Sunday, April 30, 2006

3 weeks gone.

my 3rd week in camp is over.
and hmm.
there's only another 4?5? more weeks.
and tis week wen i book it,
it would mark another monumental point in my NS life as this week is my field camp week.
which means i would be gone from here fer a total of 2 more weeks.
not really lookin forward to it as it will be a wearisome journey n taskin.
im worried of the challenges i'll face,
but im more determined to make em good.
command sch is wad im lookin fer.
hopefully i'll have wad it takes to get me there.

tis past week has been particularly tiring as it marks my return from my hand injury.
in actual fact,
it doesnt,
but i haf told myself to ignore the pain n juz train fer fear tad i wunt be able to get to command sch should my injury be of such a sustained time tad i wouldnt be able to get my silver for my IPPT at the end of BMT.
so yea.
i've been doin pushups n chin ups ignorin all the pain by restin my weight on my left hand.
which explains why my left side's achin really badle.
we did IMT which is basically computerised shootin tis week as well.
i got a pretty good groupin considerin i wasnt from ncc or sum other uniform group tad gave me a chance to shoot before.
the best in my platoon shot a groupin size for 4 bullets of 1.1 cm.
tad's ghey.
cuz basically,
one bullet's width's 5.56 mm.
so yea.
go figure how ghey is tad.
i got a groupin of 1.8 fer my very first try,
which i was incredibly proud of,
but den yea.
as i got more n more tired,
den yea.
my groupin finally averaged out at about between 2.6 n 2.
which is decent i guess.
but yea.
aimin fer better.

wad else.
we had tis really tough day which was strength trainin,close combat skills n SOC.
in like CAT2 weather,
which is basically a heat alert.
so yea.
we were wearin the long sleeved uniforms in th heat n runnin around lookin like fools.
trust me.
its only aft runnin around in army boots tad you truly appreciate runnin shoes.
in tad uniform,
each step is a major effort.
i tink i've lost a bit of weight,
but not nuf i feel.
cuz only 1 person commented i lost weight.
so yea.
shall aim to lose more weight.
hopefully i can cut down to about maybe 70 n start chisellin from there.
and maintain.
which means wavin goodbye to indulgent living but yea.
a healthy slim lookin body's prob worth it.

wad else.
my section cum bunk is startin to really bond toget,
i finally begin to feel a sense of belongin.
it s a start to combatin the initial lonliness tad i felt n struggled to cope with.
but i realised another thing missed.
its personal space.
wen you hafta share your personal space wit so many pple,
it gets stiflin.
and i didnt realise it till i booked out.

tad wen you book out,
you juz want time alone.
you juz wanna be arnd the pple who are you life n tad's about it.
you dun hafta do very much,
say very much,
juz bein in the presence is good nuf.

wen i booked out yest,
my section went fer lunch.
den i came home.
there was alot of initial disagreement,
but yea.
in the end i manage to spend time wit my family n my girl.
went out to celebrate angela's birthday,
had dinner at glutton's bay n headed into the party at dxo fer a while juz to take a look n chill out.
i miss the club.
i haf good memories there perhaps,
and tad's why i like the place.
i like dbl o even more but yea.
21 except fer thurs.
me?thurs?not possible.
but one thing's fer sure.
the next time i book out,
which should the thurs one week away from now.
imma go club.
i wanna dance.
since i book out on thurs nite,
fri nite's party time.
time to go dance n moooooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeee.:))

Saturday, April 22, 2006

today is our book out day.

