sighz.
wassup pple.
its been eternity since i've blogged gues.
wad's been up.
nuttinmuch.
school's boring,
my life's gettin tragically dismal again.
my christian walk is slippin.
its juz amazin how much things can change in the short span of a week or two..
or three.
its juz amazing how things juz wunt work out.
you can read the signs n hope..
and then circumstances come about n rob you of the very hope tad drives you own.
sgh.
sorry fer the typos.
usin a whole new keyboard standard.
hmm.
yeahz.
robs you of the very hope tad keeps you driving on.
if there's anithin i hate in the world its responsibilty.
the quintessential value tad makes us singaporean i guess.
my sista's in east asia,
doin God's work.
every nite i pary fer her n the team safety.
and yet.
i cant seem to attain my nirvana and sustain it.
my area of perpertual bliss.
i dun mean contentment.
contentment's a sinch compared wit bliss pls.
how to be content.
simply accept life fer wad it is i guess?
lower your standards.
i know loadsa pple who do that.
wen they cant attain wad the seek fer,
they juz lower their standards,
being satisfied wit wad they have n juz bein in anti loco.
i'll much rather be a grumpy person searchin fer sumthin better in life to make mi happy den be content wit my own inadequacies.
the way i see it,
if God has sumthin good and perfect fer mi,
it sure as hell aint gonna be easy to attain.
so if you alow yourself to be content n stay in stasis,
you mite never reach tad level pr perpertual bliss tad's been planned out fer you.
or mi fer tad matter.
which juz angers me.
i really cant help but feel really hateful n spiteful to this world tad i live in.
wherein lies my nirvana.
wherein lies my solace.
i know in the Lord is the peace tad encompasses all.
but yet.
im really havin trouble acknowledgin my religion now pls.
i relly cant help it.
my walk is in shambles.
and i dun tink i can continue pushin on if i gif it up cuz i know its all tad is left of my driving force.
i dun wanna kid myself.
i'll prob end up wit a BBC wit muz prob a B fer gp but imma hopin fer an A.
tad's a really optimistci grade outlook alr.
i cant say much else cuz plainly there's not much to look forward to.
sigh.
i was readin this book by meg cabot in school.
(dun even begin askin my why i read it,the bimbo who sits next to mi had it,i was bored,i kapped it and read it.)
i wanna be a qoute "modelizer" unqoute.
go figure.
sighz.
havin to gif up a certain person tad i was told to,which i know is the right thing to do,which i know is incredibly hard fer mi to do havin been enamoured by her fer so many yrs has left an anticiator empty space within myself.
and the truth of the matter is,
i aint gonna get much in the way of gorgeous gals in the next 3 yrs.
aft A's,
imma play wow,join src hockey,join rage soccer.
in other words,
imma be in the same societical circle tad ive been in,
hence,
wad new gals?wad prospects.
i.e-O.
next 2 yrs,
imma be in ns.
and i've sen evidence within my present social circle tad NS men are indeed desperate.
dun kid yaself.
if your in Ns and you dun know tad,
go get a grip.
you're obviously in dreamland,
OR.
you club your days outta NS away,grab any chick tad'll spread her nest fer you n kid yourself tad you're not lonely n you dun feel empty inside.
hence,
wake up.
chances are you'll prob get aids.
sighz.
i dunno la.
i read a book.
it said sumthin bout "findin the truth towards our cosmic loneliness"
fer lmi.
im still tryin to solve my own earthly loneliness.
i really cant figure.
social creature tad i am,
able to talk to muz ple,
offer tad listenin ear,
and havin my (if i may) not exactly trivial wisdom,
i cant figure wh i cant find my ideal clique of beautiful pple.
as in like in the pure un adulterated sense of the word.
simple put,
beautiful both within and witout.
i seem to find tad true inner beauty lies within pple tad i dun consider gorgeous,
and true outer beauty lies within pple who seem so shallow n insignificant within it seems like its a well of emptyness.
where is this clique of truly gorgeous pple tad i've been searchin fer.
i feel like i've got sumthin to prove,
but yet deep inside i know its really quite insignificant.
but its like my own guilty pleasure i guess.
i reall cant hep it.
the good lookin guys i've been in contact with with the exceptions of my bros are all so dam ass SHALLOW n tink they own the whole world cuz they're good lokin
their concept of the world bein their present surroundins n countin how many gals check em out.
the good lookin gals are even worse.
they tink the very land the walk upon should be worshipped by a posse of desperate men.
notice i didnt say with the exceptions of my sistas.
cuz basically,
no gals i've met can fit within my defination of sistas.
wit the exception of my blood sista i guess.
i really cant help it.
all my exposure to the world of females has taught mi tad females are juz sad.
they border on both extremes.
but yet imma modelizer.
sighz.
like wad more can i say pls.
juz sucks pls.
where is my nirvana?
hahaha.
i sumtimes really tink i'll die before i can find her.
how ironic eh?
i spend the 1st 20 yrs of my life figurin out wad kinda gal i wan,
the next 20 hopin i'll find her,workin my ass off juz in case if she caomes along sh'll be impressed,
the next 20 figurin where i went wrong,
the next 10 in retirement wonderin wad e hell happened to my dream.
den i die.
gee.
sighz.
sorry.
pessimism runeth over.
but all i've seen.
i really cant hope fer much.
maybe bein in a foreign land'll ake things easy fer mi.
maybe i'll find my nirvana there.
and if ya hvent figured,
my nirvana bein in a woman'a arms,
a gorgeous individual tad i love n loves mi back,
one tad's accepted by my family,frens,who'll all be there to support mi wen i wait at the end of tad matrimonial aisle.
one tad'll be able to help mi in all i do.
one tad'll help mi be at peace wit the world.
dos she exist?
aft seein all the singaporean gals.
i hafta say,
i'll prob end up wit and angmor.
HAHAHA
and den mummy'll kill mi.
hmm.
i'll settle fer sum1 as oxymoronic as mi.
i.e,
open minded but still rooted enough in conservative asian values.
sum1 who loes goin ou but yet cherishes family time at home.
sum1 who knows the world but concerns over home.
all the kinda stupid oxymorons tad make mi who i am i guess.
*shrugs*
im weird.
i need a weird hot gal.
go figure.
im not ashamed to say i need a hot gal.
i really cant figure.
i mean.
who wouldnt wanna hot gal.
im juz voicin out wad i really feel insteada wat the pple need to hear.
those guys tad say:i juz wan sum1 wit a nice smile"
they be yankin your chain.
aint no such thing pls.
if tad be the case,
gif him a fat lad wit a big smile.
seeif his face turns in horror.
den i'll laff at all your ill concieved pre-notions bout how nice n real this guy is.
pfft.
gonna sto here before i offend more sensibilities.
not tad i exactly care rite now.
wad a difference 2weeks makes.
p.s-i love the new foo fighters song.
sighz.:)) AWESOME.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
back once again.
sighz.
wassup pple.
its been eternity since i've blogged gues.
wad's been up.
nuttinmuch.
school's boring,
my life's gettin tragically dismal again.
my christian walk is slippin.
its juz amazin how much things can change in the short span of a week or two..
or three.
its juz amazing how things juz wunt work out.
you can read the signs n hope..
and then circumstances come about n rob you of the very hope tad drives you own.
sgh.
sorry fer the typos.
usin a whole new keyboard standard.
hmm.
yeahz.
robs you of the very hope tad keeps you driving on.
if there's anithin i hate in the world its responsibilty.
the quintessential value tad makes us singaporean i guess.
my sista's in east asia,
doin God's work.
every nite i pary fer her n the team safety.
and yet.
i cant seem to attain my nirvana and sustain it.
my area of perpertual bliss.
i dun mean contentment.
contentment's a sinch compared wit bliss pls.
how to be content.
simply accept life fer wad it is i guess?
lower your standards.
i know loadsa pple who do that.
wen they cant attain wad the seek fer,
they juz lower their standards,
being satisfied wit wad they have n juz bein in anti loco.
i'll much rather be a grumpy person searchin fer sumthin better in life to make mi happy den be content wit my own inadequacies.
the way i see it,
if God has sumthin good and perfect fer mi,
it sure as hell aint gonna be easy to attain.
so if you alow yourself to be content n stay in stasis,
you mite never reach tad level pr perpertual bliss tad's been planned out fer you.
or mi fer tad matter.
which juz angers me.
i really cant help but feel really hateful n spiteful to this world tad i live in.
wherein lies my nirvana.
wherein lies my solace.
i know in the Lord is the peace tad encompasses all.
but yet.
im really havin trouble acknowledgin my religion now pls.
i relly cant help it.
my walk is in shambles.
and i dun tink i can continue pushin on if i gif it up cuz i know its all tad is left of my driving force.
i dun wanna kid myself.
i'll prob end up wit a BBC wit muz prob a B fer gp but imma hopin fer an A.
tad's a really optimistci grade outlook alr.
i cant say much else cuz plainly there's not much to look forward to.
sigh.
i was readin this book by meg cabot in school.
(dun even begin askin my why i read it,the bimbo who sits next to mi had it,i was bored,i kapped it and read it.)
i wanna be a qoute "modelizer" unqoute.
go figure.
sighz.
havin to gif up a certain person tad i was told to,which i know is the right thing to do,which i know is incredibly hard fer mi to do havin been enamoured by her fer so many yrs has left an anticiator empty space within myself.
and the truth of the matter is,
i aint gonna get much in the way of gorgeous gals in the next 3 yrs.
aft A's,
imma play wow,join src hockey,join rage soccer.
in other words,
imma be in the same societical circle tad ive been in,
hence,
wad new gals?wad prospects.
i.e-O.
next 2 yrs,
imma be in ns.
and i've sen evidence within my present social circle tad NS men are indeed desperate.
dun kid yaself.
if your in Ns and you dun know tad,
go get a grip.
you're obviously in dreamland,
OR.
you club your days outta NS away,grab any chick tad'll spread her nest fer you n kid yourself tad you're not lonely n you dun feel empty inside.
hence,
wake up.
chances are you'll prob get aids.
sighz.
i dunno la.
i read a book.
it said sumthin bout "findin the truth towards our cosmic loneliness"
fer lmi.
im still tryin to solve my own earthly loneliness.
i really cant figure.
social creature tad i am,
able to talk to muz ple,
offer tad listenin ear,
and havin my (if i may) not exactly trivial wisdom,
i cant figure wh i cant find my ideal clique of beautiful pple.
as in like in the pure un adulterated sense of the word.
simple put,
beautiful both within and witout.
i seem to find tad true inner beauty lies within pple tad i dun consider gorgeous,
and true outer beauty lies within pple who seem so shallow n insignificant within it seems like its a well of emptyness.
where is this clique of truly gorgeous pple tad i've been searchin fer.
i feel like i've got sumthin to prove,
but yet deep inside i know its really quite insignificant.
but its like my own guilty pleasure i guess.
i reall cant hep it.
the good lookin guys i've been in contact with with the exceptions of my bros are all so dam ass SHALLOW n tink they own the whole world cuz they're good lokin
their concept of the world bein their present surroundins n countin how many gals check em out.
the good lookin gals are even worse.
they tink the very land the walk upon should be worshipped by a posse of desperate men.
notice i didnt say with the exceptions of my sistas.
cuz basically,
no gals i've met can fit within my defination of sistas.
wit the exception of my blood sista i guess.
i really cant help it.
all my exposure to the world of females has taught mi tad females are juz sad.
they border on both extremes.
but yet imma modelizer.
sighz.
like wad more can i say pls.
juz sucks pls.
where is my nirvana?
hahaha.
i sumtimes really tink i'll die before i can find her.
how ironic eh?
i spend the 1st 20 yrs of my life figurin out wad kinda gal i wan,
the next 20 hopin i'll find her,workin my ass off juz in case if she caomes along sh'll be impressed,
the next 20 figurin where i went wrong,
the next 10 in retirement wonderin wad e hell happened to my dream.
den i die.
gee.
sighz.
sorry.
pessimism runeth over.
but all i've seen.
i really cant hope fer much.
maybe bein in a foreign land'll ake things easy fer mi.
maybe i'll find my nirvana there.
and if ya hvent figured,
my nirvana bein in a woman'a arms,
a gorgeous individual tad i love n loves mi back,
one tad's accepted by my family,frens,who'll all be there to support mi wen i wait at the end of tad matrimonial aisle.
one tad'll be able to help mi in all i do.
one tad'll help mi be at peace wit the world.
dos she exist?
aft seein all the singaporean gals.
i hafta say,
i'll prob end up wit and angmor.
