lost.=)

i just read the funniest thing in a book bout humour.

"my relationship with this girl was fast and furious"
"i was fast and she was furious"

ROFL its dam funny pls.
okie.
fine.
maybe its juz me.-_-

its been a crazy week o ups and downs man.
last sat was awesome.
nothing else has come close to achieving the same effect in a dam long time.

the effect being smiling like a dickhead and smilin stupidly wen i sms.

but yes pls.
i be slightly more cheery again.
it always is better to wake up to be able to look forward to sumthin besides the "okie work.den run 6 k..tryta run faster..den okie wow..den erm.okie.go back to sleep" routine.
been pretty sweet pls.sleepin wit a smile and awaking SLIGHTLY LESS grumpy.okie maybe not less grumpy.but at least the grumpiness doesnt last as long.maybe till the 1st msg comes in.kekeke.

so this week was the semi's for SAFSA 11-A-Side hockey which yours truly was representing RSAF.
the 1st round was played against the eventual champions,Guards, (DARYL I HATE YOU:@)
which we were leading in the 1st half...but in the 2nd half,we got 2 players sent off, and in the time that remained,they plonked 3 past us.:((((((
so we were left with 3rd and 4th place to fight for.:(
we ending up going a mindef side wit a coupla runners(yea yea my bane.-_-)
and i was asked to play mid.(lagi sian.-_-.moar runnin ftl.)
so yea.
ran my balls off,got my goal in the 1st half (btw top scorer fer airforce,5 in 7 appearences);)
and in the 2nd half,they equalised from sum fluke referee call.
and we went to strokes,the hockey version of penalties.=P

aft 3 conversions by our side,
their national team palyer steps up...and swings the ball off target.

air force = 3rd in the inter-formation competition,the 1st time a top 4 has been reached since 1983.:)
tad was before i was born.:P
as our captain kept reminding us,we made history.=)

im pretty satisfied.
2 x hockey tourneys in my NS life,both i walk away with a trophy,losing only to teams with more den a few national/safsa players.
reads as an accomplishment in my book any way i read it.=)
so yup.
i'll get a pic of the trophy to let you guys see it once i get my lazy ass arnd to doin it.
but im really really v satisfied with the results.=)

tis week's been full o ups and downs.
work has been a bitch.
i hadta experience the full screwed upness of SAF once again,
where suddenly the medic which was all along done by the conductin side was suddenly supposed to be indented by me,and i was scrambling all over the place from camp to camp tryin the beg and borrow a medic for 3 hours.:@ cuz my own camp is undermanned medic wise.
wth man.
the answers that you get really not 1 x piss you off.:@
"good afternoon chongpang medical center"
"hey,3sg ben here,need a favour from you guys,i know its last minute and all.....etcetcetc..."
"erm...i think cannot.we got no medics available.they will be out"
"out?out on wad"
"im not sure..but they'll be out"

12^$%&^^%*%$^&%$&*#^#

"good aft PLC medical center"
"copy n paste"
"im sorry,there is a directive that prevents us from supportin other units."
".............."
*at this point in time,i wanted to swear over the dam phone "EH YOU TRYIN TO BE FUNNY ISIT.THIS IS SAF LEH.AIR FORCE ALSO SAF.YOU FIND ME THE $%$^IN DIRECTIVE NOW.BLOODY CPL TRYIN TO BE FUNNY ISIT."

this was aft like 4 other air force camps told me they cant support and i was already at wits end,+ i was rushin down to my hockey game, + i was doin sumthin else,i had more then enuf of a shitload on my mind and they gimme this kinda last minute shit.

really not 1 x angst.

thinkin back on it now still makes my bloody boil.
rofl.

oh wellz.

and i realised sumthin.

people,despite the best intentions,
will do things for a reason.

if you work hard,you'll want to be noticed and respected for your work.
if you're nice to a person, no matter how pure your intentions are, you'll want that person to be nice back to you.
you know?
the basis of acknowledgement.
the word isnt the best but for want of a more suitable word,
imma need more sleep before i get you one.

