sumhow i got chosen to take the last kick.
so it went 1-0
1-1
1-1(our guy missed)
1-2(they converted)
and at this point in time i was like "HOUSEH LA NO STRESS LIAO" and i was joined by the other waitin penalty takers.
2-2
2-3
3-3
3-4
4-4,
4-4(THE GOALIE SAVED)-_-
den i was like wah lan eh mai lai pls.

i look to the right,den i see all the WOSA laughin at me "EH YOU MISS RITE,i recommend you 7 extra,you score, i buy you breakfast whole week"

i lok to the left,my CO"you score,i gif you 21"

-_-

1 x suck thumb situation + the stress pls.
geee.
den i went up,den i took a conservative shot,low,hard and to the left.
keeper stretches,and fingers tap the ball.
my heart stops.-_-
den he cant hold it due to the power of it,and it rolls.........

off the left post and into the net.-_-

wah i tell you.
balls shrink for tad split second pls.
like seriously "WHOAAAAAAA"
den wen it rolled over the line,you look at the goalkie's face was like "sheeeeiiiiityeeee"
and the officers groan and the wosas run to me like im sum sorta hero in a EPL game like tad.
rofl.
dam funny.

kekeke free breakfast for the next few weeks.
HAHAHAHA.

alas the high didnt last long,
yest was a terrible match against 9 div.
we only had 9 players to their 11 and it was terrible.
we held em the 1st half,but the 2nd half was sheeeeeeiiiiiiiiite.
all their players were jc and poly players,
and all we had going was teamwork.
and when the enciks started quarreling amongst themselves,
it was pure crap from then on.
i got so disgusted i went to make frens with their defender.
he played last man for acjc so yup.:)

juz brought back nostalgic memories from pj days where everytime aft a won match,the team would be heroes for a while,you walk arnd sch,pple will congratulate you,and as a scorer it was more den quite fun for me pls.:P

niwae.
be postin pics of tim's sending off once i get em.:)
am v bored and sleepy.shall go take a nap.

pondering.

have you ever wondered,
what the song "ghost of you and me" is really about.
its kinda like a hazy sheen dat you cant really see the end off but yet you keep searching,and at the end of it all,you would rather pass it by then actually view it.

i guess im living with my own ghosts.


wtb ghostbusters please.


~i would rather not look,den to be reminded of you

frankie j's how do i deal has this lil part i find fitting.

in tune with the whole ghost part.

"How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it"

cancel away the love and replace it with sumthin less severe and it might make sense,
but al;l in all,its a really really sweet song.

niwaez.

JOSH DUDLEY TIM MONG TEEEEEE TML WE GOIN TO PARTEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

settin down the pieces,and moving on.

last nite,
i was supposed to meet fysh and go COMEX.
but i heard from a birdie tad called me just as i was about to leave the house, that a certain white asses aussie/singaporean foo was back in town.
and he "demanded" my presence.
so being the good loyal fren tad i am, i squared things with fysh and headed down.

and i realised sumthin.
im really really blessed with awesome brothers.

in jc,i have fysh/alv,
in maris,josh,dudders,tim,

and whole loada buddies.
all male.
and i thank God for every single one of them.

you guys are truly a blessing.
despite all the shit tad can pass in btw,sumhow we still stick toget.

we were discussing yest,just how God MUST have had a hand in our lives.
how 4 years ago,when we left each others lives,we would've just as readily dismissed our brotherhood as sumthin gone with the wind,each of us headed our own seperate ways,different JCs,Polys,
but yet,here we still are,sittin opposite each other,
still the same brothers as before within,a lil diff on the outside,
a lil more mellowed,a lil sombre,the drinks have changed from coke and sprite to chivas and beer,
but still,at the end of it all,brothers in heart.

and we were all commenting how it felt so good.
and sumhow the topic changed to this and i juz found it heart-achinly true.

once we step into church,its like we wear a mask.
everyone hides their flaws,looks as pristine as possible,and as a result,you cant open up without fear of being "judged" and all.
but yet,within this circle,we feel so comfortable nuf to open up.
we dun care about face here,
ugly truths,darkest secrets,
all come to light.
and it feels so dam good, to be in the company of people who know everythin and yet love you still all the same.
no "omg seriouslyy,shit you la.why.."startin the whole guilt trip nonsense,
it'll juz be "hmm.okay." waits to hear more,if none is forthcoming,doesnt matter.
still love you all the same.
therein lies true brotherhood please.

how many people do you know off.
tad you can tell everythin.i really mean EVERYTHIN.
if there's a need to you'll even confide your "di%@" size kinda people and without fear of recriminations.
i have my bros.:D
and thank God for you guys.:)
witout you,witout being able to truly express myself and bottle it all up inside,this lil emo kid would really lose it.:D

/hug

on another side of the coin.i'll FOREVER remember last night.rofl.
stories tad i will tell my grandkids.
"boy ah..you see tad ang moh kia there...i tell you story ah...when he was 20 like tad right...........and he was drunk..to the point where "he broke a seal"....etc.etc..."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
FOREVER AND FOREVER AMEN SEARED IN MY MIND
KEKEKEKE


part 2 of my entry.:)
today is a happy day.:)
why?
well.firstly,sumthin finally came in the mail.:)













TADA!!!!DO I LOOK HAPPY PLEASE.:)















and finally aft years and years of wanting my own gaming mouse,
Comex has provided me with one.:)































ohmnigawd isnt it gorgeous pls.
yes its green cuz green's my fav color,and its more unqiue den the advertisment blue which every tom,dick harry ah beng would must probably get.so there.:D


and lastly.part 3 of my entry's basically a lil insight into the lil "emo potato" kid that i am.its responsible for the title btw.

today i finally got back sumthin tad in a fury fit,i "threw" back cuz i didnt wanna be reminded of shit animore.
now despite havin resolutely decided to leave it all behind,
quite a lot of pple couldnt figure wth i wanted em back.
and this should explain it all.:D

within my room,hidden in the highest cupboard lies a lil green box.
it isnt used much.
rarely opened to be frank.
maybe only when im feelin mel or sumthin along those lines.

and wad lies inside,are wad i term "physical memories"
little things from my very 1st relationship and other lil nitpicks.notes from pple when im feelin down,postcards of concern.
but 99% of it,are my relationship "markers"
from letters from the time of when the love 1st blossomed,to the point it goes sour.
ive cried before just from readin these letters again.
everytime i read sarah's letters i always feel dam shitty inside.
sigh.

but niwae.not the point.shall not get mel.
so yup.
why did i bring up this box.
cuz basically its time to stop carryin around stuff.
her letters,our rings,our pictures.
i'll miss the familiar jangling sound of the rings my keypouch,i'll miss the reassuring bulk tad was her letters and her photos in my wallet.
but i guess its truly time.

so here's 4 pics from one of the more privvy nooks in my room.
this here's the box,
















this here's the stuff from sarah.(/teary eyed pls.)
seriously lotsa regret there.
sometimes just too much.
















you prob dun read this animore,but if you do,im sorry.and i'll ALWAYS be.
anytime please.if you should ever want to.anytime.

the new entry,
















teddy from before,















and teddy with his new bling,never to shine again cuz it wunt see the light.
















its seems only fittin that he was the start,and he would keep the rings i guess.

oh wells.
shall not dwell too long in this shit.emo ftl.
shall go wow now.hope you enjoyed the lil insight.
kekek.