HAHAHA
and den mummy'll kill mi.
hmm.
i'll settle fer sum1 as oxymoronic as mi.
i.e,
open minded but still rooted enough in conservative asian values.
sum1 who loes goin ou but yet cherishes family time at home.
sum1 who knows the world but concerns over home.
all the kinda stupid oxymorons tad make mi who i am i guess.
*shrugs*
im weird.
i need a weird hot gal.
go figure.
im not ashamed to say i need a hot gal.
i really cant figure.
i mean.
who wouldnt wanna hot gal.
im juz voicin out wad i really feel insteada wat the pple need to hear.
those guys tad say:i juz wan sum1 wit a nice smile"
they be yankin your chain.
aint no such thing pls.
if tad be the case,
gif him a fat lad wit a big smile.
seeif his face turns in horror.
den i'll laff at all your ill concieved pre-notions bout how nice n real this guy is.
pfft.
gonna sto here before i offend more sensibilities.
not tad i exactly care rite now.
wad a difference 2weeks makes.
p.s-i love the new foo fighters song.
sighz.:)) AWESOME.
wassup pple.
its been eternity since i've blogged gues.
wad's been up.
nuttinmuch.
school's boring,
my life's gettin tragically dismal again.
my christian walk is slippin.
its juz amazin how much things can change in the short span of a week or two..
or three.
its juz amazing how things juz wunt work out.
you can read the signs n hope..
and then circumstances come about n rob you of the very hope tad drives you own.
sgh.
sorry fer the typos.
usin a whole new keyboard standard.
hmm.
yeahz.
robs you of the very hope tad keeps you driving on.
if there's anithin i hate in the world its responsibilty.
the quintessential value tad makes us singaporean i guess.
my sista's in east asia,
doin God's work.
every nite i pary fer her n the team safety.
and yet.
i cant seem to attain my nirvana and sustain it.
my area of perpertual bliss.
i dun mean contentment.
contentment's a sinch compared wit bliss pls.
how to be content.
simply accept life fer wad it is i guess?
lower your standards.
i know loadsa pple who do that.
wen they cant attain wad the seek fer,
they juz lower their standards,
being satisfied wit wad they have n juz bein in anti loco.
i'll much rather be a grumpy person searchin fer sumthin better in life to make mi happy den be content wit my own inadequacies.
the way i see it,
if God has sumthin good and perfect fer mi,
it sure as hell aint gonna be easy to attain.
so if you alow yourself to be content n stay in stasis,
you mite never reach tad level pr perpertual bliss tad's been planned out fer you.
or mi fer tad matter.
which juz angers me.
i really cant help but feel really hateful n spiteful to this world tad i live in.
wherein lies my nirvana.
wherein lies my solace.
i know in the Lord is the peace tad encompasses all.
but yet.
im really havin trouble acknowledgin my religion now pls.
i relly cant help it.
my walk is in shambles.
and i dun tink i can continue pushin on if i gif it up cuz i know its all tad is left of my driving force.
i dun wanna kid myself.
i'll prob end up wit a BBC wit muz prob a B fer gp but imma hopin fer an A.
tad's a really optimistci grade outlook alr.
i cant say much else cuz plainly there's not much to look forward to.
sigh.
i was readin this book by meg cabot in school.
(dun even begin askin my why i read it,the bimbo who sits next to mi had it,i was bored,i kapped it and read it.)
i wanna be a qoute "modelizer" unqoute.
go figure.
sighz.
havin to gif up a certain person tad i was told to,which i know is the right thing to do,which i know is incredibly hard fer mi to do havin been enamoured by her fer so many yrs has left an anticiator empty space within myself.
and the truth of the matter is,
i aint gonna get much in the way of gorgeous gals in the next 3 yrs.
aft A's,
imma play wow,join src hockey,join rage soccer.
in other words,
imma be in the same societical circle tad ive been in,
hence,
wad new gals?wad prospects.
i.e-O.
next 2 yrs,
imma be in ns.
and i've sen evidence within my present social circle tad NS men are indeed desperate.
dun kid yaself.
if your in Ns and you dun know tad,
go get a grip.
you're obviously in dreamland,
OR.
you club your days outta NS away,grab any chick tad'll spread her nest fer you n kid yourself tad you're not lonely n you dun feel empty inside.
hence,
wake up.
chances are you'll prob get aids.
sighz.
i dunno la.
i read a book.
it said sumthin bout "findin the truth towards our cosmic loneliness"
fer lmi.
im still tryin to solve my own earthly loneliness.
i really cant figure.
social creature tad i am,
able to talk to muz ple,
offer tad listenin ear,
and havin my (if i may) not exactly trivial wisdom,
i cant figure wh i cant find my ideal clique of beautiful pple.
as in like in the pure un adulterated sense of the word.
simple put,
beautiful both within and witout.
i seem to find tad true inner beauty lies within pple tad i dun consider gorgeous,
and true outer beauty lies within pple who seem so shallow n insignificant within it seems like its a well of emptyness.
where is this clique of truly gorgeous pple tad i've been searchin fer.
i feel like i've got sumthin to prove,
but yet deep inside i know its really quite insignificant.
but its like my own guilty pleasure i guess.
i reall cant hep it.
the good lookin guys i've been in contact with with the exceptions of my bros are all so dam ass SHALLOW n tink they own the whole world cuz they're good lokin
their concept of the world bein their present surroundins n countin how many gals check em out.
the good lookin gals are even worse.
they tink the very land the walk upon should be worshipped by a posse of desperate men.
notice i didnt say with the exceptions of my sistas.
cuz basically,
no gals i've met can fit within my defination of sistas.
wit the exception of my blood sista i guess.
i really cant help it.
all my exposure to the world of females has taught mi tad females are juz sad.
they border on both extremes.
but yet imma modelizer.
sighz.
like wad more can i say pls.
juz sucks pls.
where is my nirvana?
hahaha.
i sumtimes really tink i'll die before i can find her.
how ironic eh?
i spend the 1st 20 yrs of my life figurin out wad kinda gal i wan,
the next 20 hopin i'll find her,workin my ass off juz in case if she caomes along sh'll be impressed,
the next 20 figurin where i went wrong,
the next 10 in retirement wonderin wad e hell happened to my dream.
den i die.
gee.
sighz.
sorry.
pessimism runeth over.
but all i've seen.
i really cant hope fer much.
maybe bein in a foreign land'll ake things easy fer mi.
maybe i'll find my nirvana there.
and if ya hvent figured,
my nirvana bein in a woman'a arms,
a gorgeous individual tad i love n loves mi back,
one tad's accepted by my family,frens,who'll all be there to support mi wen i wait at the end of tad matrimonial aisle.
one tad'll be able to help mi in all i do.
one tad'll help mi be at peace wit the world.
dos she exist?
aft seein all the singaporean gals.
i hafta say,
i'll prob end up wit and angmor.
HAHAHA
and den mummy'll kill mi.
hmm.
i'll settle fer sum1 as oxymoronic as mi.
i.e,
open minded but still rooted enough in conservative asian values.
sum1 who loes goin ou but yet cherishes family time at home.
sum1 who knows the world but concerns over home.
all the kinda stupid oxymorons tad make mi who i am i guess.
*shrugs*
im weird.
i need a weird hot gal.
go figure.
im not ashamed to say i need a hot gal.
i really cant figure.
i mean.
who wouldnt wanna hot gal.
im juz voicin out wad i really feel insteada wat the pple need to hear.
those guys tad say:i juz wan sum1 wit a nice smile"
they be yankin your chain.
aint no such thing pls.
if tad be the case,
gif him a fat lad wit a big smile.
seeif his face turns in horror.
den i'll laff at all your ill concieved pre-notions bout how nice n real this guy is.
pfft.
gonna sto here before i offend more sensibilities.
not tad i exactly care rite now.
wad a difference 2weeks makes.
p.s-i love the new foo fighters song.
sighz.:)) AWESOME.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
wad can one say.
its really been sucha crappy week,
sucha crappy weekend.
im really sorry fer the grim looks,
the snappiness tad i've layered onto pple.
but at in the end.
i really cant fault my actions pls.
it came from the frustrations of the inevitablity of how one's life's gonna turn out and the frustration of bein unable to change society and the wheels tad continue spinnin on wit time.
it juz sucks pls.
tis was supposed to be God's world.
n likw.
it rawlly sucks la.
i realy regret my actions of the past.
i know they'll come back to haunt mi one day.
i wish i had been wiser.
but everythin happens fer a reason n i choose to believe tad sumthin good will come out of this.
everythin will work out in the end.
i will learn my lessons.
i will be wise.
i will work my way overseas and make sure i turn out to be sumthin tad God'll be proud of.
i shall return being a fine n upstart gentlemen n start leadin kids in my life long dream of being a teacher who changes lives.
i really wanan make sure i can do all tad.
but at the same time i hafta have the financial security before all that is possible.
and i hafta work my ass off to get oversaes n get my stupid certificates to prove to the world im woth tad money.
so thus.
the reason fer my frustration.
but all i wanan do now is save money n study hard.
so im really dissapointed wit myself.
but yet i know.
im not gonna have time fer anithin else.
sighz.
sucks la.:(
dunno wad im talkin bout too.
hopefully wen friday comes about.
i'll be more clear minded by then.
goodbye all.
sighz.
sucha crappy weekend.
im really sorry fer the grim looks,
the snappiness tad i've layered onto pple.
but at in the end.
i really cant fault my actions pls.
it came from the frustrations of the inevitablity of how one's life's gonna turn out and the frustration of bein unable to change society and the wheels tad continue spinnin on wit time.
it juz sucks pls.
tis was supposed to be God's world.
n likw.
it rawlly sucks la.
i realy regret my actions of the past.
i know they'll come back to haunt mi one day.
i wish i had been wiser.
but everythin happens fer a reason n i choose to believe tad sumthin good will come out of this.
everythin will work out in the end.
i will learn my lessons.
i will be wise.
i will work my way overseas and make sure i turn out to be sumthin tad God'll be proud of.
i shall return being a fine n upstart gentlemen n start leadin kids in my life long dream of being a teacher who changes lives.
i really wanan make sure i can do all tad.
but at the same time i hafta have the financial security before all that is possible.
and i hafta work my ass off to get oversaes n get my stupid certificates to prove to the world im woth tad money.
so thus.
the reason fer my frustration.
but all i wanan do now is save money n study hard.
so im really dissapointed wit myself.
but yet i know.
im not gonna have time fer anithin else.
sighz.
sucks la.:(
dunno wad im talkin bout too.
hopefully wen friday comes about.
i'll be more clear minded by then.
goodbye all.
sighz.
and you give yourself away...
lookie here.
sighz.
church was okay.
i shall now recap yest.
as in the better parts.
the pseudo alumni vs the present yr teams.
it was a pretty good match i guess.
fiar competition from both sides,
i sprained my ankle again but still kept on playin,
the final score was 3:3
wit the score seesawing between us,
seniors scored 1st,
den juniors equalised,
den seniors 2nd,
den juniors..
den same thing..
the final 2 seniors goals were scored by yours truly,
the 1st being a loose ball pounce and the 2nd being a volley from juz inside the dee.
so yup.
it was a pretty good match all round.
den i came back,
showered,
rested n studied at nite.
so yup.tad's bout how the whole day went.
den today was pretty the same la.
went to church.
couldnt really get ministered cuz of sumthin being on my mind.
den went fer lunch wit parents,
den went to study at KAP,
did tys question fer math.
found out i couldnt do it.
so tad sucks.
well and good.
never mind.
in the end i juz wanna go study and earn money.
tad's bout the whole reason fer our existence here aniway wad.
i dun believe a person can serve the Lord witout havin his heart in peace.
