field camp's gone,
so's range.
im left wit 2 more critical junctures in my NS life before block leave arrives n i hafta await my posting.
i really hope i get into command sch but it doesnt look promising.
i cant do my chin ups.
and tad's sumthin tad takes time to train.
its the 20th.
i POP on the 6th of june.
10 days black leave to try to pass.
i.e,
i haf approx 25 days to get my pull ups to 9 to get a silver fer my IPPT.
surprisingly nuf,
i managed to survive my run.
:))
and made a silver timing.
to all you pple out there,
runnin';s like no kick,
but i'l haf you know,
tis is the guy tad trained fer 2 weeks before his napfa test and still didnt manage to pass at a time of 1230 and in the end hadta pakat wit his frens to make sure he didnt go into ns 2 months early.
:))
HAHAH
so yea.
wen i took the test yest,
i was really glad to see tad i manage to hit 11:39 or 40.
one of em.
either way.
im really proud of myself n really happy.
i did 53 situps,
but i was really pissed regardin my stupid jump n shuttle run.
my shuttle degraded from 8.7 to 9.7!!!!
1 whole ridiculous second!!!
and my jump.
no more basketbal n now i only jumpin arnd 240.
wad happened to my 256!!!!:@:@:@:@:@:@@
ruddy hell.
this week was really relaxed tho.
we had imt fer the 1st few days,
and range on wed n thurs.
im really sad cuz i missed my marksman by 1 lousy shot,
but yea.
27/32 aint all tad bad considerin i had 2 I.As.
one of which was durin snap target.
oh well.
wad else.
nothing much i guess.
next week's IPPT and Sit test.
hope my weekend doesnt get blown.
oh wellz.
shall go chill n wait fer qi's call den i shall bath n go town.
:))
DA VINCI CODE AWAITS!!!:))
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Sunday, May 14, 2006
guard duty n field camp.
hmmm.
field camp's over.
it was a really good field camp i guess.
i survived it.
mohawk field camp.
thru the illnesses tad plagued me n all,
i made it thru.
:)
a total of 190+ mohawk recruits went fer field camp.
a total of 130+ mohawk recruits passed field camp.
i was one of em.
go figure.
the route march to the last campsite alone in CAT 2(which means heat alert)
we lost a total of 48 pple.
yea.
the sweltering heat really killed alot of good guys.
i shall blog more about field camp wen i haf the time.
but yea.
upon return,
i found out i was "lucky" enough to be selected fer guard duty.
on sat.
which means a 24 hour posting.
which basically meant,
in a rare holiday where i could've had spent 2 nights at home,
i spend everynight in camp.
so yea.
it really bugged me like hell but yea.
aft talkin to mummy n qi..
things didnt seem so bad aft all.
it actually turned out to be quite the learnin experience.
suffice to say i went in sated.
i spent time wit qi n mummy n jie n all so it was aight.
also saw ken yeo from maris wen i sent her to fysh n co fer her fren's bdae dinner.
stuff enough to make me feel aight.
guard duty was not physically tiring as i was orderly.
but it was mentally taxin.
the regulard guards, i.e prowlers n sentries, work 2 hours n have 4 hours break aft.
i stayed up the entire 24 hours.
and yea.
comin immediately aft field camp,
which basically meant tad i slept about 5 hours a day fer the past week in a mosquito infested jungle,
yea.
meentally taxing.
prob gonna haf a fever really soon.
heh.
was really tiring la.
i gotta go sleep now.
i tink im sproutin nonsense now.
heh.
gotta book back in by 1950 today.
sucks dunnit.
:(
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
right....................................................
field camp's over.
it was a really good field camp i guess.
i survived it.
mohawk field camp.
thru the illnesses tad plagued me n all,
i made it thru.
