another week's passed,7 more to go.

its been a horrific week.
fears became horrific reality wen our OC came back.
and on his 1st mornin,
decided to bring us fer a run tad didnt stop till we were screamin our lungs out singin fer 1 km.
i would est we ran a whole lot more den 2.4 cuz any other estimation mite result in exaggeration.
suffice to say.
it wasnt pleasant,
but i looked forward to it cuz i really miss mornin runs.
but not tad much.
n certainly not tad excessive.
alot of the others who got gold,silver fer their ippt found themselves at the back,
whilst slower runners like me did manage to keep up.
i attribute it to mohawk training.
:))

the mental advantage really helps.
being prepared n all.
hmm.
sighz.
training tis week's been an exercise in fear once again,
fear of confinements,
extras.
suffice,
in every single platoon.
there were more den 6 extras signed.
one dude in my platoon clocked 5 all by himself.
my platoon got arnd 20+.
the record platoon got 40 plus.
basically,
half their platoon would book out whilst the rest stay in camp fer almuz every weekend.
craziness.
charlie coy.
it was bad nuf wen OC was arnd.
now he's back,
its worse.

it didnt help tad me n qi are in a really bad patch as of now.
i shall not go into details,
but i hope tis'll all be over by tml.:))
i swear regardin certain things,
imma fatalistic optimist.
in certain things,
i needta fall upon my face,
smash my nose in,
n yea.
feel a whole world o hurt before i admit defeat.
actually.
im quite stubborn if i feel im rite or if i want sumthin to work.
i'll juz keep hammering in till it works or it breaks.

i hope it works.
i dunno why.
but sumhow.
i feel alot o fear.
hearing all those stories of how girls leave their guys during NS,
havin seen one happen in my platoon n how it affected tad guy,
i juz fear i guess.
n i get paranoid.
n in my worries,annoy her cuz im basically a worrier.
sighz.
dunno la.
im juz really annoyed with the way things are rite now.
sighz.

fears within really scare the shat outta me.
i know i'll survive.
but how hard will the pain be should the worst happen.
i shudder to even imagine.
*shrugs*
pple close to me ought know i guess.
i've only told...
2 pple?
yea.
you lucky elite few at the rite time n place.:))

sighz.
cant wait till i see her tml.