n if tad be the case,
i sure as hell better start makin myself feel secure if not i'll juz be hampered in the end again.
so yup.
im really in a dam bad mood this few days.
so pardon mi if i dun smile so much.
dun laf so much.
and snap at you.
its really nuttin tad ya'll can help.
maybe pray fer mi to haf determination.
but fer now.
all i care about is studies and findin a way tog et cash to go oversaeas to study.
so yup.
bye all.
parents being annoyin.
com hasta go outta the room.
watch this spot this fri.
i'll prob hav it back again then.
bye all.
sighz.
church was okay.
i shall now recap yest.
as in the better parts.
the pseudo alumni vs the present yr teams.
it was a pretty good match i guess.
fiar competition from both sides,
i sprained my ankle again but still kept on playin,
the final score was 3:3
wit the score seesawing between us,
seniors scored 1st,
den juniors equalised,
den seniors 2nd,
den juniors..
den same thing..
the final 2 seniors goals were scored by yours truly,
the 1st being a loose ball pounce and the 2nd being a volley from juz inside the dee.
so yup.
it was a pretty good match all round.
den i came back,
showered,
rested n studied at nite.
so yup.tad's bout how the whole day went.
den today was pretty the same la.
went to church.
couldnt really get ministered cuz of sumthin being on my mind.
den went fer lunch wit parents,
den went to study at KAP,
did tys question fer math.
found out i couldnt do it.
so tad sucks.
well and good.
never mind.
in the end i juz wanna go study and earn money.
tad's bout the whole reason fer our existence here aniway wad.
i dun believe a person can serve the Lord witout havin his heart in peace.
n if tad be the case,
i sure as hell better start makin myself feel secure if not i'll juz be hampered in the end again.
so yup.
im really in a dam bad mood this few days.
so pardon mi if i dun smile so much.
dun laf so much.
and snap at you.
its really nuttin tad ya'll can help.
maybe pray fer mi to haf determination.
but fer now.
all i care about is studies and findin a way tog et cash to go oversaeas to study.
so yup.
bye all.
parents being annoyin.
com hasta go outta the room.
watch this spot this fri.
i'll prob hav it back again then.
bye all.
the money entry.
sighz.
those of you who have no wish to see materialistic thoughts pls not bother readin this entry.
like honestly.
we're really shallow pple after all.
n i hafta say,
being a singaporean makes us even shallower.
1st.
let mi gripe,bitch,moan,whine whichever word you prefer.
money.
my goodness.
bein rich entitles you to so much.
or maybe juz bein in america entitles you to tad much.
i have a fren.
this ultimate being of gorgeousness tad juz about sums up my dream gal cept fer her bad habits.
my bros oughta have heard this name before.
ashley chay baoyi.
back in sec three,
whilst i was goin fer a math tuition,
i met her,
this lil dopey boy i was back then,
this really hyper,cheerful cute lil babe from rgs.
fer sum reason i was always sulkin durin math tuition cuz i hated it,
so i didnt really know why she came up to talk to mi in the 1st place.
it was kinda funny n flatterin at the same time i guess.
we could've been sumthin i guess,
if i hadta been such a ignorant n slack dumbass.
yesh.
hear the regret in my voice.
anyway,
after tad yr,
she left to go to the american school in shanghai,cuz her dad was posted there.
bout 6 months later,
she came back to singapore to visit her extended family,
was here fer juz bout 3 short days.
one day was spent with her family,
another with the cousins,
the other day she asked mi out.
we went to holland v,ate sum jap noodles,went to starbucks n sat down n chatted bout how we both wanted our lives to turn out to be.
she had the priviledge of enterin the us education system which fer one,i have always envied.
so she was tellin mi the stuff she wanted done,
she listened to all my dreams.
and before she left,
she gave mi a hug(my 1st hug from a gal mind you.)and promised to call mi out the next time she came back.
and as things progressed,
i lost my computer due to parental control shat,
we dropped outta touch..
and yup..
that call never came.
the next time she came back was about 2 yrs aft tad meetin we had.
and she'd changed a lot i guess.
aniwae,
how do i know all this?
well.
she was online juz now.
and graces upon all graces,
she remembered who i was and we chatted fer a while.
lemme tell you where she is now.
she's my age.
and she's in the UPenn.
tell mi bout accomplishments,street skills,everythins,
she leaps and bounds ahead of everyone i can name tad i know of at my age.
in other words,
she's juz about the average US kiddo wit prob higher grades cuz she's always been really hardworkin.
but wen i read her blog(which she juz gave mi the address again,once again cuza my lousy ass com)juz now,
i hafta tell you.
i felt so much envy and regret n surprisingly,a whole loada disrespect n hate fer singapore's education system,our asian culture and all.
the tone on the blog is that of sum1 who's seen the world,
at my age,
she's gone on trips all over the world,
once again wit money much is possible,
seen a whole load more of the diff levels of society,
such a mature n world wizened tone pls.
and i cant help feelin envious of that.
i feel regret tad i never bother actually lookin her up,
payin more attention to her in tad period of time where she was ina sense,now wen i look back,hittin on mi.
the singaporean education system,i've bithced about a whole shatload of times alr,
i shall not bother anymore.
but hate was a total surprise on my part.
i actually felt anger at my placement in this place where i am rite now.
i know God has his purpose for mi here and now,
but even still.
it really sucks pls.
seein how she's moved on in her life made me so angsty of the restrictions set by my parents,
by the culture tad impedes mi.
basically everythin rite now.
and i realise tad alot of it hasta do with a 5 letter asset.
its called the $.
i have nuttin much to say tad we're all so dam ass shallow sumtimes n tad i tink its imperative tad we all go out to see the world.
as a result of this experience tad i have juz undergone,
i haf decided to leave everythin behind.
allowance shall be saved,my pitiful ns pay shall be saved.
im goin overseas to studies.
if i make it in a uni here i'll stud here 1st.
but at the same timee i'll gif tuition,go overseas n study in the end.
im not gonna be sum lameass narrowminded singaporean trapped by my own melodramaticism.
i've got 1 short term target.
australia fer this november.
anyone has any sec/pri school tuition ya can recommend,pls do?
i need the extra cash.
i wanna go overseas n widen my perspective.
i dun wanna look at myself n find myself comin up short in the world.
sighz.
i shall gripe more about it another time pls.
im juz really feelin down now pls.
it really REALLY sucks to see myself against this one person tad i had found myself to be of the same intellectual sense can be soo far ahead of mi.
plus my 2 lousy ass yrs in NS.
she'll have gotten her degree by the time im out,
n prob doin even more whilst i hafta start at the bottom rug.
and im a bLOODY RETAINEE.
like how degradin is tad pls.
i feel like crap now.
my self esteem is prob at a all time low now.
and i've got no one to blame but myself n my folly pls.
and it sucks.
i've gotta start makin sumthin work fer myself.
and i need cash.
LOADS of cash.
its a money world.
and i need money.
money gaf her tad extra lift.
i want tad lift too.
n one thing's fer sure.
im not stayin in singpore alr.
oh yeahz.
as a bitter aftertone.
ya'll wanna know wad i was too immature to appreciate?
of course she's got her faults.
now she's become sumthin totally unrecognisable to mi tad even if she hit on mi again i'll prob say no.
cuz of her character change.its like the typical wild party gals tad i totally regard with disdain.
but yeahz.
on terms on physical attraction.
no one has ever come close to her.
hurrhurr.
sighz.
sleep time.
those of you who have no wish to see materialistic thoughts pls not bother readin this entry.
like honestly.
we're really shallow pple after all.
n i hafta say,
being a singaporean makes us even shallower.
1st.
let mi gripe,bitch,moan,whine whichever word you prefer.
money.
my goodness.
bein rich entitles you to so much.
or maybe juz bein in america entitles you to tad much.
i have a fren.
this ultimate being of gorgeousness tad juz about sums up my dream gal cept fer her bad habits.
my bros oughta have heard this name before.
ashley chay baoyi.
back in sec three,
whilst i was goin fer a math tuition,
i met her,
this lil dopey boy i was back then,
this really hyper,cheerful cute lil babe from rgs.
fer sum reason i was always sulkin durin math tuition cuz i hated it,
so i didnt really know why she came up to talk to mi in the 1st place.
it was kinda funny n flatterin at the same time i guess.
we could've been sumthin i guess,
if i hadta been such a ignorant n slack dumbass.
yesh.
hear the regret in my voice.
anyway,
after tad yr,
she left to go to the american school in shanghai,cuz her dad was posted there.
bout 6 months later,
she came back to singapore to visit her extended family,
was here fer juz bout 3 short days.
one day was spent with her family,
another with the cousins,
the other day she asked mi out.
we went to holland v,ate sum jap noodles,went to starbucks n sat down n chatted bout how we both wanted our lives to turn out to be.
she had the priviledge of enterin the us education system which fer one,i have always envied.
so she was tellin mi the stuff she wanted done,
she listened to all my dreams.
and before she left,
she gave mi a hug(my 1st hug from a gal mind you.)and promised to call mi out the next time she came back.
and as things progressed,
i lost my computer due to parental control shat,
we dropped outta touch..
and yup..
that call never came.
the next time she came back was about 2 yrs aft tad meetin we had.
and she'd changed a lot i guess.
aniwae,
how do i know all this?
well.
she was online juz now.
and graces upon all graces,
she remembered who i was and we chatted fer a while.
lemme tell you where she is now.
she's my age.
and she's in the UPenn.
tell mi bout accomplishments,street skills,everythins,
she leaps and bounds ahead of everyone i can name tad i know of at my age.
in other words,
she's juz about the average US kiddo wit prob higher grades cuz she's always been really hardworkin.
but wen i read her blog(which she juz gave mi the address again,once again cuza my lousy ass com)juz now,
i hafta tell you.
i felt so much envy and regret n surprisingly,a whole loada disrespect n hate fer singapore's education system,our asian culture and all.
the tone on the blog is that of sum1 who's seen the world,
at my age,
she's gone on trips all over the world,
once again wit money much is possible,
seen a whole load more of the diff levels of society,
such a mature n world wizened tone pls.
and i cant help feelin envious of that.
i feel regret tad i never bother actually lookin her up,
payin more attention to her in tad period of time where she was ina sense,now wen i look back,hittin on mi.
the singaporean education system,i've bithced about a whole shatload of times alr,
i shall not bother anymore.
but hate was a total surprise on my part.
i actually felt anger at my placement in this place where i am rite now.
i know God has his purpose for mi here and now,
but even still.
it really sucks pls.
seein how she's moved on in her life made me so angsty of the restrictions set by my parents,
by the culture tad impedes mi.
basically everythin rite now.
and i realise tad alot of it hasta do with a 5 letter asset.
its called the $.
i have nuttin much to say tad we're all so dam ass shallow sumtimes n tad i tink its imperative tad we all go out to see the world.
as a result of this experience tad i have juz undergone,
i haf decided to leave everythin behind.
allowance shall be saved,my pitiful ns pay shall be saved.
im goin overseas to studies.
if i make it in a uni here i'll stud here 1st.
but at the same timee i'll gif tuition,go overseas n study in the end.
im not gonna be sum lameass narrowminded singaporean trapped by my own melodramaticism.
i've got 1 short term target.
australia fer this november.
anyone has any sec/pri school tuition ya can recommend,pls do?
i need the extra cash.
i wanna go overseas n widen my perspective.
i dun wanna look at myself n find myself comin up short in the world.
sighz.
i shall gripe more about it another time pls.
im juz really feelin down now pls.
it really REALLY sucks to see myself against this one person tad i had found myself to be of the same intellectual sense can be soo far ahead of mi.
plus my 2 lousy ass yrs in NS.
she'll have gotten her degree by the time im out,
n prob doin even more whilst i hafta start at the bottom rug.
and im a bLOODY RETAINEE.
like how degradin is tad pls.
i feel like crap now.
my self esteem is prob at a all time low now.
and i've got no one to blame but myself n my folly pls.
and it sucks.
i've gotta start makin sumthin work fer myself.
and i need cash.
