Tuesday, December 02, 2008


i r moving.

site currently under construction.


Sunday, November 30, 2008


i just finished reading 2 books in a rare slow sunday for me.

lyin on my bed aching from the 3 hours of bball together with itunes on shuffle,
its been pretty sweet.

speaking of which, iphone.=D
shall be mine at the end of this xmas or by new yr.
having used the iphone for a decent amount of time,
i can tell you im totally sold on its concept.
i might've had doubts but i doubt no more.

the reason for this blog post was cuza line i read in the books.

now im not much into the usual romance/day to day life kinda books.
those of you who know me know im normally buried in a thriller or a war novel,
something with high paced action.

however since i went to the library with my sister,
she picked me 2 books.
which i read..after my 2 thrillers.=D

the 2 books are "Train Man", and "the X'mas Factor".

now i dunno if anyone else has read those books before,
not exactly the most masculine of books,
but there was a line in the X'mas Factor tad really stood out to me.

a brief summary of both books before i get to the line.

In the "Train Man", we have this guy, who is a netizen, basically a no life geek who trolls online forums everyday,talkin about cows tad moo and chickens tad cluck.
and one day on the train, he has a rage fit brought about by this drunkard and becomes a "hero" to the passengers on the train.and when they go make a police report, he passes his address out to the other pple who were witnesses, and a girl sends him cups and a "thank you" note. What follows is basically the development of a typical love story, punctuated by extremely funny netizens posts and graphics tad even had the cynical me laughing.he den blows his savings, and in the end, when he comes clean with the girl tad he has been getting advice online, the girl den says to him "i see that you've been trying really hard".

"X'mas Factor " basically is a blonde book, and has a whole stream of whacky factors coming together to form a situation tad is usually untenable, but by the spirit of X'mas, bonds everyone toget and xmas still is a smiley one.

now the line tad got me thinking abit..

was from the X'mas Factor.

it goes thus :

"i may be a prize berk, but there's one thing i know Nick,old mate. Better to regret things you've done, than regret things you haven't. Get what i mean?"

i just thought i'll share tad line with you guys.

cuz it really helped me along a little.

i guess i regret alot in the past year..
but than again..
regretting tad i did too much..
is better than regretting i didnt do enough i guess.

oh wellz.
20/20 hindsight never makes one feel better.
yesterday was a pretty sweet day..
though long and tiring.

morning came by really quickly..
i met fysh and we went to play badminton at cckcc.
caught up over smashing a lil feathered ball across at each other over the net.
andi managed to smash so hard my string snapped.
so therefore i r 1337.

afterwards headed down for dance prac.
the choreography tad i did was well recieved.
so wo0t for that.
hopefully they can learn the steps quickly and watchnite svc performance will be a blast.

after tad was school where i basically vegetated for a good 2 hours cuz i didnt have my notes cuz i just paid my school fees and the material collections place was closed.
i then went home.

dumped my sweatay clothes from dance and badminton..
changed and headed down to meet the guys.

and the photos shall tell the rest of the storiez.

we met in town to just chill out.
den cuz i hadta head to the airport to send my mummy,sister and lil bro off,
we decided to wait for dud to finally reach town and be done with his stuff,
before we hopped into the "armored van" and drove down.

and as usual,
6 guys in a van with good music on and too much time on their hands,
resulted in this being created courtesy of wickmasuriya's markeys and highliters.

and they then decided to plaster if on the inside of my car's windows and scream as loud as they could to attract attention.
so we were at a turning junction next to a bus.o.0
and then.
they managed to attract attention i guess.

airport beckoned!!

and when guys go to the airport...
the only viable food option is.........

imma popeye da sailor mang!!!
spinach in a can!!!

after eating,
we headed to send my mummy n jie off..
also in the picture is my Godma/Tua Ei(biggest auntie)
this is the happy shot!!!

and den the sad shot=((((

notice that the only pple smiling are the leavers.
sg ftl plz.

and not content to be left outta the action,
the mariz streetz boyz joined in.

happy shot!

den the sad shot!!=(((
giant is like "ALAMAK WHY WAI WAI WAI WAI!!!!!!!"

and then the inevitable "bully ben" moment.

and since transportation wasnt an issue, and dudley was willing to take a break from study.
i decided to head to a place ive always wanted to bring g at night.
hahaha.now tad we've broken up all these saved up locations to bring her to have a good time suddenly seem less romantic.
but still magical.

this be my fav shot.
everyone's at the side,
and its like they're walking into the future kinda.

the emo shotz seriez.

henceforth i kill kenneth yeo...
and present : Kenny Y.
Instrument : Extendable Flute.

we kill wickermasuriya joshua kane tan shu ya
and present : Wanker T.
Instrument : Black String Beans.

kill ivan loh ming hui..
and present : I Chui.
instrument : Rong Regs.

