entrance

i have entered the world of self hate,self despair,hurt n pain.
self despise too.
hate fer oneself has never been this strong.
maybe its only this strong only cuz it hasta match the hurt i feel so i cant feel it.
i dunno.
i hate it as well.
i really really regret my actions.
why the fuk did all this happen.
cuz ben had to be such a smartass.
wonderful.
its amazing aft everythins done,
a lil reciprocation's still not in order.
fer nothin less den giving sumthin else tad offers better benefits a chance.
and fer makin me happy.
juz making me happy.
n tad's not enuf.
sighz.
i hate myself.
i hate the world.
i hate God fer dealin me this hand of cards to deal wit.
cuz im not prepared to do so.
i hate myself.
and if you've got nuttin to say./
you better not fukin tag on my board regardin tis entry cuz i swear i've fukin tear you to ribbons.
dun push me.
im done.

how can love be so painful.
wen i only asked fer one thing once.