LOADS of cash.
its a money world.
and i need money.
money gaf her tad extra lift.
i want tad lift too.
n one thing's fer sure.
im not stayin in singpore alr.
oh yeahz.
as a bitter aftertone.
ya'll wanna know wad i was too immature to appreciate?
of course she's got her faults.
now she's become sumthin totally unrecognisable to mi tad even if she hit on mi again i'll prob say no.
cuz of her character change.its like the typical wild party gals tad i totally regard with disdain.
but yeahz.
on terms on physical attraction.
no one has ever come close to her.
hurrhurr.
sighz.
sleep time.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
twinkle,twinkle fadin star,your light seems so faint from afar.
after a really long time,i finally get to use the com again.gah pls.
wanted to use it alst nite but didnt haf time.
sighz.
twinkle twinkle fadin star,
your light seems so faint from afar,
blinding radiance slowly fades,
till a speck's all tad's seen of your face,
twinkle twinkle fadin star,
missed,will ya glow be from afar.
sighz.
its been a crappy week.
:(
sighz.
i hope tml's hockey match will make up a long way fer it.
sighz.
i really wish sumthin major would come into my life n take the place of exams.
sumthin tad'll make mi smile tad radiant smile of pure joy i used to wen life was soo much easier,
wen last min study before the O's still got you an A grade,
where school was a place where you went to to sleep your mornin n aft lessons away,
and only woke up to play bball during recess and lunch breaks.
where bros you knew you could rely on surrounded you and yelled encouragement at you.
where the teachers all knew your face n smiled at you everytimes you crossed their path,
where you had the self confidence to swagger arnd the school compound like you owned it.
i really hate bein a responsible person.
i hate havin to make the rite decisions all the time.
i hate having to study cuz i dun wanna let the pple who believe in mi down.
i hate havin to study cuz its the right thing to do.
but yet if i dun let these really wrong things motivate mi to study.
i wouldnt stuy at all.
ya'll mite all shout"bro its time to get a new perspective,you're workin fer yaself man!"
but to mi it doesnt really matter.
i know.
im a short sighted dim witted clown who cant see the big picture.
so bite mi.
im juz gettin really tired of it all.
every mornin i dread having to drag my lazy ass outta bed,
movin it to school,
plonkin it down in hard plastic chairs in uncomfortable hot classrooms,
doin the RIGHT thing.
i hate it all.
but still,i gotta do it.
sigh.
i really miss chillin out.
i really do.
i need sum1 who can minister to my heart and soul.
i've got God fer my soul,
where's the person who can minister deep into my heart n heal the ragged edges and mutiple hairline cracks tad run wild across it.
i want my ONE Lord.
show mi who it is,
allow mi to be content with who she is,
let mi love her fer who she is.
i HATE having to tink about "is she the right girl for mi,
is she God's choosen one fer mi.
juz dump her uncerimoniously in fronta me,
tell mi to shut up,
love her,
be a good and loyal husband and tad;'s it.
i wanna haf a clear path in life tad i know pleases you.
i dun wanna afta wonder about my actions being right of wrong,
pleasin to You or not,
i dun wnana hafta debate if studyin is thing tad'll please You,
and if i do it wit a reluctant heart its not true worship,
but yet in my act of doin it its an act of submission,
so thus it'l please you wit a ratio of two:1.
tad's juz ridiculous.
and highyl perplexin.
sighz.
i really wish things were diff..
i wan my special sum1.
whether is my special someone back(referrin to my sole ex),
of whether is the next person tad God's gonna place in my life fer mi to learn wad's the true meanin of love.
i wan tad person now,
and i wan her to like mi too.
tad makes things a hell lot easier on my end.
aight Lord?
in Jesus's name i pray.Amen.
gah.
sighz.
i hope tad doesnt count as blasphemy.
oh wells.
imma go sleep.
tuiton,
den hockey beckons.
YAY!.:)
time to dust of my wife(mt beautiful tk cruise compo stick) and get ready to run again.:))
YAy.im my age.woohoo.
PFFT
wanted to use it alst nite but didnt haf time.
sighz.
twinkle twinkle fadin star,
your light seems so faint from afar,
blinding radiance slowly fades,
till a speck's all tad's seen of your face,
twinkle twinkle fadin star,
missed,will ya glow be from afar.
sighz.
its been a crappy week.
:(
sighz.
i hope tml's hockey match will make up a long way fer it.
sighz.
i really wish sumthin major would come into my life n take the place of exams.
sumthin tad'll make mi smile tad radiant smile of pure joy i used to wen life was soo much easier,
wen last min study before the O's still got you an A grade,
where school was a place where you went to to sleep your mornin n aft lessons away,
and only woke up to play bball during recess and lunch breaks.
where bros you knew you could rely on surrounded you and yelled encouragement at you.
where the teachers all knew your face n smiled at you everytimes you crossed their path,
where you had the self confidence to swagger arnd the school compound like you owned it.
i really hate bein a responsible person.
i hate havin to make the rite decisions all the time.
i hate having to study cuz i dun wanna let the pple who believe in mi down.
i hate havin to study cuz its the right thing to do.
but yet if i dun let these really wrong things motivate mi to study.
i wouldnt stuy at all.
ya'll mite all shout"bro its time to get a new perspective,you're workin fer yaself man!"
but to mi it doesnt really matter.
i know.
im a short sighted dim witted clown who cant see the big picture.
so bite mi.
im juz gettin really tired of it all.
every mornin i dread having to drag my lazy ass outta bed,
movin it to school,
plonkin it down in hard plastic chairs in uncomfortable hot classrooms,
doin the RIGHT thing.
i hate it all.
but still,i gotta do it.
sigh.
i really miss chillin out.
i really do.
i need sum1 who can minister to my heart and soul.
i've got God fer my soul,
where's the person who can minister deep into my heart n heal the ragged edges and mutiple hairline cracks tad run wild across it.
i want my ONE Lord.
show mi who it is,
allow mi to be content with who she is,
let mi love her fer who she is.
i HATE having to tink about "is she the right girl for mi,
is she God's choosen one fer mi.
juz dump her uncerimoniously in fronta me,
tell mi to shut up,
love her,
be a good and loyal husband and tad;'s it.
i wanna haf a clear path in life tad i know pleases you.
i dun wanna afta wonder about my actions being right of wrong,
pleasin to You or not,
i dun wnana hafta debate if studyin is thing tad'll please You,
and if i do it wit a reluctant heart its not true worship,
but yet in my act of doin it its an act of submission,
so thus it'l please you wit a ratio of two:1.
tad's juz ridiculous.
and highyl perplexin.
sighz.
i really wish things were diff..
i wan my special sum1.
whether is my special someone back(referrin to my sole ex),
of whether is the next person tad God's gonna place in my life fer mi to learn wad's the true meanin of love.
i wan tad person now,
and i wan her to like mi too.
tad makes things a hell lot easier on my end.
aight Lord?
in Jesus's name i pray.Amen.
gah.
sighz.
i hope tad doesnt count as blasphemy.
oh wells.
imma go sleep.
tuiton,
den hockey beckons.
YAY!.:)
time to dust of my wife(mt beautiful tk cruise compo stick) and get ready to run again.:))
| Slow and Steady |
 They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it. |
How Do People See You?
You Are 19 Years Old |
19 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
YAy.im my age.woohoo.
PFFT
Thursday, July 07, 2005
maybe,maybe,never.
sighz.
i relaly am quite demoralised.:(
i really did study during the june hols.
and yet.
the results dun seem to be comin forth.
i was aimin fer stragith Os.
kinda like a steppin stone so i can like work my way up to like Cs fer prelims and like Bs and As by the A's.
but yet.
i see improvement.
but yet.
its not enuf.
not nuf fer mi,sure as hell not enuf for my parents.
i remember distinctly tellin my fren tad there's nutin to prove to pple.
tad she shouldnt like start bawlin juz cuz she cant meet the expectations tad pple set fer her.
and the expectations tad she sets fer herself.
and yet.
now imma victim of tad very same curse.
:(
sighz.
wad have i gotten back.
i missed my chem O by bout 2 %.
i passed my physics mcq.
everythin else's hasnt been returned yet.
sighz.
it really sucks pls.
granted,i did haf times during the hols where i totally gave up fer like a coupla hours,but eventually i came back to force myself to study thanks to the driving force of purpose driven life.
sighz.
but yet.
and O fer chem isnt tad hard to achieve pls.:(
and i missed it by like 3 marks.
like how much inustice is there la.
i minused a total of 5 marks fer not writin state symbols,
3 marks fer decimal places,
bout 6 marks where i had the right answer and everythin but i didnt get any marks due to lousy presentation.
:(
tad pple,is a total of like 14 marks,
which roughly translates into 7 %,
which pro gets mi like an E.
its not any consolation to me tad like outta the whole class,
only 3 pple got Bs,
the rest got E,O,F.
so like wad pls.
whose expectations am i strivin to reach.
my own?
or God's even.
sighz.
it really sucks.
imma hit the books again pls.
this is highly annoyin.
sighz.:(
i HATE school.
but yet i muz strive to get like a B average wen the A's.
and i cant put off organic chem animore alr.
its time to study it and get myself sum marks outta the STUPID 60 marks the allocated it and i didnt even try doin.:@
why?
cuz i decided to forgo org chem.
how dumb pls.
angst.
sighz.
bloody chem.
stupid physics,
even worse math.
sighz.
so much fer my steepin stone.
how depressin.
sighz.
on another note,
school's got new computers.
yay.
sighz.
i hate my life,
but yet havin to live it to glorify God makes it really hard fer mi to stay angsty at it long.
sighz.
i dun like purpose driven life.
its made mi stop bitchin alot,
made mi a generally batter person,
but still.
sumtimes yo wish you could cut loose,
yell out a stream o vugarities to turn the sky blue,
den feel alot better.
but then its all bout self control.
sighz.
christian life is really alot bout holdin back pls.:(
sighz.
oh wellz.
bye guys.
shall update we i got more time.
shall go recess now.:(
i relaly am quite demoralised.:(
i really did study during the june hols.
and yet.
the results dun seem to be comin forth.
i was aimin fer stragith Os.
kinda like a steppin stone so i can like work my way up to like Cs fer prelims and like Bs and As by the A's.
but yet.
i see improvement.
but yet.
its not enuf.
not nuf fer mi,sure as hell not enuf for my parents.
i remember distinctly tellin my fren tad there's nutin to prove to pple.
tad she shouldnt like start bawlin juz cuz she cant meet the expectations tad pple set fer her.
and the expectations tad she sets fer herself.
and yet.
now imma victim of tad very same curse.
:(
sighz.
wad have i gotten back.
i missed my chem O by bout 2 %.
i passed my physics mcq.
everythin else's hasnt been returned yet.
sighz.
it really sucks pls.
granted,i did haf times during the hols where i totally gave up fer like a coupla hours,but eventually i came back to force myself to study thanks to the driving force of purpose driven life.
sighz.
but yet.
and O fer chem isnt tad hard to achieve pls.:(
and i missed it by like 3 marks.
like how much inustice is there la.
i minused a total of 5 marks fer not writin state symbols,
3 marks fer decimal places,
bout 6 marks where i had the right answer and everythin but i didnt get any marks due to lousy presentation.