Aaron Tan no moarrrr
and now Mr T. A. Sye
Instrument : Browing Hairz

no more Dudley Kow,
presenting : Mooooooo..Wah Kow!
instrument : cow tail.

no more Benjamin Ng,
presenting : BeNnG
instrument : armored van

some sights from the barrage at night.
apologize for the lousy quality of shots.
and the skill of the photographer also not to good.
wanted to bring her here to be lomantic as well as let her use her dslr.
oh wellz.
if she had the photos would definitely be 100 x better.

i swear the last pavillion on this bridge will be an ideal make-out spot.

okie back to pple.

giant's sainted dick.

josh's blackhole like quality

who needs backstreet boyz when mariz streets boyz rule!

3 quick groupie shots.

and more evidence why mariz cant be good thieves.

operation : Steal Mr Droplet
Status : Failed. Caught in action.

night was rounded off in the wee hours of the morning finishing the beer keg at dudders.
to the boyz of mariz streetz.

always remember!!!
everyone has a lil bit of sexy in them.
on a seperate note...
the song of the day is slightly emo.
its a song played last night over whisky and beer.
and it hit me particularly.
cuz she once told me tad i did too much and lost sight of the main picture.
i cant say whether im wrong or right i guess.
but this song does say why i did it all for i guess.
bryan adam's everything i do...
i did it for you..

Thursday, November 27, 2008


its more or less been 1 year.
and today would've been our 13 month.
alas things havent worked out.
and i've spent the best part of the last month beating myself up over it.
and as aunty mingli put it, sometimes you don't really have a choice.

this is the song of the day i guess.
im sorry tad you guys have to click it, but imeem doesnt have the track and i cant figure how to get the full song to stream so yup.


it really is a fitting song.
and takes me back to the past 1 month and sums it up really nicely.

the song is robin thicke's cry no more.

sets the tone for my day and my present direction i guess.

my fav song from his album.=)
yet another non-single gem.



extracted lyrics from the song tad ring for me..

I took the picture
I faced the truth
I lived a lifetime,
a lifetime with you
Now I watch you fall asleep smiling
And I lie awake

And I am a hero
I'm not made of steel
And I'm not the smartest man
But I know the deal
And I'll bleed for your lips
If you'll bleed for mine
And I can't escape it
Cause I do love you

Ooo so I don't cry,
I don't cry no more
Girl I know you want this
So I don't try, I don't try no more
Girl I know you want this
So I don't lie, I don't lie no more
Girl I know you want this
So I don't cry no more

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

hopes and dreams.

today's song a lil more emo.
hopefully it makes you guys sit up and take a listen.

the song is Heaven by Jamie Foxx.

i shall go into the lyrics a lil bit lower, but for now lets talk about hopes and dreams.

nirvana and heaven..
both seemingly unattainable things.
places where dreams come true, and you feel contented.

i guess im quite the idealist.
and i have really big dreams and hopes.
all along i've always told myself to dream big and hope even bigger.
cuz how far you set your sights, is how far you will push yourself.
cuz no one cares about your dreams.
they don't care if you do well, you achieve the life you wanna achieve.
so long as it doesnt benefit them in any way,
the average person in your life pretty much won't give a dam.
beyond vocal support.

and it is due to this very nature.
that i believe that one of the things tad most pple hold close and as secretive as possible,
is their very own dreams and hopes.
and sharing tad dreams and hopes only happens with pple tad you trust,you love, and you feel comfortable with.
pple tad you know will not betray you, pple tad will be there to help you reach those goals.
pple tad you believe in.

it is the very nature of the sensitivity of these personal things,
tad makes it such a tender subject to bring up.

