if i juz lay here.

quiet moments in the day,
look out your window and stare away,
watch the world pass you by,
watch em birdies over treetops fly,

see the paths tad lie ahead,
see the truths that you hate,
see the deceptions you've woven yourself,
see the lies tad'll condemn yourself to hell.

feel the joy tad a simple smile brings,
feel the love when your lover sings,
feel the warmth of an encircling arm,
feel the love so comfortable and then some.

so many times we take for granted,
wad we have and then regret it,
when we choose not to hold them closest,
and in the end find out you're the one tad loses.

you're searching for that perfect reason,
you're lookin for the perfect someone,
a reason for all the pain and shame,
the person to take the hurt that damns.

you search and look but it cant be found,
you're lookin but the person isnt around,
or has it been veiled in lies,
have you been looking with unbiased eyes.

open wide and see things as they are,
dun let opinions and tiredness make you see it from afar,
open wide and let yourself see,
things arent as bad, as they seem to be.

aft so long.

so here i am,
once again,
at a another critical junture in my life where i needta decide where do i head for the next 3 years.
tbh,
im really quite set on doing hotel management, and the "ideal" path is alr all "found out about"
2 years doing a hospitality course and 1.5 years doing hotel management.
ideal is the sense tad its exactly wad i wanna do, but if i get to do it i guess.
meanwhile,still gotta ensure that my other options are open,teaching,normal uni i guess.
/shrugs.
so much to think bout.
life changing decisions ftw.

been keeping busy also.
making sure that i still have enuf to tide thru the next months as well as ensuring that i got enuf to pay off my projeckt.
busy busy busy.

had dinner with the boys last nite toget with nan n vanessa and its juz amazing to see pple growing of age.
its always funny how we always meet and ALWAYS, at one point or another,
this line would come out "OMG IMAGINE when we're 40 and we're having dinner like this and we'll be saying "WHAT THE HELL WERE WE DOING AT 21!!!!"
its always fun to go out with the guys.
=)


sigh.
got lots on my mind atm.
and i cbf to blog it all down.
wait till im more emo.
/shrugs

it comes down to the simple line.

times when shit happens.
and everythin you set planned nicely all screws up.
then you realise that the solution is simple and it all revolves around you.
dun revolve your life around what isnt yours.
do that,
and you'll juz get shit all over again.
/angst.
now get the hell away from me.

1-10 of my ns life

1- month to ORD
2- no of months of clearence i expected
3- no of stripes on my sleeve
4- no of weeks of clearence i got.
5- total number of extras i signed
6- no of parades i did in unit.
7- no of fellow ops spec who die with me daily
8- no of signatures i hafta get on clearence form
9- months in training phase
10- no of mcs i taken.(ive only taken 7 so far /winkwink)