:(
tad pple,is a total of like 14 marks,
which roughly translates into 7 %,
which pro gets mi like an E.
its not any consolation to me tad like outta the whole class,
only 3 pple got Bs,
the rest got E,O,F.
so like wad pls.
whose expectations am i strivin to reach.
my own?
or God's even.
sighz.
it really sucks.
imma hit the books again pls.
this is highly annoyin.
sighz.:(
i HATE school.
but yet i muz strive to get like a B average wen the A's.
and i cant put off organic chem animore alr.
its time to study it and get myself sum marks outta the STUPID 60 marks the allocated it and i didnt even try doin.:@
why?
cuz i decided to forgo org chem.
how dumb pls.
angst.
sighz.
bloody chem.
stupid physics,
even worse math.
sighz.
so much fer my steepin stone.
how depressin.
sighz.
on another note,
school's got new computers.
yay.
sighz.
i hate my life,
but yet havin to live it to glorify God makes it really hard fer mi to stay angsty at it long.
sighz.
i dun like purpose driven life.
its made mi stop bitchin alot,
made mi a generally batter person,
but still.
sumtimes yo wish you could cut loose,
yell out a stream o vugarities to turn the sky blue,
den feel alot better.
but then its all bout self control.
sighz.
christian life is really alot bout holdin back pls.:(
sighz.
oh wellz.
bye guys.
shall update we i got more time.
shall go recess now.:(
Sunday, July 03, 2005
self absorbed in melodramaticism
you know..i've been doin alot of tinkin..
and i really hafta the applaud the power of one's mind pls..
you'll surprise yaself wit wad you can achieve wen you put ya mind to it..
haf ya ever found yaself not doin sumthin due to limitations you set on yaself?
ike you tell yaelf "you cant study" and you find yaself wringin ya hands in resignation cuz you feel you really cant pls.
but yet.
wen you put ya mind to it you find yaself strangly capable of bein to tough it out.
tad and the power of prayer pls.
or how bout tellin yaself "you're so this..so that..."
so much tad you find yaself believin it so much so..
i remeber stupid things i did last time..
tryin to decieve myself wit sumthin tad i wanted to be so real..
and i believed it..
i tot i really realy liked this gal so..
but yet wen i lost her,
it didnt really matter much to mi.
it kinda is amusing pls.
wad have you said you are lately?
too tired?
so sick of school?
too sick of life?
too much of this,too much of tad..?
you'll be surprised at how wrong you are if you're willin to take tad chance n change ya perceptions pls.
things you used to not even fathom yaself bein able to do mite suddenly fall rite witin ya arms.
no kddin.
victims of our own melodramaticism.
i really believe this to be a serious situation.
i cant even begin to count the no. of mistakes i've made cuz of my own self melodramaticism.
believin myself to be in my very own soap drama wit like the world as the audience and ya frens as fellow cast members..
den like you cast yaself as the stereotypical character akin to all soap dramas.
besetted on all sides by unfriendly forces,
den you're like e lonely one waitin for sumthin to happen.
wells.
news flash:
its not goin to happen.
unless you YOURSELf decide to make sumthin happen.
so yup.:))
message from your frenly neighbourhood fren who's been ther and done tad all before.
if stop makin yourself the star of a darma of your own makin.
wake up,
smell the roses,
grip reality n shake everythin loose from it so you can collect the change.
den you'll live a much hapier and better life.:))
on an entirely diff notes.
i was on a bus to suntec today.
and i went past raffles city.
and MAN.
the IOC pple were either meetin there or like stayin there.
but God,im proud of Singapore.
1stly,to be respected nuf to be able to host it.
and like yeahz.
its so awesome pls.
n one thing you gotta gif the gahmen la.
they really know have security la.
man.
goin along the one road,
i saw a total of like 10 uniformed police officers,
half of em operatin those crash preventor barriers.
the other half were millin anrd.
den besides them,
there were 4 ghurkas carryin stock mp5 and wearin their straw hats.
dam contrastin image.
like funny nice guys cuz of the hat,
imma kill you cuz of the gun.
den wen the bus went past the junction i saw the other side had the same thing.
but the ghurkas were standin in the middle of this patch plated greenery along the driveway which i tot was hilariously funny.:))
den i saw this guy at the side of the road wit like those flesh colored ear pieces tad you only see in movies.:))
dam cool.
and if movies are anythin to go by,
if you see one,
there's prob like 20 hidden ones.
so yup pls.:))
the gahmen may be many things,
but it sure as hell keeps this pkace secure pls.:)
thumbs up fer gahmen.
yay.
k
done my citizen's duty fer today.
nite all.
sista performance was totally awesome.
took loadsa pictures.
needta work on my skills wit a camera pls.
oh wells.
and i really hafta the applaud the power of one's mind pls..
you'll surprise yaself wit wad you can achieve wen you put ya mind to it..
haf ya ever found yaself not doin sumthin due to limitations you set on yaself?
ike you tell yaelf "you cant study" and you find yaself wringin ya hands in resignation cuz you feel you really cant pls.
but yet.
wen you put ya mind to it you find yaself strangly capable of bein to tough it out.
tad and the power of prayer pls.
or how bout tellin yaself "you're so this..so that..."
so much tad you find yaself believin it so much so..
i remeber stupid things i did last time..
tryin to decieve myself wit sumthin tad i wanted to be so real..
and i believed it..
i tot i really realy liked this gal so..
but yet wen i lost her,
it didnt really matter much to mi.
it kinda is amusing pls.
wad have you said you are lately?
too tired?
so sick of school?
too sick of life?
too much of this,too much of tad..?
you'll be surprised at how wrong you are if you're willin to take tad chance n change ya perceptions pls.
things you used to not even fathom yaself bein able to do mite suddenly fall rite witin ya arms.
no kddin.
victims of our own melodramaticism.
i really believe this to be a serious situation.
i cant even begin to count the no. of mistakes i've made cuz of my own self melodramaticism.
believin myself to be in my very own soap drama wit like the world as the audience and ya frens as fellow cast members..
den like you cast yaself as the stereotypical character akin to all soap dramas.
besetted on all sides by unfriendly forces,
den you're like e lonely one waitin for sumthin to happen.
wells.
news flash:
its not goin to happen.
unless you YOURSELf decide to make sumthin happen.
so yup.:))
message from your frenly neighbourhood fren who's been ther and done tad all before.
if stop makin yourself the star of a darma of your own makin.
wake up,
smell the roses,
grip reality n shake everythin loose from it so you can collect the change.
den you'll live a much hapier and better life.:))
on an entirely diff notes.
i was on a bus to suntec today.
and i went past raffles city.
and MAN.
the IOC pple were either meetin there or like stayin there.
but God,im proud of Singapore.
1stly,to be respected nuf to be able to host it.
and like yeahz.
its so awesome pls.
n one thing you gotta gif the gahmen la.
they really know have security la.
man.
goin along the one road,
i saw a total of like 10 uniformed police officers,
half of em operatin those crash preventor barriers.
the other half were millin anrd.
den besides them,
there were 4 ghurkas carryin stock mp5 and wearin their straw hats.
dam contrastin image.
like funny nice guys cuz of the hat,
imma kill you cuz of the gun.
den wen the bus went past the junction i saw the other side had the same thing.
but the ghurkas were standin in the middle of this patch plated greenery along the driveway which i tot was hilariously funny.:))
den i saw this guy at the side of the road wit like those flesh colored ear pieces tad you only see in movies.:))
dam cool.
and if movies are anythin to go by,
if you see one,
there's prob like 20 hidden ones.
so yup pls.:))
the gahmen may be many things,
but it sure as hell keeps this pkace secure pls.:)
thumbs up fer gahmen.
yay.
k
done my citizen's duty fer today.
nite all.
sista performance was totally awesome.
took loadsa pictures.
needta work on my skills wit a camera pls.
oh wells.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
take my hand and walk
i juz got back from evangelistic gig not long ago...
hmmm.
1 word : AWESOME.
heh.
i realy thank God fer the gig pls.
and joey comin over to chat wit us before the gig.
cuz he did so,
wen the time came fer mi to share wit fysh,
i was stuck,
but he came n open up everythin.:))
and tad really helped.:))
sooner or later fysh's gonna convert RITE FYSH. ;) HAHAHAHAHA
but yup.:))
i thank God fer his choosin to have put joey at my table tonight.:))
Thanks JOEY.:))
hmm.
the band was awesome.
the sound was awesome,
fysh and i were singin to almuz every song belted out,
it was juz such a wonderful time of juz chillin out after sooooo darn long...
today signalled the end of my mid terms.
i frankly and quite afraid of the results.
i await em wit mountin trepidation.
i juz hope fer a COO.
as in like a base to work my way up upon?
but yet i feel its not likely.
sighz.
im not gonna gif myself too long a break.
gonna resume studyin tml.
living my life as a living sacrifice.
i juz wanna do right.
and if right fer now means i study,
i shall.
funny how wen i finally surrender,everythin seems soo much simpler...
on another note..
you know..
the pple you've liked before in ya past life?
and like even tho you've moved on..or so you tink..
sumhow lookin at the person suddenly makes you have this sense of longin...
i asked fer a sign not long ago..
bout a certain sum1,
and whether or not she'll remember my birthday.
and if she didnt,
its not God's will fer mi to wait fer her.
and she didnt remember,
and so i moved on.
i patched up wit old enemies,
made things straight and settled every single one of my interpersonal realationships..
and moved on...
or so i tot..
but yet today aft the gig n all..
on the train home wen mi n fysh were juz listenin to our mp3s,
i startin tinkin bout her again..
its so easy to put sum1 outta ya mind wen you udn see em..
but yet wen you see tad person..
funny thoughts keep comin back.
oh wells.
nvm pls.:))
im content plus im FAVOURED.
the Lord'll take care of my ALL.:))
my ipod's got a new look.:)) check it out next time you're out wit mi.:))
i tink its darn good lookin.
cheaper den the 40bucks place in bishan,
cuz i got it fromn fookeat..
but its still not the whole covered thing..
i figure if the 40 bcusk place has sumthin tad covers the whole pod entirely,
den i'll still go get it done there.:))
my pod's like my grip on sanity now.:))
HAHAHA
tad's quite sad.
narhz.
its prob God pls.:))
not prob,definitely,
but God created music to make things easier.:))
YAY.:))
HAHAHAH
aight.
imma head to bed.
nite world.
hmmm.
1 word : AWESOME.
heh.
i realy thank God fer the gig pls.
and joey comin over to chat wit us before the gig.
cuz he did so,
wen the time came fer mi to share wit fysh,
i was stuck,
but he came n open up everythin.:))
and tad really helped.:))
sooner or later fysh's gonna convert RITE FYSH. ;) HAHAHAHAHA
but yup.:))
i thank God fer his choosin to have put joey at my table tonight.:))
Thanks JOEY.:))
hmm.
the band was awesome.
the sound was awesome,
fysh and i were singin to almuz every song belted out,
it was juz such a wonderful time of juz chillin out after sooooo darn long...
today signalled the end of my mid terms.
i frankly and quite afraid of the results.
i await em wit mountin trepidation.
i juz hope fer a COO.
as in like a base to work my way up upon?
but yet i feel its not likely.
sighz.
im not gonna gif myself too long a break.
gonna resume studyin tml.
living my life as a living sacrifice.
i juz wanna do right.
and if right fer now means i study,
i shall.
funny how wen i finally surrender,everythin seems soo much simpler...
on another note..
you know..
the pple you've liked before in ya past life?
and like even tho you've moved on..or so you tink..
sumhow lookin at the person suddenly makes you have this sense of longin...
i asked fer a sign not long ago..
bout a certain sum1,
and whether or not she'll remember my birthday.
and if she didnt,
its not God's will fer mi to wait fer her.
and she didnt remember,
and so i moved on.
i patched up wit old enemies,
made things straight and settled every single one of my interpersonal realationships..
and moved on...
or so i tot..
but yet today aft the gig n all..
on the train home wen mi n fysh were juz listenin to our mp3s,
i startin tinkin bout her again..
its so easy to put sum1 outta ya mind wen you udn see em..
but yet wen you see tad person..
funny thoughts keep comin back.
oh wells.
nvm pls.:))
im content plus im FAVOURED.
the Lord'll take care of my ALL.:))
my ipod's got a new look.:)) check it out next time you're out wit mi.:))
i tink its darn good lookin.
cheaper den the 40bucks place in bishan,
cuz i got it fromn fookeat..
but its still not the whole covered thing..
i figure if the 40 bcusk place has sumthin tad covers the whole pod entirely,
den i'll still go get it done there.:))
my pod's like my grip on sanity now.:))
HAHAHA
tad's quite sad.
narhz.
its prob God pls.:))
not prob,definitely,
but God created music to make things easier.:))
YAY.:))
HAHAHAH
aight.
imma head to bed.
nite world.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
the trauma's almuz over.
yay.
well.
the stupid exams are nearly over.
i dun feel much like bloggin about it.
its been really quite bad.
tad together wit the fact tad im really pissed at things now.
niweaz.
sumthin i wrote during the leftover time of the math exam.
which im technically not supposed to have if i know hota do every question.
pfft.