and bringing it up.
makes you oh so vulnerable.
to teasing,
to the criticism,
to the ridicule.

have you shared your dreams with a random person in your life.
i highly doubt so.

i was going thru the past year in my head the previous days..
wondering where the hell i screwed up..
and i realize that part of the reason why i found it so hard to let go..
was cuz she really was a dream girl to me.
she's smart, she's beautiful, she's got a sense of humour,
she knew how to tease me, and a poke from her would get a smile on my face.
she would brighten up my day with single sentences, she would accompany me on my days n nights,
keeping this grumpy bear smiling,contented.
and time in her arms were juz heavenly.
and i couldnt be happier nor want anithing else.
all the shit i went thru everyday in camp, or at work, getting shit on by everyone in higher positions, would all fade away when my eyes found her.
and tad wry smile she would gimme as she anticipated the grouchy rant tad was incoming.
hahaha.=) those were perfect days.


there's dream number 1.before things changed i guess..hence "was"

dream number 2 was a little more difficult to achieve.
dream number 2 was in line with the chinese idiom " ai wu ji wu"
which to the best of my chinese memory,
means "love house love crow"
and the crow in this instance was her family.
i never felt so at ease with another family before.
be it even my own brothers-from-different-mothers families.
never ever so at ease.
we would go out for meals together..
i can still remember that one night when we drove out..
we went to kallang's shopping center..played arcade...
even her mummy joined in.=)
and then we went over to east coast..
and we walked...
in the darkness,
her sister and her mummy walking slightly ahead..
and with her just slippin her hand into mine...
and just walking along the walkway beside the beach.
i dun know anyone other family i tink i would've been able to do that with.

that was dream number 2 realised.

dream number 2 is an in-law family tad i feel at ease with.
a family tad i feel so comfortable,
that extended family dinners are commonplace, insteada the usual once a year reunion dinner.
i dunno if it applies to everyone,
but i've always wished for a close extended family.
like with both sides of my relations,
we ONLY meet during chinese new year and christmas.
i've always wished for a closer extended family.

and tad dream was realised with her family.

and im not being biased.
i've met up with qq's family before..and we've went for meals together..
i could never relax there.

so i do know wad im talking about.

dream number 3 was tad the girl would fit in comfortably with my bros.
and she was amazing.
tad night eating burgers out...
with my beloved timmy there.=)
man that nite was fantastic.
and then the nite of my birthday..
a girl tad would fit right in with these pple i hold dear..
a girl tad would be loved by them too.
i can still remember the comments after tad dinner..=)
still brings a slight warmth to my innards..before the grim reminder that she's someone else's now sends a gusty chill right over it and knocks it right over.
oh wells.

so yup.
there were 3 dreams tad i found in her.=)
at least while it lasted.

i found it highly amusing,
tad when we broke up..
and i was talking to her mummy,
thankin her for taking care of me this past year..
her mummy told me this "don't just disappear. you've become more a part of this family than anyone else has before. even thought she's made her choice, you'll always be welcome here."
she went on "when may(her lil sister) found out, she told me to ask you to be my Godson. cuz she's always wanted a brother. and you're everything tad she could ask for in a brother."

which i found bitterly ironic and brought a tear to my eye, cuz the very thing i was aiming to achieve in winning her family over... i achieved..

and yet i lost the most important person.


oh wells.
i do have 1 final gesture for them before i really take my bow outta that particular area in tampines..=)

but yea.
the point of this post in not to remind myself of pain so moving along....

i remember there was 1 night..
it was a saturday night..
and we were chilling in her room, me lying on her beanbag as usual,
and her in her bed..
and we were listening to music as usual.
i LOVED those lazy times.
it felt like a home away from the stress and bustle of the world you know?
but yea.
and that one night..
we talked about our dreams and hopes..
and we made a list of things tad we hoped to achieve together as a couple.
which is one of the things i asked for when we broke.
reason will be revealed when i finally get it.
which by then..
should be xmas time.