2nd week in bmt has passed.
and i guessed more lessons learned.

in the earlier part of the week.
i was really quite demoralised.
cuz my hp batt was low.
imma weird person in the sense tad i cant be without my contact wit my loved ones.
so wen my hp batt started dyin,
my morale fell as well.
i got really grumpy n all.
tad coupled toget wit my inability to do pushups n chin ups cuza my hand pain really pissed the shat outta me.
so yea.
i got a lil grumpy.
but yea.
wunt go into the nitty gritty,
but yea.
it wunt happen again.
i realised tad i haf a prob wit expression.
you're prob tinkin la "dun be a clown amek so much ambient noise you cant express yourself??"
but it realised my prob comes from the fact tad i store alot inside me.
and wen it bursts.
its tis multidirectional fire hose tad basically blasts everything in its way.

wen it did at least it was in a really cute n unobvious way.
it was durin an idealogue wit my sections mates regardin whether or not to go chiong fer ocs.
so yea.
there was this foo tad like gaf me tis sense tad he was really arrogant n all.
so i really couldnt take it n i burst.
and every single time he made a point,
i shot him down.
till a point tad like none of my section mates had an idea of wad my stand was.
but yea.
they all got really worrried fer me which i tink is a good thing.
at least they care a lil bit i guess.

you can never ever please everyone.
esp guys.
they all look fer diff things.
and fer every group tad you win over,
you lose a group.
it sumthin tad you know but yet you nv are truly prepared cuz you juz wanna be loved by all i guess.
quitoxic but yea.
cant help it.

runnin is no longer a problem fer me i guess.
other companies haf 5BX(5 basic exercises),
maybe every 2 or 3 days,inclusive of a 1.6 km run.
5BX everyday plus 5-6 lap run.
and our 5BX,
other compnies chant "1,2,3,4,2,2,3,4" so on and so forth.
ours chant "1,2,3,4,i love mohawk,2,2,3,4,i love mohawk"and so forth.
in 1 count of other companies,
1 set of 4 is 2 pushups,situps,jumpin jacks etc...
ours 1 set of 4 is 4 of every of the above.

and other companies do maximum 20.
mohawk did 50 counts of jumpin jacks,2 sets of 30 counts of pushups n 2 sets of 20 counts of flutter kicks.
trust me.
100 stupid jumpin jacks,
sumbody's muscle is DEFINITELY GONNA CRAMp.
and lagi best.
rite before book out n stand by bed area cleanin.
so like.
basically no platoon made the stand by area.
but yea.
got screamed at CSM,
got threatened to be confined,
den yea.
rushed to buy my stuff,
rush home to shower,
den went to meet her,
spent time fer a while,
den sent her off to dinner wit her frens,
rushed home fer dinner n laundry,
n chillin now.
admin time +++++.
i always get so motivated once im home i feel like i can take on the world again.
bein wit my loved ones makes me strong i swear.

oh wellz.
gonna slack n watch tv fer a while.
i wanna listen to music but daddy wants to watch tv so yea.

Thursday, April 13, 2006


imma recruit!!!
i aint got no moar hair.

MOHAWK company.
Platoon 1
Section 4 bed 8.

my company's supposedly the best i guess.
its kinda hard to fit in rite now.
life was slack before ns,
time fer myself,
time fer juz sittin down to think fer a while n appreciate life.
things you never appreciate till you lose it i say.
you never appreciate the fact tad you can walk from point to point till you lose tad priviledge n hafta rush from point to point,
rest your weight equally over 2 feet,
no shiftin of weight n hafta look str8 ahead.
you'll miss bein able to look arnd.
you'll miss restin on one foot.
you'll miss restin on the wall.
you'll miss the entire low stress environment.
you'll miss not havin sgts yell at you every single second.
you'll miss your freedom.
i just surrendered my i.c n got my 11B today.
you'll miss your civilian status.
you'll miss your hair.
you'll miss the fact tad you can haf fun,
hold hands wit your girl in public.
all the priviledges tad bein a member of the SAF doesnt entitle you to enjoy as long as you're in uniform.

simple things in life you take fer granted.
i tink part of the "life changin exp" tad NS promises is the fact tad it reminds all guys of how things was before we were independent.
and thru that process,
train us to defend these things we cherish.