all hail boredom
the singaporean kid
born to study,
to fail is to die,
born into a lifestyle,
wit only 1 thought in mind.
indoctrinated to study,
muz get a degree,
den go into the workin world,
den can earn big money.
life's never fun,
its a competition,
you muz keep on fightin,
den you can always be in front.
you fall behind,
tad means you lose,
parents wunt even look at you,
tuition,tuition,
so they'll say,
tell mi how much you need,
we'll tryta find a way to pay.
ppor child wit other gifts,
likes sparts n arts and dancin feet,
you'll never get a chance to see how far you can go,
mindless education the gahmen'll drag you in tow.
you get pushed in so many ways,
your inner gift's never get a chance to play,
you'll earn big bucks being hollow within,
its cuz you've never knew the gifts you came here with.
into the mundane plave of hidden poverty,
where face matters more den common sensitivity,
whereyou cant let others look down on you,
stigmatised in everythin you do.
den you wonder wad's it all fer,
throw ya hands up,stomp on the florr,
madly tearin your hair out,your teeth you'll gnaw,
the answer's simple!you were bron in SINGAPORE!
the gahmen owns you,
you're this island scarce resource!
mindless educated robots,
we'll be shipped to various shores.
at the same time we import FTs,
whose ideas "help us change our ways"
the only diff btw is,
they had a chance to become who they be.
so the gahmen cries out fer creative minds,
this pple we so need to find,
to grow and nuture so we can see,
who our potential leaders mite be.
but to slove the prob,
the revamp the edu system,
till everyone comes like lookin like identical cisterns,
wit qualifications shinin so bright,
they still end up in menial positions cuz of no foresight.
is its tad hard to see?
or is it juz mi,
am i an errant,
infidelity?
hahah.
there's more.
but im too lazy to type alrea.
dam angsty now.
sighz.
bye alls.
well.
the stupid exams are nearly over.
i dun feel much like bloggin about it.
its been really quite bad.
tad together wit the fact tad im really pissed at things now.
niweaz.
sumthin i wrote during the leftover time of the math exam.
which im technically not supposed to have if i know hota do every question.
pfft.
all hail boredom
the singaporean kid
born to study,
to fail is to die,
born into a lifestyle,
wit only 1 thought in mind.
indoctrinated to study,
muz get a degree,
den go into the workin world,
den can earn big money.
life's never fun,
its a competition,
you muz keep on fightin,
den you can always be in front.
you fall behind,
tad means you lose,
parents wunt even look at you,
tuition,tuition,
so they'll say,
tell mi how much you need,
we'll tryta find a way to pay.
ppor child wit other gifts,
likes sparts n arts and dancin feet,
you'll never get a chance to see how far you can go,
mindless education the gahmen'll drag you in tow.
you get pushed in so many ways,
your inner gift's never get a chance to play,
you'll earn big bucks being hollow within,
its cuz you've never knew the gifts you came here with.
into the mundane plave of hidden poverty,
where face matters more den common sensitivity,
whereyou cant let others look down on you,
stigmatised in everythin you do.
den you wonder wad's it all fer,
throw ya hands up,stomp on the florr,
madly tearin your hair out,your teeth you'll gnaw,
the answer's simple!you were bron in SINGAPORE!
the gahmen owns you,
you're this island scarce resource!
mindless educated robots,
we'll be shipped to various shores.
at the same time we import FTs,
whose ideas "help us change our ways"
the only diff btw is,
they had a chance to become who they be.
so the gahmen cries out fer creative minds,
this pple we so need to find,
to grow and nuture so we can see,
who our potential leaders mite be.
but to slove the prob,
the revamp the edu system,
till everyone comes like lookin like identical cisterns,
wit qualifications shinin so bright,
they still end up in menial positions cuz of no foresight.
is its tad hard to see?
or is it juz mi,
am i an errant,
infidelity?
hahah.
there's more.
but im too lazy to type alrea.
dam angsty now.
sighz.
bye alls.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
its all been done..
sigh.
oh wellz.
the hols are drawin to a close.
i've done quite a bit of studyin i tink.
okie.
not a lot.
but at least 1 term worth of work.
hmm.
tad leaves mi with......5 more terms since the jc yr's bout 7 terms.
1st term work i can do la.
stupid chem bondin if i cant do i kill myself.
sighz.
im still not prepared nuf.
i feel stupid.
sighz.
i look at fysh.
happily wowwin away,
copin wit jc life pretty well.
sumhow there's a gap between us comin i guess...
dunno whether its juz wow or wad..
but yup..havent been talkin much..
life's juz different now.
the consequences of our actions never seem so vast till you make the decision n find yaself face to face wit the consequences.
i miss times hangin out wit fysh.
i miss the times we used to zaoz school n go chill out.
i miss my sec 4 bros who hung out in school everyday juz to play bball,
who used to go to school,sleep every period,den wake up durin recess to play bball,den sleep the rest of the periods,den play ball durin lunch.
who were dere wen i went thru one of the muz impactful female pursuits tad till tis day still leave a mark and helped mi.
i can still recall there was this period of time i was goin after this gal.
whose bus to school mi and tim used to ride in hope juz so i could get a glimpse of her every morn.
i was in class msgin her.
which is taboo la.
WAS maybe.
dunno if mshs allows hp in school now.
but ack then they didnt.
and even if they do now,im pretty sure you wunt be allowed to msg in class.
ANYWAY,
i was msgin her durin chem.
and im the back row dude la.
you can guess pls.
niwae.
i was in the back,
leanin back,then the bros were all like peepin over n givin mi the "wad she say" look.
and i was like usin the facial communication method tad exists only between pple who see each other everyday fer a freally long time n have a special bond.
i call it telepathy brain wave leakage.
niwaez.
through my facial expressions,
my teacher was like" you need to shit isit?"
and i was like"huh!no la no la..."
den he continued...
then as lesson progressed...
he excused himself,"supposedly to go toilet.."
den outta sudden.
from NO WHERE.
he came from the back door,whilst i was typin a msg to here,and like all the guys were leanin in offerin their two cents worth on wad could i say to show a lil of who i am and still impress her.
den he was like"WHO YOU MSGIN.IN MY CLASS SUMMORE."
mind you,juz to put in perspective.he was the teacher tad threw my bro's bag,his table and chair from the 5 storey of the school buildin into the courtyard witout a second look.
imagine bein in a class,lookin out ya window,den you see a bag,then a table,den a chair flyin down in really quick succession.
yeahz.
i was dam scared.
den i decided to take a risk n tell him bout the gal.
and suddenly his WHOLE face changed.
den he started askin mi to tell him the whole thing and offered his two cents worth too.:))
HAHAHAH
in the end all the msges i sent were all still 100% my own.
stupid clowns couldnt gid mi anithin useful.
but i still miss those relaxed studyin ambience pls.:))
those were really goood times.:))
miss em sooo bad...
miss bein able to score As witouts studyin...
sighz..
i dunno pls.
but i digress really badly.
its been a really weird hols..
i really miss alot of things..
juz wish i could turn time back n live my past life again n enjoy the joys i use to enjoy witout fear of exams...
on my birthday even as i was out having fun..everytime i came off a ride,i started tinkin bout the papers again.
n tad juz sucks the life outta you pls.
i want my A's to be over,
my NS to be enlisted next april.
tad's all i want.
sighz.
oh wellz.
the hols are drawin to a close.
i've done quite a bit of studyin i tink.
okie.
not a lot.
but at least 1 term worth of work.
hmm.
tad leaves mi with......5 more terms since the jc yr's bout 7 terms.
1st term work i can do la.
stupid chem bondin if i cant do i kill myself.
sighz.
im still not prepared nuf.
i feel stupid.
sighz.
i look at fysh.
happily wowwin away,
copin wit jc life pretty well.
sumhow there's a gap between us comin i guess...
dunno whether its juz wow or wad..
but yup..havent been talkin much..
life's juz different now.
the consequences of our actions never seem so vast till you make the decision n find yaself face to face wit the consequences.
i miss times hangin out wit fysh.
i miss the times we used to zaoz school n go chill out.
i miss my sec 4 bros who hung out in school everyday juz to play bball,
who used to go to school,sleep every period,den wake up durin recess to play bball,den sleep the rest of the periods,den play ball durin lunch.
who were dere wen i went thru one of the muz impactful female pursuits tad till tis day still leave a mark and helped mi.
i can still recall there was this period of time i was goin after this gal.
whose bus to school mi and tim used to ride in hope juz so i could get a glimpse of her every morn.
i was in class msgin her.
which is taboo la.
WAS maybe.
dunno if mshs allows hp in school now.
but ack then they didnt.
and even if they do now,im pretty sure you wunt be allowed to msg in class.
ANYWAY,
i was msgin her durin chem.
and im the back row dude la.
you can guess pls.
niwae.
i was in the back,
leanin back,then the bros were all like peepin over n givin mi the "wad she say" look.
and i was like usin the facial communication method tad exists only between pple who see each other everyday fer a freally long time n have a special bond.
i call it telepathy brain wave leakage.
niwaez.
through my facial expressions,
my teacher was like" you need to shit isit?"
and i was like"huh!no la no la..."
den he continued...
then as lesson progressed...
he excused himself,"supposedly to go toilet.."
den outta sudden.
from NO WHERE.
he came from the back door,whilst i was typin a msg to here,and like all the guys were leanin in offerin their two cents worth on wad could i say to show a lil of who i am and still impress her.
den he was like"WHO YOU MSGIN.IN MY CLASS SUMMORE."
mind you,juz to put in perspective.he was the teacher tad threw my bro's bag,his table and chair from the 5 storey of the school buildin into the courtyard witout a second look.
imagine bein in a class,lookin out ya window,den you see a bag,then a table,den a chair flyin down in really quick succession.
yeahz.
i was dam scared.
den i decided to take a risk n tell him bout the gal.
and suddenly his WHOLE face changed.
den he started askin mi to tell him the whole thing and offered his two cents worth too.:))
HAHAHAH
in the end all the msges i sent were all still 100% my own.
stupid clowns couldnt gid mi anithin useful.
but i still miss those relaxed studyin ambience pls.:))
those were really goood times.:))
miss em sooo bad...
miss bein able to score As witouts studyin...
sighz..
i dunno pls.
but i digress really badly.
its been a really weird hols..
i really miss alot of things..
juz wish i could turn time back n live my past life again n enjoy the joys i use to enjoy witout fear of exams...
on my birthday even as i was out having fun..everytime i came off a ride,i started tinkin bout the papers again.
n tad juz sucks the life outta you pls.
i want my A's to be over,
my NS to be enlisted next april.
tad's all i want.
sighz.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
happy birthday to me.:))
heh.
imma 19 pls ya'll.:))
im happily old.:)) hhahaha.
sighz.
you'll never believe wad chapter of the 40 days book as i term it lesson was.
"we are part of a community"
i.e:no man is an island.
tor peng.
i knew sure got sumthin special on my birthday.
zhun zhun.
the same msg tad sista becky's been wantin to impale within my brain cells.
my goodness pls....:@
how angsty.
hahahah.
niwaez.
today was pretty fun.
i woke up really early and made my way to escape to join a fren who was having a chalet.:))
met up,den introed myself to the frens,
who were really REALLY nice.
and frenly.
and den we went escape to play.
lemme tell you bout escape.
it is awesome.:))
if you've never had ya heart in ya mouth and dropppin out before.
go escape.
you'll freak.
and the haunted house too.
i went in wantin to be macho man but ended up screamin once.
hahahaha.:))
dam good shat.
and the rides are dam fun too.:))
really.
i've never screamed nor laffed so much fer such a long time tad my mouth ached.
its such a welcome sensation tad i tot i had lost ferever.
sighz.
oh wellz.
niwaez.
to sum it up,
t'was probably the best birthday ive had in yrs.:))
and tad's no joke.
i've had shabby birthdays the past few yrs.:))
today was awesome.
and the saddest part of it all was tad it happened wit a buncha stragers but ended wit mi makin loadsa new frens and having an awesome time.:))
great stuff pls.:))
im loving it.:))
niweaz.
tis was a pic of mi taken whilst i was playin pool.:))
i like the glowin lightbulbs things.:))
wishes granted:
study bible.:)) YAY!!!!!MUMMY N JIE BOUGHT IT FER MI.:))
other presents got:
swimtrunks.:)) NOW I DARE TO GO OUT SWIM WIT FRENS AGAIN.
no more days of wearin the same swimmin custume i've worn since sec 1 till now.
and i've grown alot mind you.:))
boxers!!!:)) from zara.:))
YAY.im runnin outta em aniway.