31 days to christmas.

okie back to topic..
but yea.

dreams and hopes.
and she's been the closest to being tad person who's had it all.
as close to perfect as anyone has ever been i guess.
hence why its hard for me to just walk on and move away.

i guess while she's been tad 99% dream for me,

i wasnt no where near to being even 50% of her dream guy i guess.
oh wells.
when i started out i already had 3 strikes against me alr.

okie thought of the day " so who would you confide your dreams to. who are the pple you would trust enough. if you have these pple...TREASURE them.tell them today tad you appreciate them."
everyone needs a lil reassurance from time to time.

the song today is a rather simple song.

its a beautiful love song.
and a song i sang to her once too.
in the first few months tad we were toget.=)

being a family oriented dude like my other weak-assed-bros
a fair portion of my dreams and hopes...
would lie in finding the person i can feel perfectly comfortable around.

the lady tad would make this bit of earth that this grumpy bear walks on....

a little piece of heaven.
and that little angel tad made it all possible.

check out lyrics under the link.
listening to the lyrics of this song really hits a tender spot.
its like the story of my past year...

Tell me have you heard the story
That took place not long ago
Bout an angel up in heaven
They say she up and ran away from home
Word is she had unfinished business
So back on earth she had to flee
Well you know I'm so elated
Because she's laying right here next to me

when we first heard this song together..she was really right there next to me...

Always dreamed that it would happen
I just didn't know exactly when
All my life I'd been waiting for something amazing

Said it took a while but now I know
So tell me can I get a witness
If you believe in miracles
And the proof I have is living

And my life will never ever be...

always dreamt of finding someone like her, just never thought i would find her now..i have always been waiting in a sense..for this ideal companion..and when i happened..it really felt like a miracle.

At times it seems we take for granted
How precious life can be
Just hold on and I'm sure you'll understand it
Bringing into this world
A precious boy or girl...

when God brings that someone special into your life..don't ever take it for granted..

cuz when tad angel takes flight..

your heaven wont EVER be the same again.


on a seperate note..
a coupla months back..
when baby moved into hall,
after the first month.
when it became evident that she wouldn't have much time to spare for me..
i bought myself a bball!
and started shooting hoops again.

and now 2 months down the line..
i feel like im gettin my old rhythm back.=D
the hang time may not be as long as it used to be..
neither am i jumping as high as i used to..
but i hope if i keep playing i'll lose a lil more weight and jump higher like last time.

today i played bball with a XLB team.
4 on 4.
XLB is like the unofficial nationals tourney.

so imagine this buncha bball dudes..all dam tall..all dam big..
and there's something dam primal about just CHARGIN you ass right into the middle of 4 guys who are taller den you,bigger den you ANNNNNNNDDDDDD


i swear there's this primal gorilla/bear within me tad cries for release.

its like box defense..
and only someone as retarded or insane like me would bunny hop right into the middle,
pray to allah tad i dun get flattened,fake here fake there fake here fake there...
praying someone takes the bait and gives me a hole to shoot.

so the ego boosting thing of the day was......

the guy..(i tink he was the captain)..
in any case he was like directing the defense.
and he was like(in chinese.im not about to HYPY the entire thing) "eh watch left..keep the zone steady.. sure can hold them one.."
den things were going well for them..
they were like 10-2 in a race to 17.
den i was like "cb la.all use height and mass to play one."
my team were all their point guards and shooting guards.
so i decided to be an ass.
and start rampaging.
so i started charging right into the middle.
and suddenly the score was 14-15 to us,courtesy of a coupla ridiculous charges into the paint and somehow getting the ball into the net in the midst of 4 wannabe-Giants.
and he was like "eh cb ya'll start watching properly.hold the box.beat one means its next guy pick up.ya'll dunno howta play meh!"
and as he was shouting that, i being my charge in the paint again..and den i fakey here and there..
and den did a fadeaway shot into the hoop.
and den he was like "wah lan eh cb la.how the fuck you defend tad kinda shit.fuck la i boh wei gong already."
den the other 3 guys starting laffing like shit.as well as my team members.
which was dam fun for me.

ego + 1 point.

its dam good to be back in the zone for at least 1 sport.

its always been a dream of mine for my girl to watch me do something im good at.
and up till today,
there's been 2 occasions tad i felt dam good playing sports.

one was when fish and crystal(i tink) came down to watch my match against tpjc.
during tad match i scored 2 goals.
and it felt really reall good having someone there who you love(fysh pls.not crystal) there to see you excel.