but niwae.
i was juz thinkin.
my fren asked me this over teh-oh-peng and chicken cutlet + fries this afternoon.
"eh siao eh.why you bother so much"
*i was angsting over my work cuz of the medic thing and the recall shit tad i was singly handling.
and i realised the answer was really simple.
im workin hard for :
1)self satisfaction:i know im good at what i do.now its time for you to see it too and respect me for that shit.
2)ORD in peace: now this mite not sound like much, but i am prayin for 8 weeks of clearence pls.
ive hard the hope of 3 months drop all the way to 9 weeks till now its 6 weeks,its HALF of its original figure.
im juz hopin my understudies come asap man.
my life is traumatic nuf as it is alr.

being in NS has minused at elast 5 years off my lifespan, and definitely sent my brain back to the stone age again.
i half expect to wake up one morning and go "OOGAAH BOOGAH.ME TARZEN.YOU...YOU..YOU NOT JANE.JANE GOT PAPAYAS"
*cheap poke at total male environment but yea.
you get the idea pls.
i wake up every morning grumpier.
lol.

my mshs frens should know wad i mean.
in jc it lessened quite abit,
but zomg.im reachin a whole new level in grumpiness.
=)

WHEE.quite proud of myself pls.
as i constantly extol,
GRUMPY BEAR > ALL.

so yea.
dun call me in the morning pls.
3 words to prepare you for wad you'll get....

NASTY, NASTY, NASTY.

okie nwiae.
sidetracked like hell again.
i juz wanted to say that its kinda a really sad thing.

you do sumthin for sumthin you desire,but if you didnt desire that thing in the 1st place,would you have even put in so much effort in the 1st place?and even if you did,please dun tell me you absolutely do not hope for sumthin pls.
tads a lie tad even mother theresa will go to hell for la.

she was was geng cuz she wanted her love to be followed.
there's a hope rite there.
even osama had his hopes pls.
he wanted more less educated muslims to follow the originals into doin more stupid things while he hid and got rich on oil money pls.

everyone has their own goddamn hopes despites how noble your intentions may be la.
so yea.suck thumb if in the end,you put in your heart and soul into sumthin and you dun get appreciated for it,maybe you should've asked rite from the start if tad would've been wad you'll stand a chance to get.
but you didnt.why?cuz you were tryin to build character and more importantly,you told yourself it didnt matter.
then when you dun get it,den you QQ,den you realise it did matter and more importantly,you juz got pwned by the end product of hope which is a 4 syllable word of UTTER PWNAGE.

its called,

DISAPPOINTMENT.

So climb off your high horse alr.
sick of having to deal with all you people with your own agenda man.
you pple are the reason why i work so hard every single dam day,just to hear the letters ORD.

in other areas.
i guess im pretty much as fine as can be.
juz slightly disillusioned regarding sumthin,
more then slightly confused,
and quite abit angry at myself for mistakes done in the past.

i remember this phase in the Bible.

"Lord gives us the wisdom to accept the things we cannot change"

and that was all i had for sole comfort.
witout those words,it would've been a shitty night beyond belief.

its incredible how the things you think dun matter would pop up coupla months down the road and pwn you tombaleh.

looked to innoculous rite the start,all "its nothin la"
and den "BLAM"

"Past action crits you for 12091724986124781297213 dmg"
"You suck thumb and die."

yea.
im more den a lil confused i guess.
i really dunno what to think alr.
heh.

oh wellz.
thats wad makes it so interestin i gguess.
no 2 people are the same in the way they deal with things.
its a whole new world to figure out.

just imagine,
6 billion pple out there,chances are in your lifetime,you'll meet about 50000 faces.
you'll hafta figure how this 50000 tick.

sounds daunting eh?
dun worry,you're prob thru 9000 already.;P

okie.
im gonan go crash.
stupid ass recall tml.
:@:@:@:@:@:@@:@

WTB EARLIER ORD DAMMIT.:@

/angst