as timee goes on...

hmmm.
life's simpler now.
i tink i've changed quite a bit during these few days.
its juz saddenin.
i've never had such an experience where i've had to fend fer myself fer so long witout no close help.
and i realise that there's still so much fer me to master before i can go live away from my family,
go away to study and all.
fer one..
i spent the 1st few days bein totally unproductive.
why?
no one pushed mi.
and i realised that if no one pushed mi,i dun do shat.
but i started to get freaked out cuz the dates keep marchin on and like i dun wanna fail ALL my subjects again.
so i started to mug.
ok.
not mug,
but at least i began to study.
its really scary living alone.
there's really no one to watch you.
you realise the duty to keep everythin orderly is yours alone.
and fer once,my life was really in my control.
and after doin a couple of rebellious acts.
i began to realise how silly it was.
basically.
i turned out to be rebellin against myself.
so im kinda happy.
i tink ive learnt alot in these few days.

readin the purpose driven life has also changed a bit of my perspective on life..
is really my lil existence here important?
i highly doubt so.
instead of worryin bout how my future's gonna go.
how bout i start worryin bout wad i can do wit my life at present?
and how best to represent Him.
ther'll always be "another person askin you out"
there'll always be tad sum1 tad doesnt like you.
always sumthin you wish you could do.
but in the long run..
does it really matter??
sighz.
i really dunno.
readin the book's givin mi loads to contemplate about.
i shall finish all 40 days of it and give my words then.
meanwhile.
pray fer mi studyin to work out yeah??:)
thanks ya'w.