the other time was during hockey too.
where the girls team came down to watch our match.
i tink i scored 3 in tad match.=)
with pple who you actually give a dam about there to watch you play..
just makes you wanna perform better i guess.
pple like jamie and loi.
the 2 pple singularly responsible for my entry into the hocker world.

i've yet to have someone come down to see me play ball tho.
i was hoping tad baby would be tad person..
but oh wellz.
i shall juz keep improving till someone new graces my life again i guess.

but then again..
i dun think i'll ever allow someone to trod so much into my life again i guess.

arms length seems to be the safest.

its amazing how quickly you can lose faith.

i found this interesting quote from B&P,

"When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life. "

do you understand life?

Monday, November 24, 2008


im overdue for a song of the day update i know.
but been busy like a one-legged man at an ass kicking derby.
will be back most probably tmr.


hopes and dreams.

good luck to baby n dud n all who are having exams.
gambate and study hard!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

passing it on.

every exam day follows the same routine...
i reach home early on fri nite..
take out my books and sit and stare blankly at them.
i then read story books, play com games till i feel a lil better.
den i look at my books.
and den repeat.
den at about 10 i'll go mentally "WTF CCB GG SIT YO ASS DOWN AND STUDY"
and den i'll open my books,flip to a random page,
and den start playing computer again.

and before i know it.
its already midnight.
and i go "fuck this.go sleep first.i'll wake up early tmr to study before dance"
i'll den set my alarm clock at about 7,8 and den wake up on time.
and somehow i'll convince myself tad i need a good breakfast before studying.
so i'll drive out for breakfast, and then by the time i come back,
its time for a shower and going down for dance prac or school.
and then i'll head down to school early and den "study"
wad normally happens then is that i'll read abit,
jot down notes a bit.
and den start chuggin down coffee and try to stay awake.
invariably i'll den find myself taking 30 mins naps in the study lounge as my brain completely shuts down.

today i set a new record.
i slept a total of 3 and a half hours.
and i took a total of 6 x double espressos.
and i still slept.
which doesnt bode well for the lack of effect coffee is having on me.
i tink i needta switch to tea soon.

in any case.
all went well and my exam was quite the breeze.
i should be able to maintain my A average.

so in this case,
i'm passing this on,
i mean something good happened to me,
so i shall write a happier post.
and hence why the song of the day is switched to something a lil more lifely.

its still a lil emo,
but most of all....

its my favourite yellowcard song.
i love this song with a ridiculous amount of passion.
it brings me back to my jc days,
where screaming yellowcard music in my room with the headphones on was like the coolest thing for a lil emo kid in the grooming.=D

so this is the song of the day.

cigarette by yellowcard.=D

this song is dedicated to the pple in my life who are still happily attached.
reminding them to always give their all to each other.=)
for the idealist in me still believes this truth.

there is no obstacle that love, and 2 pple working together, cannot overcome.

i love the lyrics.

love and cherish the special person in your life aight.=D
if you both believe and truly cherish each other.

its NEVER EVER too late.


Watching the days burning out like a cigarette, just a few drags to go
You built me up and you broke me down somehow
Everything just seemed so clear to me, nothing left to know
I'll love you right and I'll love you pure, right now

How can you say, that it's too late
To save us now

And I would wait for you (oh), if you would wait for me (yeah)
And I will wait for you (oh), if you will wait for me (yeah)

Intoxicated the edge is serrated, so easily torn from the core
I blushed the first time that you blushed the last time my eyes hit your mind
Regenerated these feelings of hatred, I long for your love evermore
You built me up and you broke me down this time

And I would wait for you (oh), if you would wait for me (yeah)
And I will wait for you (oh), if you will wait for me (yeah)
How can you say, that it's too late
To save us now

How can you say


this song was the song that first came to mind.
on the sunday after we broke up.
and i wanted so much to sing this to her.
hoping tad it would change her mind.
but i guess i should've known better.

oh wellz.

its really really beautiful.

and upon hindsight i guess wad i said is true.

love is something meant for two.
and if 1 person ever believes that its too late for something to happen.

den i guess something else negative will happen instead.

amazing lyrics.

in case you pple havent realised,
purple is a color im reserving for lyrics/words tad i wish i could've said/sung to her.
but hum chee boy i guess.