the money entry.

sighz.
those of you who have no wish to see materialistic thoughts pls not bother readin this entry.
like honestly.
we're really shallow pple after all.
n i hafta say,
being a singaporean makes us even shallower.
1st.
let mi gripe,bitch,moan,whine whichever word you prefer.

money.
my goodness.
bein rich entitles you to so much.
or maybe juz bein in america entitles you to tad much.
i have a fren.
this ultimate being of gorgeousness tad juz about sums up my dream gal cept fer her bad habits.
my bros oughta have heard this name before.
ashley chay baoyi.
back in sec three,
whilst i was goin fer a math tuition,
i met her,
this lil dopey boy i was back then,
this really hyper,cheerful cute lil babe from rgs.
fer sum reason i was always sulkin durin math tuition cuz i hated it,
so i didnt really know why she came up to talk to mi in the 1st place.
it was kinda funny n flatterin at the same time i guess.
we could've been sumthin i guess,
if i hadta been such a ignorant n slack dumbass.
yesh.
hear the regret in my voice.
anyway,
after tad yr,
she left to go to the american school in shanghai,cuz her dad was posted there.
bout 6 months later,
she came back to singapore to visit her extended family,
was here fer juz bout 3 short days.
one day was spent with her family,
another with the cousins,
the other day she asked mi out.
we went to holland v,ate sum jap noodles,went to starbucks n sat down n chatted bout how we both wanted our lives to turn out to be.
she had the priviledge of enterin the us education system which fer one,i have always envied.
so she was tellin mi the stuff she wanted done,
she listened to all my dreams.
and before she left,
she gave mi a hug(my 1st hug from a gal mind you.)and promised to call mi out the next time she came back.
and as things progressed,
i lost my computer due to parental control shat,
we dropped outta touch..
and yup..
that call never came.
the next time she came back was about 2 yrs aft tad meetin we had.
and she'd changed a lot i guess.
aniwae,
how do i know all this?
well.
she was online juz now.
and graces upon all graces,
she remembered who i was and we chatted fer a while.
lemme tell you where she is now.
she's my age.
and she's in the UPenn.
tell mi bout accomplishments,street skills,everythins,
she leaps and bounds ahead of everyone i can name tad i know of at my age.
in other words,
she's juz about the average US kiddo wit prob higher grades cuz she's always been really hardworkin.
but wen i read her blog(which she juz gave mi the address again,once again cuza my lousy ass com)juz now,
i hafta tell you.
i felt so much envy and regret n surprisingly,a whole loada disrespect n hate fer singapore's education system,our asian culture and all.
the tone on the blog is that of sum1 who's seen the world,
at my age,
she's gone on trips all over the world,
once again wit money much is possible,
seen a whole load more of the diff levels of society,
such a mature n world wizened tone pls.
and i cant help feelin envious of that.
i feel regret tad i never bother actually lookin her up,
payin more attention to her in tad period of time where she was ina sense,now wen i look back,hittin on mi.
the singaporean education system,i've bithced about a whole shatload of times alr,
i shall not bother anymore.
but hate was a total surprise on my part.
i actually felt anger at my placement in this place where i am rite now.
i know God has his purpose for mi here and now,
but even still.
it really sucks pls.
seein how she's moved on in her life made me so angsty of the restrictions set by my parents,
by the culture tad impedes mi.
basically everythin rite now.
and i realise tad alot of it hasta do with a 5 letter asset.
its called the $.
i have nuttin much to say tad we're all so dam ass shallow sumtimes n tad i tink its imperative tad we all go out to see the world.
as a result of this experience tad i have juz undergone,
i haf decided to leave everythin behind.
allowance shall be saved,my pitiful ns pay shall be saved.
im goin overseas to studies.
if i make it in a uni here i'll stud here 1st.
but at the same timee i'll gif tuition,go overseas n study in the end.
im not gonna be sum lameass narrowminded singaporean trapped by my own melodramaticism.
i've got 1 short term target.
australia fer this november.
anyone has any sec/pri school tuition ya can recommend,pls do?
i need the extra cash.
i wanna go overseas n widen my perspective.
i dun wanna look at myself n find myself comin up short in the world.
sighz.
i shall gripe more about it another time pls.
im juz really feelin down now pls.
it really REALLY sucks to see myself against this one person tad i had found myself to be of the same intellectual sense can be soo far ahead of mi.
plus my 2 lousy ass yrs in NS.
she'll have gotten her degree by the time im out,
n prob doin even more whilst i hafta start at the bottom rug.
and im a bLOODY RETAINEE.
like how degradin is tad pls.
i feel like crap now.
my self esteem is prob at a all time low now.
and i've got no one to blame but myself n my folly pls.
and it sucks.
i've gotta start makin sumthin work fer myself.
and i need cash.
LOADS of cash.
its a money world.
and i need money.
money gaf her tad extra lift.
i want tad lift too.
n one thing's fer sure.
im not stayin in singpore alr.

oh yeahz.
as a bitter aftertone.
ya'll wanna know wad i was too immature to appreciate?


of course she's got her faults.
now she's become sumthin totally unrecognisable to mi tad even if she hit on mi again i'll prob say no.
cuz of her character change.its like the typical wild party gals tad i totally regard with disdain.
but yeahz.
on terms on physical attraction.
no one has ever come close to her.
hurrhurr.
sighz.
sleep time.