emotions and realisations.

heh.
words.
its amazing how juz the simplest of them can turn so much arnoud so quickly.

heh.
and as a ode to my previous post.:P
they be the powers of manipulation.
on sun i had a chat wit my church leadership regardin my return to playin guit for service.
and i said sumthin tad was refuted almost instantly.

the line was,

"you wouldnt know wad im feelin unless i desire to let you know so"

and they said this

"you mite not wan to let us know.but we can tell"

now not to undermine wad they said mind you,
but honestly,
ive spent all my life hiding my emotions and dealin with em myself.
you would think i would know wad im talkin about rite?
-_-

like honestly.
the only pple i totally am at ease with showin exactly how i feel are my bros.
like yea.
possibly the only 2 females on earth tad i mite show em too are my mum and sista and tads cuz i trust em + i'm prob needin their advice.

stems from this reasoning.

if i tell you, so wad?would you be able to gif me exactly wad im lookin for?would you know wad to say.
if i tell you,i add to your mental burden.wad for.as the cck trolls line goes." SEEEEEAAAAAAOOOOOW"

to me,
alot of the emotions you feel can be resolved amongst yourself.
at times,these emotions are honestly childish even in your eyes.
den why entertain em by giving them a voice.
juz beat it down,be unhappy till your logic kicks in again,and you'll be perfectly fine.
1 x conflict/ potential unhappy incident avoided rite?

i had one of the abovementioned today and likewise i did the same.
i juz shut the hell up.
and yea as i said,you wouldn't have known unless i choose to tell you.
so pfft pls.
n even wen i tell you,ever heard of half truths?=)
i may sound like im dam full of myself pls but please dun get me wrong.
unless i really wanna tell you,you really wouldnt know.
i mean like.
geez man.
its been a part of my life all along.-_-
you would think i know better den to come and question me with regards to that right.

niwae.
i conceded that point,
and hopefully within a year or 2,i'll be back on stage playin again.=D

but seriously,
i wanted to do sumthin i always do in camp to them.
no offense meant,but

person in question"then how?"

me : /lifts up my hands and raises ONE of the 5.
"suck this"

for all you pre ns/females you're prob thinkin its the vulgar finger.
wrong pls.its the thumb.

why?
cuz all is not good,
so you wanna put a thumbs down,
then you realised the shit has hit the fan and you're gonna get screwed aniway,
you revert to your baby days and stick a finger into your mouth and suck,
and since you were in the motion of puttin a thumbs down,
the thumb was alr sticking up,so you sucked it pls.

the ultimate gesture of helplessness.

tads how i feel it is pls.
1 x impassiveness pwns anyone tomaleh.
its called a poker face for a reason.
if not,the expression wouldnt have come about in the 1st place eh??

hmm.
2nd thing i wanted to mention was sumthin i was thinkin about on my bus ride back from my traumatic tuition session juz now.shall talk about it later.

but its this.
you know,
i would like to believe that having spent 21 years upon this plane of reality,
i would be able to handle myself in most situations.

like meetin established pple "Good evening Sir.", or frens "eh siao eh",pple i dun like /avoid eye contact and walk the other way, you get the idea?
like i just know how to deal the situation tad i mite find myself in you know?

but i realised that there is one situation that im definitely still a nub at.

for all the those idiots waitin with bated breath to laugh at me for being a nub,

/shit on you pls.

niwae, the situation is the one of the heart.
i realised tad despite being the hard nosed, stingy bas*^&%/3SG, mean,grumpy,angsty emo potato, etc etc etc etc etc etc...

i get pwned once it comes to girls pls.
i shall blame this on my all boys school education.
6 years of SAPS and 4 years of MSHS = 10 years no girls.
of which in this 10 years, 4 of which was the point in time you realise girls exist for a reason and you experiment and learn howta communicate to them.

now not that im having problem communicatin mind you,my mummy think im too glib tongued,
but i realise, tad i get dam emo with regards to certain females pls.-_-
and it pisses the sheeeeeet outta me.-_-
hello.where's mr Ice pls.-_-

annoyin annoyin annoyin.
shall stive to be a lil more impassive.
its like a crack in this UBER GENG armor that protects me from the world and its atrocities.
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@

in the words of IRONMAN.

I MUST IMPROVE MY ARMOUR.IT MUST BE STRONGER THAN BEFORE TO DEAL WITH THIS NEW THREAT.

kekek marvel comiks ftw.:D

okie lastly before i head to bed.

my harrowing tuition lesson.

this is excepts mind you from my lessons.
imagine fierce grumpy me.(not tad requires much imagination it being my usual self, but yea.)
now just to put things into perspective,
this kid has his final year exams TOMORROW.
i thought i was gonna be just helpin do a lil brush up + teach him answerin techniques


me " What is a destructive plate boundary?
him " a volcano"

/jaws agape.
later in the lesson.

me " Whats the difference in the leaves of a tree in a tropical rainforest and that of a monsoon rainforest"
him "the leaves are thinner."

/jaws agape x 2.

me "whats the diff btw the roots of a tree in a tropical rainforest and monsoon"
him"the roots are bigger.buttress roots"
me /stunned "which is buttress roots"
him"mangrove"

/jaws agape x 3.

this one take the effin cake.

me " your longshore current travels along the coast rite?"
him"yea"
me"YOU SURE??????" *giving him the "you have gotta be shittin me look"
him"errrrrr.."
me "you better think carefully,if not im gonna call your mummy down"
him " eerrrrr..."
me i went to draw out a coastline for him, gave him normal waves and longshore to draw directions.
you guess which direction he draw?

--------->
--------->
coast --------->
--------->
--------->

at this point in time,i slapped my forehead and panicked.-_-

i asked him "eh,you christian,buddhist,islam any kind of religion??"
he " yea.buddhist"
me"okie,now,you go revise,later burn the textbook and drink.but whatever you do,PLEASE REMEMBER TO PRAY TONITE K THANKS."
and juz in case you pple think im being mean,
he juz looked at me and giggled.

/roll over and die.-_-

hired 3 weeks before exams,wad you expect from me pls.
im not God.
im juz a grumpy tuition teacher.-_-