back to basics.

heh.
so aft my binge on sat and sunday's recovering period.:)
im finally bak to a normal state.
heh.
and here's sumthin tad hapened to me yest which once again explains the irrationality of the SAF system.

i was feelin really crappy wen i woke up as it was a dastardly cold night,
so aft going to the ops room and updating the status boards for the unit,
i decided to go upstairs,take panadol cold and take a short nap hopin that wen i wake up i can work witout having the have 1 hand perpertually pinching my nose so i dunt sneeze.
so i went up and rested.
less den 15 mins aft i did that,
my boss comes upstairs to my bunk and asks me wad am i doin here.
i explain tad im not feeling well.
he threatens to give me extras for skivin off during work time.
i tell him im really not feelin well.
den he says go report sick.
i tell him if i report sick,i'll get an mc which i dun want as i wanted to do sumthin in the office aft that.
he says if im not sick,the MO will charge me for tuangin.

so off i go.
result?
1 day mc.
mind you,if i had juz taken my medication and rested,i would've been perfectly fine by noon time.
but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo.
SAF does not trust you enoughto know how your body works despite you having been binded to this same mortal coil since birth.
go figure.
niwae.
free MC ftw.
sure i really did feel and look like shit,but i know i can recover so why not trust my own judegment rite.-_-

so in the end,i went up to bunk and rested whilst waitin for my mummy to come pick me up.
by the time she arrived,i was feelin all good once again.
*gives the duh look*
so anyway,free MC /cheer.
more driving miles for me.

heh.
speakin of which,
i've driven an insane amount since i got my license which is orgasmic pls.
at least like 10 hours or close to that.
for a new driver witout a car,im pretty proud o that.:D
maybe its a new driver thing,(i know my sister doesnt really have much of a fire for driving atm)
but im seriously in love with driving.
*note to self: not control freak talkin here*
i dunno what it is but there's this pure serenity and calmness that comes upon me wen i drive.
its like everythin shifts up a notch.
i remember wen my sis 1st started driving,she use to tell me to shut up and not distract her.same for sum1 else tad i was fortunate to have been driven arnd by her once.prob never again but yea.o.o.p.
but wen i started driving till now,i can rattle on and on and on and its not rambling.
like how whilst driving my sister home yest from church i could be reasonin wit my mummy thruout the entire journey.
there's juz this "peace" that exists in the driver seat i swear.
*shrugs*
i think you hafta go thru it to understand wad i mean.

niwae.
i have a dream.
:)
to haf enough cash to put down as downpayment for a car by next july.

anyone wanna buy my wow account?
its fully "zhnged" out.
anyone has lobangs for weekend jobs/weeknight jobs?
i needta find means and ways to attain savings of 1.1k a month for the next few months till july.

btw im totally serious about this dream.:)
so if you guys can help me find work for the weekend/tuition kids i <3 you big time pls.

even if not by next july,by the end of the year.
i think its highly attainable.
*ONWARD*

on another note,
im still stuck on whether or not i should go to SIM or go NIE.
both are paths i really wanna take,
but the fact that SIM now has a course that truly caters to hotel management is sumthin pretty irresistable.
oh wellz.
as my mummy said."apply to both.whichever you get into its God's will."
"den wad if i get into both"
"PRAY LO"

o_0

hmm.
okie random thought now.
i dunno why,but i had 2 cases of pple tellin me shit last nite,
so i shall blog about one.the other i shall not even mention cuz its not my place to do so.
so.the one i shall speak about was a pj girl.
was speakin to her before i left to pick my sister up,
and i realise that there's really a very very very very big change in concept of physical intimacy now.
gone are the days of physical purity.
i.e like peekaboo till marriage then show hand.
now it seems that everythin goes except the deed itself.
and she was tellin me how all her frens are like sliding into last base and how her own guy wants to join that league of extraordinary gentleman and how its so hard to say no.
and then i think.
is it that hard?

i dun think so.
i mean.when guys start thinkin with their small heads insteada of their big ones,
its pretty much quite simple to tell which way are they headed.
if you cant figure it out,its called headin south to the land of glory.
its pretty much how much the girl is willin to give.
then comes this point.

"guys will trade love for sex,
and girls will trade sex for love"

you know,i always thought that was a whole loada bullshit,
but now that i actually have normal female frens,
and tad ive started listenin to em(bite me.:@)
i realise that it really is true.

how much you really want that person,
and how much are you willing to sacrifice to make that person yours.
is your body a kinda currency with which to bind a person to you?

i used to think so.
honestly.
blame it on my Sunday School influenced youth,
but i always had this impression that the woman you have sex with = your wife/husband.
and now,im standing here.
with frens and pple i know,
who have long lost their own and now are having 2nd and third helpings of the forbidden fruit.

i was tellin my sister before.

"once you've done it.the next time gets easier and easier.cuz you have nothing to hold back for alr."

i really think its true.
for guys and girls alike.

so aft all this happenings,
wad is the last thought in my mind?
i would juz like to say to every single girl out there who's in love/think you're in love.

you're just as pure as you were wen you came out.
pristine and untouched.
think of yourself as a gem that you're the owner of.
you decide how much to value is.
and till that ring is upon your finger.
i dun think there's a man out there in the world worthy of you.

/shrugs.
but then again.who am i to say.
im not exactly the pope himself
with regards to the issue of physical intimacy so yea.-_-
(bite me x 2)

of course,
there are saving graces.
i call this occurence "guys with dicks attached to their hearts"
in WoW we term these pple would come under the category of "rare spawns"


this would equate to a situation where girl offers herself to boy and boy says "nope.not till we're married" or "nope..not yet" or "nope,asadasdasdasd"(you get the picture yet or you need more examples?)

all in all.
how does this affect me.
the biggest way i guess,
is that i would no longer treat physical intimacy to be the same kinda binding force as it was before.
i use to think that wen you kiss a person,wen you hold that person.
you're giving part of yourself to that person.
you're so enterwined its like Jayz & Beyonce wit R&B going in the background.
you're like freakin soul linked.
and den i realised for myself that girls can treat physical contact with the same detachment that guy can.
and that dam near gutted me like a fish.
so lesson to self is,juz cuz a girl is willin to rest in your arms, doesnt mean she's willin to love you long time.
she mite be a inner guy and be in another guys arms within a month's time and tad'll leave you gutted.
be stronger.
2nd thing?
i wanna be a guy wit a dick attached with heartstrings.
and so bite me.

done being melacholic.
bringin up things i wanna leave behind and that's never a good thing.

shall sign off with msges.

josh and dud-mambo on wed?i got 1 x due off this week i dunno when to take!!!
alv-when can i come over uncle.-_- you still haben tell me.

ANYONE WANNA BUY MY WOW ACCOUNT!!!