the trainin's been pretty sweet.
its harsh.
its cramped.
the only thing tad's good about it is tad there aint no such thing as insommia.
wen you get abck to bunk,
you're so bloody shacked tad even goin to the stupid toilet's a test of personal will.
wen you fall upon your bed your back muscles cry protest,
and you still gotta go shower,
and gotta report in.
it take a lot.
but i intend to stick thru to it.
i wanna enter command sch should it be possible.
hopefully build my confidence along the way.
rite now we're all bloody incompetent soldiers so we get yelled at just about every other min.
i hope as things progress it'll change.
we need the knowledge to be competent wad.
if not we'll all be bloody kan chiong spider every single second of the day.
den as a matter of fact we'll get yelled at.
so yea.
go figure its kinda like a cycle i guess.

lights out time was like 1 n a half hours ago.
im still waitin fer her call.
and she still hasnt called yet.
so like i cant go to bed.
needta go buy stuff tml.
oh wellz.
shall juz relax in civilisation i guess.
only 20 more hours of it left.

Thursday, April 06, 2006


in less den 10 hours from now,

am i become NS man Ng.
oh wellz.
so much to say,
so little time cuz i wanna play gb before i go sleep.

i am a lil afraid,
a lil excited,
a lil weary,
and apprehensive.
i guess its not like imma approach it wit trepidation but at least a modicum of respect.
really cant wait.

last words.

to family:
panic not n realx.
i will prevail.

to qi:
you better be waitin n cryin your eyes out every day.

to fysh:
we huat on good friday.

to alv:
we huat on good friday,
chiong aft pop.

other frens:

to rah:
i still mean it wen i sorry.

dunno wad else to type.
gb time.

see you guys one week from now without hair.

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch: 9
Quality Time: 8
Acts of Service: 6
Words of Affirmation: 6
Receiving Gifts: 1


Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

in less den ten hours,

Monday, April 03, 2006

the actions you wished you hadnt taken.

it seems tad of recent times,
i have loadsa things i find myself wishin i hadnt done.
wishin certain pple hadnt done to me.
wishin certain pple didnt behave this way,
wishin certain pple didnt have the instincts and habits they did.
fer all everyone has done,
why make everythin fer vain.
its a cruel world.
make things the best fer yaself,
extend the hand wen possible,
spend tad lil extra time,
cherish tad extra lil moment.
live it fer a lifetime.

live fer the moment,
live and rem it fer a lifetime.
make it last.
and if tad moment can be built into sumthin more tad you know you can cherish,
despite the fear,the annoyin lack of funds,the tired body,
do it.
at least.
tad's the way i live my life.
i feel im happy.
i feel tad im slowly accomplishin things.
it mite not be the perfect way.
but i believe tad if there's a need fer a rush,
God'll make it pretty clear.
but at the same time,
if it shouldnt be done,
there would be really REALLY clear signs to tell me otherwise.
oh wellz.
another cryptic entry.

the beauty of language.

to seek the msg within,
to unlock the truth beneath,
open your heart to the words,
let it permeate.
maybe den,
the words will find your heart,
and not your head.

3 more daes.

its 3 more days and i enter ns.
part of me cant wait.
the other part is kinda trembling.
im pretty sure i'll rise to the challenge.
but i hope they'll allow fer like a conditioning period.
my aim is to lose 10+ kg in my course spent there.

hopefully 15.
den my weight'll be perfect.

loadsa things being on my mind now.
i saw a side of sum1 again yest tad sent me into loadsa tinkin again.
oh wellz.

did housework today.
fun fun fun.

the 1st of 3 farewell dinner begins tml.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darknessT
here's a light that I can't find
Well maybe it's too far away
Maybe I'm just blind
Maybe I'm just blind

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
hold me when I'm scared
and Love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
you wanted me to beI
'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
you can Hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone

When your education x-ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my fans
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
and Love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
that you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I couldI'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Maybe I'm just blind

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
and Love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
that you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone

3 doors down.
when im gone.
you should know it its fer you.

had breakfast wit maisie,
den had church.
dance was a bit rushed,
but i guess in the end,
everythin should've gotten done.
joey wasnt here,
apparently in someplace wit loadsa girls.
cant rem where.
scored only one today tho.
oh wellz.

imma in a hyper emo mood.
kinda contradiction i know.
but yea.
certain things and actions you wished pple would understand.
esp this very one.