:)
a total of 190+ mohawk recruits went fer field camp.
a total of 130+ mohawk recruits passed field camp.
i was one of em.
go figure.
the route march to the last campsite alone in CAT 2(which means heat alert)
we lost a total of 48 pple.
yea.
the sweltering heat really killed alot of good guys.
i shall blog more about field camp wen i haf the time.
but yea.
upon return,
i found out i was "lucky" enough to be selected fer guard duty.
on sat.
which means a 24 hour posting.
which basically meant,
in a rare holiday where i could've had spent 2 nights at home,
i spend everynight in camp.
so yea.
it really bugged me like hell but yea.
aft talkin to mummy n qi..
things didnt seem so bad aft all.
it actually turned out to be quite the learnin experience.
suffice to say i went in sated.
i spent time wit qi n mummy n jie n all so it was aight.
also saw ken yeo from maris wen i sent her to fysh n co fer her fren's bdae dinner.
stuff enough to make me feel aight.
guard duty was not physically tiring as i was orderly.
but it was mentally taxin.
the regulard guards, i.e prowlers n sentries, work 2 hours n have 4 hours break aft.
i stayed up the entire 24 hours.
and yea.
comin immediately aft field camp,
which basically meant tad i slept about 5 hours a day fer the past week in a mosquito infested jungle,
yea.
meentally taxing.
prob gonna haf a fever really soon.
heh.
was really tiring la.
i gotta go sleep now.
i tink im sproutin nonsense now.
heh.
gotta book back in by 1950 today.
sucks dunnit.
:(
| Your Birthdate: June 23 |
 Your strength: Your likeability Your weakness: You never feel satisfied Your power color: Bright yellow Your power symbol: Asterisk Your power month: May |
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
right....................................................
Monday, May 01, 2006
so dark the disconsolation of man.
hmmm.
stolen line from da vinci code n adapted to my own emotions.
hmmm.
field camp looms in the near future.
my flu still hasnt gone.
and im determined it shall not affect me.
sometimes i wonder if my ipod has a brain.
it seems to know my moods.
times where im sad n wanna be lifted up,
bouncy songs stream into my ear.
wen im sad and wanna be malecholy,
it sends lonesome n painful songs of recollection n dealin wit emotions,
wen im high a contant cascade of bouncy clubby songs hit me wit extra bass.
this mornin however.
it was the 2nd.
i find myself being really too much of an idealist.
but now i begin to understand someone else's pain a lot more.
someone from my past.
why the tears n the bitter emotions.
now i finally get it.
bein an idealist opens up many doors fer disappointment.
i was extremely disappointed wit my army life till i sounded out wit my bunk mates.
tad's juz one of the many.
but nuf wit the sidetrackin.
suffice to say within me is alot of pain.
alot of disappointment.
and yea.
lessons learnt.
but yea.
never again.
love is sumthin tad can never be given n should never be given too easily.
it should never be taken fer granted but should be treasured.
things tad are there miten be there ferever.
sighz.
i gif up la.
im juz not in the mood to swing words.
i cant properly express myself witout naming names.
and since i cant.
i shall not express myself then.
wad a ridiculous situation pls.
sighz.
stolen line from da vinci code n adapted to my own emotions.
hmmm.
field camp looms in the near future.
my flu still hasnt gone.
and im determined it shall not affect me.
sometimes i wonder if my ipod has a brain.
it seems to know my moods.
times where im sad n wanna be lifted up,
bouncy songs stream into my ear.
wen im sad and wanna be malecholy,
it sends lonesome n painful songs of recollection n dealin wit emotions,
wen im high a contant cascade of bouncy clubby songs hit me wit extra bass.
this mornin however.
it was the 2nd.
i find myself being really too much of an idealist.
but now i begin to understand someone else's pain a lot more.
someone from my past.
why the tears n the bitter emotions.
now i finally get it.
bein an idealist opens up many doors fer disappointment.
i was extremely disappointed wit my army life till i sounded out wit my bunk mates.
tad's juz one of the many.
but nuf wit the sidetrackin.
suffice to say within me is alot of pain.
alot of disappointment.
and yea.
lessons learnt.
but yea.
never again.
love is sumthin tad can never be given n should never be given too easily.
it should never be taken fer granted but should be treasured.
things tad are there miten be there ferever.
sighz.
i gif up la.
im juz not in the mood to swing words.
i cant properly express myself witout naming names.
and since i cant.
i shall not express myself then.
wad a ridiculous situation pls.