:))
keep tearin em by accident cuz i keep playin bball in em.
shucks.
pencil case.:)) those of you who've seen the pencil case i use,
its my sista's old one.:))
i've got a new MAMBO PENCIL CASE.
YAY!!!!!:)
heh.
cookies.:)) from angela n jamie.:))
yum yum.:))
yup.
tad bout sums up everythin.:))
thanks to the fren tad invited mi over.
im not puttin the name cuz it makes things really awkward cuz of the other pple tad could've been invited but werent.
thanks to my mummy n jie jie n ernest fer makin me a lovely card.:))
PAIN STICKIN EFFORt.
i love my bro man.
praise the Lord fer He is good.:)) nite all.:))
tml muz mug again liaoz..
imma 19 pls ya'll.:))
im happily old.:)) hhahaha.
sighz.
you'll never believe wad chapter of the 40 days book as i term it lesson was.
"we are part of a community"
i.e:no man is an island.
tor peng.
i knew sure got sumthin special on my birthday.
zhun zhun.
the same msg tad sista becky's been wantin to impale within my brain cells.
my goodness pls....:@
how angsty.
hahahah.
niwaez.
today was pretty fun.
i woke up really early and made my way to escape to join a fren who was having a chalet.:))
met up,den introed myself to the frens,
who were really REALLY nice.
and frenly.
and den we went escape to play.
lemme tell you bout escape.
it is awesome.:))
if you've never had ya heart in ya mouth and dropppin out before.
go escape.
you'll freak.
and the haunted house too.
i went in wantin to be macho man but ended up screamin once.
hahahaha.:))
dam good shat.
and the rides are dam fun too.:))
really.
i've never screamed nor laffed so much fer such a long time tad my mouth ached.
its such a welcome sensation tad i tot i had lost ferever.
sighz.
oh wellz.
niwaez.
to sum it up,
t'was probably the best birthday ive had in yrs.:))
and tad's no joke.
i've had shabby birthdays the past few yrs.:))
today was awesome.
and the saddest part of it all was tad it happened wit a buncha stragers but ended wit mi makin loadsa new frens and having an awesome time.:))
great stuff pls.:))
im loving it.:))
niweaz.
tis was a pic of mi taken whilst i was playin pool.:))
i like the glowin lightbulbs things.:))
wishes granted:
study bible.:)) YAY!!!!!MUMMY N JIE BOUGHT IT FER MI.:))
other presents got:
swimtrunks.:)) NOW I DARE TO GO OUT SWIM WIT FRENS AGAIN.
no more days of wearin the same swimmin custume i've worn since sec 1 till now.
and i've grown alot mind you.:))
boxers!!!:)) from zara.:))
YAY.im runnin outta em aniway.
:))
keep tearin em by accident cuz i keep playin bball in em.
shucks.
pencil case.:)) those of you who've seen the pencil case i use,
its my sista's old one.:))
i've got a new MAMBO PENCIL CASE.
YAY!!!!!:)
heh.
cookies.:)) from angela n jamie.:))
yum yum.:))
yup.
tad bout sums up everythin.:))
thanks to the fren tad invited mi over.
im not puttin the name cuz it makes things really awkward cuz of the other pple tad could've been invited but werent.
thanks to my mummy n jie jie n ernest fer makin me a lovely card.:))
PAIN STICKIN EFFORt.
i love my bro man.
praise the Lord fer He is good.:)) nite all.:))
tml muz mug again liaoz..
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
in my depression over my uselessness in serving in the band.
i turned to lookin to see if my violin could be a source where i could be required.
and here is my new aim fer the end of the yr.
forget the acoustic la.
sighz.
there're loads more guitarists.
all better n richer den mi.
but violinist.
hmm.
now there's a real rare one.
check this baby out niwae.
i shall aim to get it after my exams n start prac fully.
i turned to lookin to see if my violin could be a source where i could be required.
and here is my new aim fer the end of the yr.
forget the acoustic la.
sighz.
there're loads more guitarists.
all better n richer den mi.
but violinist.
hmm.
now there's a real rare one.
check this baby out niwae.
i shall aim to get it after my exams n start prac fully.
sigh.
in my depression over my uselessness in serving in the band.
i turned to lookin to see if my violin could be a source where i could be required.
and here is my new aim fer the end of the yr.
forget the acoustic la.
sighz.
there're loads more guitarists.
all better n richer den mi.
but violinist.
hmm.
now there's a real rare one.
check this baby out niwae.
i shall aim to get it after my exams n start prac fully.
![]()
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i turned to lookin to see if my violin could be a source where i could be required.
and here is my new aim fer the end of the yr.
forget the acoustic la.
sighz.
there're loads more guitarists.
all better n richer den mi.
but violinist.
hmm.
now there's a real rare one.
check this baby out niwae.
i shall aim to get it after my exams n start prac fully.
">
more wishes.
hmmm.
wad more could i wish fer.
more realistic stuff i guess..
i wish fer....
1)a set of ipod socks...
2)a ipod skin..from the place at junction 8 tad ive been hearin about..
3)nokia 6230 i
why?
it has a camera.
its funky lookin yet stylish.
and i wanna stop havin bok kai ring tones.:@
and since i dun have gprs enabled,
i need bluetooth.
4)a bike.
fer nite cycling.
nuf said.
sighz.
ya know.
i really feel useless at times..
i went fer e gig briefing juz now.
and i watched the band perform.
and there was this hollowness within i KNEW i shouldnt have.
but yet.
i couldnt help feelin tad i should be up there.
serving.
and den again.
i looked at wad i had to offer.
i've got a voice tad aint anithin spectacular,
my guti skills pale in comparison wit liang,dan,ricky,
my piano's outta point,
i cant drum all tad well.
and i aint got anithin to bring to the table tad they dun already have.
i can blame the pastors.
why look any further wen there's a better one infront of you.
it doesnt make sense.
but yet.
i feel so wholy inadequate.
and tad juz sucks.
im gettin depressed again.
its gonna be a sucky 19 birthday.
48 more hours.
sighz.
less actually.
sighz.
wad have i done to deserve such a joyless life.
i havent achieved much.
im not anithin special.
i'm juz your average guy next door.
not really good lookin but thank God im not fugly.
i aint got a good figure.
i cant drive.
i havent done much wit my life.
i aint got much experiences tad pple respect mi fer overcomin.
or maybe i dun gif myself nuf credit.
who knows?
sighz.
this sucks.
i need a life.
wad more could i wish fer.
more realistic stuff i guess..
i wish fer....
1)a set of ipod socks...
2)a ipod skin..from the place at junction 8 tad ive been hearin about..
3)nokia 6230 i
why?
it has a camera.
its funky lookin yet stylish.
and i wanna stop havin bok kai ring tones.:@
and since i dun have gprs enabled,
i need bluetooth.
4)a bike.
fer nite cycling.
nuf said.
sighz.
ya know.
i really feel useless at times..
i went fer e gig briefing juz now.
and i watched the band perform.
and there was this hollowness within i KNEW i shouldnt have.
but yet.
i couldnt help feelin tad i should be up there.
serving.
and den again.
i looked at wad i had to offer.
i've got a voice tad aint anithin spectacular,
my guti skills pale in comparison wit liang,dan,ricky,
my piano's outta point,
i cant drum all tad well.
and i aint got anithin to bring to the table tad they dun already have.
i can blame the pastors.
why look any further wen there's a better one infront of you.
it doesnt make sense.
but yet.
i feel so wholy inadequate.
and tad juz sucks.
im gettin depressed again.
its gonna be a sucky 19 birthday.
48 more hours.
sighz.
less actually.
sighz.
wad have i done to deserve such a joyless life.
i havent achieved much.
im not anithin special.
i'm juz your average guy next door.
not really good lookin but thank God im not fugly.
i aint got a good figure.
i cant drive.
i havent done much wit my life.
i aint got much experiences tad pple respect mi fer overcomin.
or maybe i dun gif myself nuf credit.
who knows?
sighz.
this sucks.
i need a life.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
my birthday list.
hmmm.
well.
its tad time of the yr again.
its my birthday.
hmm.
and since i realise loadsa pple haf birthday wish lists,
i shall create one fer myself.
but then again.
its pretty pointless cuz imma guy.
and guys juz wanna have toys.
and guys thoys are really expensive.
hmm.
i shall rank em in terms of how expensive they are i guess.
from the cheapest to the muz expensive.
1)a digital camera.preferable an exilim.
which is currently sellin fer $600 bucks cuza the great singapore sale.
i wanna be able to take pics of my and my frens.
im sick and tired of takin photos,
den realising "HEY,its not my camera,i've gotta go wait fer the person to send mi"
which doesnt really happen cuz
no. 1,pple've got better stuff to do den go thru all the photos they have in their albums juz to send insignificant ben one lil photo.
no.2,eh....send how?via snail mail isit?cuz even if i do get a com,which is highly RARE,i cant do much except see em fer a while eh?
2)$900.to build myself a computer.
cuz i dun have one.
simple.
so i can downld my kinda songs n use my ipod they way i want to.
insteada of goin arnd like a beggar askin fer songs,
i can have an ipod where i've got 3000 plus songs all tad i love.
and enjoy.
tad's wad i wish fer.
its like the ultimate.
i wunt hafta rely on my mood swingish dad,
or my sista's sumtimes can sumtimes kenot cuz she's got studyin stuff to get songs on my ipod.
i can join fysh in the WOW.
i can communicate wit more pple.
need i expound further?
3)i wish to have a study bible.
ironically.
this is the cheapest but yet the muz priceless.
cuz its an object tad has value beyond wad the world can offer.
so yup.:)) a nice study bible would help mi grow a long way in the Lord.
4)i wish fer sum1 to open up to mi.
if this person even remembers my birthday i'll be surprised.
but yup.
one can hope.
but i haf decided tad if this person doesnt?
i shall have a really drastic change of heart.
cuz all this time,ive been tinkin of her as God's choosen gal tad i 'll prob get in the future.
but yup,it came upon mi one day tad it mite be tad interpretin things wrong.
and maybe vestin my emotions in a misguided ideal's not exactly the wisdom the Lord would wish upon mi.
5)i wish to encounter the Lord and be full of praise fer him.
self explained.
more as i can tink of em i guess.:))
see ya'll.
i shall go shower and den go sleep.
my family's comin back tml nite.
:))
i miss em.
imma be preparing dinner.
its been a really interestin week.
of all the things i had planned,
in the end,
fysh didnt stay over,
i didnt go club at all,(which im pretty proud of)
no wild parties thrown.
which many pple feared.
hahaha.
highly amusing.
sumhow i turned down everythin.
weird.
oh wells.
the Lord works in mysterious ways i guess.
im gone fer now.
meanwhile.
the Lord bless n keep you.
cheap entertainment.
well.
its tad time of the yr again.
its my birthday.
hmm.
and since i realise loadsa pple haf birthday wish lists,
i shall create one fer myself.
but then again.
its pretty pointless cuz imma guy.
and guys juz wanna have toys.
and guys thoys are really expensive.
hmm.
i shall rank em in terms of how expensive they are i guess.
from the cheapest to the muz expensive.
1)a digital camera.preferable an exilim.
which is currently sellin fer $600 bucks cuza the great singapore sale.
i wanna be able to take pics of my and my frens.
im sick and tired of takin photos,
den realising "HEY,its not my camera,i've gotta go wait fer the person to send mi"
which doesnt really happen cuz
no. 1,pple've got better stuff to do den go thru all the photos they have in their albums juz to send insignificant ben one lil photo.
no.2,eh....send how?via snail mail isit?cuz even if i do get a com,which is highly RARE,i cant do much except see em fer a while eh?
2)$900.to build myself a computer.
cuz i dun have one.
simple.
so i can downld my kinda songs n use my ipod they way i want to.
insteada of goin arnd like a beggar askin fer songs,
i can have an ipod where i've got 3000 plus songs all tad i love.
and enjoy.
tad's wad i wish fer.
its like the ultimate.
i wunt hafta rely on my mood swingish dad,
or my sista's sumtimes can sumtimes kenot cuz she's got studyin stuff to get songs on my ipod.
i can join fysh in the WOW.
i can communicate wit more pple.
need i expound further?
3)i wish to have a study bible.
ironically.
this is the cheapest but yet the muz priceless.
cuz its an object tad has value beyond wad the world can offer.
so yup.:)) a nice study bible would help mi grow a long way in the Lord.
4)i wish fer sum1 to open up to mi.
if this person even remembers my birthday i'll be surprised.
but yup.
one can hope.
but i haf decided tad if this person doesnt?
i shall have a really drastic change of heart.
cuz all this time,ive been tinkin of her as God's choosen gal tad i 'll prob get in the future.
but yup,it came upon mi one day tad it mite be tad interpretin things wrong.
and maybe vestin my emotions in a misguided ideal's not exactly the wisdom the Lord would wish upon mi.
5)i wish to encounter the Lord and be full of praise fer him.
self explained.
more as i can tink of em i guess.:))
see ya'll.
i shall go shower and den go sleep.
my family's comin back tml nite.
:))
i miss em.
imma be preparing dinner.
its been a really interestin week.
of all the things i had planned,
in the end,
fysh didnt stay over,
i didnt go club at all,(which im pretty proud of)
no wild parties thrown.
which many pple feared.
hahaha.
highly amusing.
sumhow i turned down everythin.
weird.
oh wells.
the Lord works in mysterious ways i guess.
im gone fer now.
meanwhile.
the Lord bless n keep you.
cheap entertainment.
| Your Sexy Brazilian Name Is |
| Your Birthdate: June 23 |
| With a birthday on the 23rd of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility. Very sociable, you make friends easily and you are an excellent traveling companion. |
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
The True You |
| You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed. |
| With respect to money, you save for a rainy day. |
| You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities. |
| The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you. |
| You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. |
| When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends. |
Thursday, June 16, 2005
..
The Keys to Your Heart |
| You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
| In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
| You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
| You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. |
| Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. |
| Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
| You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
| In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
as timee goes on...
hmmm.
life's simpler now.
i tink i've changed quite a bit during these few days.
its juz saddenin.
i've never had such an experience where i've had to fend fer myself fer so long witout no close help.
and i realise that there's still so much fer me to master before i can go live away from my family,
go away to study and all.
fer one..
i spent the 1st few days bein totally unproductive.
why?
no one pushed mi.
and i realised that if no one pushed mi,i dun do shat.
but i started to get freaked out cuz the dates keep marchin on and like i dun wanna fail ALL my subjects again.
so i started to mug.
ok.
not mug,
but at least i began to study.
its really scary living alone.
there's really no one to watch you.
you realise the duty to keep everythin orderly is yours alone.
and fer once,my life was really in my control.
and after doin a couple of rebellious acts.
i began to realise how silly it was.
basically.
i turned out to be rebellin against myself.
so im kinda happy.
i tink ive learnt alot in these few days.
readin the purpose driven life has also changed a bit of my perspective on life..
is really my lil existence here important?
i highly doubt so.
instead of worryin bout how my future's gonna go.
how bout i start worryin bout wad i can do wit my life at present?
and how best to represent Him.
ther'll always be "another person askin you out"
there'll always be tad sum1 tad doesnt like you.
always sumthin you wish you could do.
but in the long run..
does it really matter??
sighz.
i really dunno.
readin the book's givin mi loads to contemplate about.
i shall finish all 40 days of it and give my words then.
meanwhile.
pray fer mi studyin to work out yeah??:)
thanks ya'w.
life's simpler now.
i tink i've changed quite a bit during these few days.
its juz saddenin.
i've never had such an experience where i've had to fend fer myself fer so long witout no close help.
and i realise that there's still so much fer me to master before i can go live away from my family,
go away to study and all.
fer one..
i spent the 1st few days bein totally unproductive.
why?
no one pushed mi.
and i realised that if no one pushed mi,i dun do shat.
but i started to get freaked out cuz the dates keep marchin on and like i dun wanna fail ALL my subjects again.
so i started to mug.
ok.
not mug,
but at least i began to study.
its really scary living alone.
there's really no one to watch you.
you realise the duty to keep everythin orderly is yours alone.
and fer once,my life was really in my control.
and after doin a couple of rebellious acts.
i began to realise how silly it was.
basically.
i turned out to be rebellin against myself.
so im kinda happy.
i tink ive learnt alot in these few days.
readin the purpose driven life has also changed a bit of my perspective on life..
is really my lil existence here important?
i highly doubt so.
instead of worryin bout how my future's gonna go.
how bout i start worryin bout wad i can do wit my life at present?
and how best to represent Him.
ther'll always be "another person askin you out"
there'll always be tad sum1 tad doesnt like you.
always sumthin you wish you could do.
but in the long run..
does it really matter??
sighz.
i really dunno.
readin the book's givin mi loads to contemplate about.
i shall finish all 40 days of it and give my words then.
meanwhile.
pray fer mi studyin to work out yeah??:)
thanks ya'w.
Monday, June 13, 2005
be careful wad you wish for.
its really ridiculous.
you ask yaself wad you've been wishin fer soo long and i bet you'll be like "i'll love it if i had this,had that,if my life was this way,if i had no parents to keep buggin mi"
well.
i got my wish.
n im regrettin it.
its been barely a day since they've left mi home alone..
n being alone at home sucks.
really.
it gets really old,REALLY QUICKLY.
sighz.
cookin fer yaself.
really funky.
cookin fer yaself 2nd time in a empty silent house.
funky.
cookin the 4 and fifth meals fer yaself ina really TOTALLY QUIET HOUSE juz sucks.
living by yaself sucks.
no wonder i've heard loadsa stuuf bout how all the singles wit homes dun realy spend much time in aniway.
its juz too darn quiet n you WILL feel dam lonely.
no kddin.
the knowledge that there's ABSOLUTELY NOBODY HOME FER YOU SUCKS.
im lonely.
i really regret not goin up fer retreat now.
but still.
i hafta keep to my word as a growin dude.
thus,its back to studyin i go.
tata.
you ask yaself wad you've been wishin fer soo long and i bet you'll be like "i'll love it if i had this,had that,if my life was this way,if i had no parents to keep buggin mi"
well.
i got my wish.
n im regrettin it.
its been barely a day since they've left mi home alone..
n being alone at home sucks.
really.
it gets really old,REALLY QUICKLY.
sighz.
cookin fer yaself.
really funky.
cookin fer yaself 2nd time in a empty silent house.
funky.
cookin the 4 and fifth meals fer yaself ina really TOTALLY QUIET HOUSE juz sucks.
living by yaself sucks.
no wonder i've heard loadsa stuuf bout how all the singles wit homes dun realy spend much time in aniway.
its juz too darn quiet n you WILL feel dam lonely.
no kddin.
the knowledge that there's ABSOLUTELY NOBODY HOME FER YOU SUCKS.
im lonely.
i really regret not goin up fer retreat now.
but still.
i hafta keep to my word as a growin dude.
thus,its back to studyin i go.
tata.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
honesty or fallacy.
hmm.
you know.
you've really gotta wonder what you do wit your life wit regularity.
like honestly.
juz stop,take a coupla days off,check yaself n see which way your goin..
i swear its a singaporean custom to juz keep goin in whatever direction at max spped witout even know where in the world they're headin..
i feel a lot better since last fri..
maybe its cuz my dad's away,
maybe its cuz of the new resolutions ive made..
the rules ive set for myself to make sure i improve in my christian walk despite not goin fer camp and all..
comin clean about past mistakes n faults..
tryin to live like a christian again..
watchin every step i take fer i know im accountable to one above..
plus the 40 day improvement thing my church doin..
sumhow i juz feel at peace now..
as in really a t peace..
no more angst..no more frsutration..
i realise when you hide certain things you do..
it juz eats you up inside..
n you're only truly set free wen you've confessed it out to someone..
i find it kewl la.
it juz makes you tink alot in a sense..
hmmm.but suffice to say..
twas a really changin weekend fer mi...
from the pinnacle of angst to being so quiet's sumtin tad doesnt come easily..
*shrugs*
all credit to Him i guess.
niwaez..
yest was pretty fun for mi..
hmm..
narhz..
not fun..
i would say enjoyable..
after the STUPID PHYSICS test,
went to meet maise to prac fer skit on sunday..
really short skit..
ran thru it a coupla times and then we juz relaxed i guess..
at least i did..
hahha..
i managed to kap like bout 900 plus songs from their com..(their bein maisie n joey's)
so YAY!.
broken the 2K barrier..
but i still gotta sift out al those good songs n all..
hahahah.
sianz.i've got like my notebook wit mi so loong as the pod's plain..
then ani song's tad's too noisy fer mi i shall delete once i can..
den once again i neednt worry bout hearin funny noisy songs wen i put it on random play mode.
YAY.
i juz found yest supremely calmin n relaxing..
tad DESPITE knowledge tad i had a chem test today..
which i after leavin her house came back to school to continue studyin..
*shrugs*
yeah.i did..all ya'll wit the jaws open agape can no shut your traps..
i already said..
it was a queer weekend.
hurrhur.
i needta find pple tad i can chill out wit..
maise's one,
fysh's another.
tim n josh..
dudley..
all wonderful buddies of mine..:)
but really..
time n distance even tho we live in such a small city makes fer hard bondin space..
oh well..
its singapore i guess..
i shall go back to stuyin now den..
bye alz.
you know.
you've really gotta wonder what you do wit your life wit regularity.
like honestly.
juz stop,take a coupla days off,check yaself n see which way your goin..
i swear its a singaporean custom to juz keep goin in whatever direction at max spped witout even know where in the world they're headin..
i feel a lot better since last fri..
maybe its cuz my dad's away,
maybe its cuz of the new resolutions ive made..
the rules ive set for myself to make sure i improve in my christian walk despite not goin fer camp and all..
comin clean about past mistakes n faults..
tryin to live like a christian again..
watchin every step i take fer i know im accountable to one above..
plus the 40 day improvement thing my church doin..
sumhow i juz feel at peace now..
as in really a t peace..
no more angst..no more frsutration..
i realise when you hide certain things you do..
it juz eats you up inside..
n you're only truly set free wen you've confessed it out to someone..
i find it kewl la.
it juz makes you tink alot in a sense..
hmmm.but suffice to say..
twas a really changin weekend fer mi...
from the pinnacle of angst to being so quiet's sumtin tad doesnt come easily..
*shrugs*
all credit to Him i guess.
niwaez..
yest was pretty fun for mi..
hmm..
narhz..
not fun..
i would say enjoyable..
after the STUPID PHYSICS test,
went to meet maise to prac fer skit on sunday..
really short skit..
ran thru it a coupla times and then we juz relaxed i guess..
at least i did..
hahha..
i managed to kap like bout 900 plus songs from their com..(their bein maisie n joey's)
so YAY!.
broken the 2K barrier..
but i still gotta sift out al those good songs n all..
hahahah.
sianz.i've got like my notebook wit mi so loong as the pod's plain..
then ani song's tad's too noisy fer mi i shall delete once i can..
den once again i neednt worry bout hearin funny noisy songs wen i put it on random play mode.
YAY.
i juz found yest supremely calmin n relaxing..
tad DESPITE knowledge tad i had a chem test today..
which i after leavin her house came back to school to continue studyin..
*shrugs*
yeah.i did..all ya'll wit the jaws open agape can no shut your traps..
i already said..
it was a queer weekend.
hurrhur.
i needta find pple tad i can chill out wit..
maise's one,
fysh's another.
tim n josh..
dudley..
all wonderful buddies of mine..:)
but really..
time n distance even tho we live in such a small city makes fer hard bondin space..
oh well..
its singapore i guess..
i shall go back to stuyin now den..
bye alz.
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