sighz.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
3 weeks gone.
my 3rd week in camp is over.
and hmm.
there's only another 4?5? more weeks.
and tis week wen i book it,
it would mark another monumental point in my NS life as this week is my field camp week.
which means i would be gone from here fer a total of 2 more weeks.
not really lookin forward to it as it will be a wearisome journey n taskin.
im worried of the challenges i'll face,
but im more determined to make em good.
command sch is wad im lookin fer.
hopefully i'll have wad it takes to get me there.
hmmm.
tis past week has been particularly tiring as it marks my return from my hand injury.
in actual fact,
it doesnt,
but i haf told myself to ignore the pain n juz train fer fear tad i wunt be able to get to command sch should my injury be of such a sustained time tad i wouldnt be able to get my silver for my IPPT at the end of BMT.
so yea.
i've been doin pushups n chin ups ignorin all the pain by restin my weight on my left hand.
which explains why my left side's achin really badle.
we did IMT which is basically computerised shootin tis week as well.
i got a pretty good groupin considerin i wasnt from ncc or sum other uniform group tad gave me a chance to shoot before.
the best in my platoon shot a groupin size for 4 bullets of 1.1 cm.
tad's ghey.
cuz basically,
one bullet's width's 5.56 mm.
so yea.
go figure how ghey is tad.
i got a groupin of 1.8 fer my very first try,
which i was incredibly proud of,
but den yea.
as i got more n more tired,
den yea.
my groupin finally averaged out at about between 2.6 n 2.
which is decent i guess.
but yea.
aimin fer better.
:))
wad else.
we had tis really tough day which was strength trainin,close combat skills n SOC.
in like CAT2 weather,
which is basically a heat alert.
so yea.
we were wearin the long sleeved uniforms in th heat n runnin around lookin like fools.
trust me.
its only aft runnin around in army boots tad you truly appreciate runnin shoes.
in tad uniform,
each step is a major effort.
i tink i've lost a bit of weight,
but not nuf i feel.
cuz only 1 person commented i lost weight.
so yea.
shall aim to lose more weight.
hopefully i can cut down to about maybe 70 n start chisellin from there.
and maintain.
which means wavin goodbye to indulgent living but yea.
a healthy slim lookin body's prob worth it.
hmmm.
wad else.
my section cum bunk is startin to really bond toget,
i finally begin to feel a sense of belongin.
it s a start to combatin the initial lonliness tad i felt n struggled to cope with.
but i realised another thing missed.
its personal space.
wen you hafta share your personal space wit so many pple,
it gets stiflin.
and i didnt realise it till i booked out.
tad wen you book out,
you juz want time alone.
you juz wanna be arnd the pple who are you life n tad's about it.
you dun hafta do very much,
say very much,
juz bein in the presence is good nuf.
wen i booked out yest,
my section went fer lunch.
den i came home.
there was alot of initial disagreement,
but yea.
in the end i manage to spend time wit my family n my girl.
hmmm.
went out to celebrate angela's birthday,
had dinner at glutton's bay n headed into the party at dxo fer a while juz to take a look n chill out.
i miss the club.
i haf good memories there perhaps,
and tad's why i like the place.
i like dbl o even more but yea.
21 except fer thurs.
me?thurs?not possible.
but one thing's fer sure.
the next time i book out,
which should the thurs one week away from now.
imma go club.
i wanna dance.
since i book out on thurs nite,
fri nite's party time.
anyone???:))
time to go dance n moooooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeee.:))
and hmm.
there's only another 4?5? more weeks.
and tis week wen i book it,
it would mark another monumental point in my NS life as this week is my field camp week.
which means i would be gone from here fer a total of 2 more weeks.
not really lookin forward to it as it will be a wearisome journey n taskin.
im worried of the challenges i'll face,
but im more determined to make em good.
command sch is wad im lookin fer.
hopefully i'll have wad it takes to get me there.
hmmm.
tis past week has been particularly tiring as it marks my return from my hand injury.
in actual fact,
it doesnt,
but i haf told myself to ignore the pain n juz train fer fear tad i wunt be able to get to command sch should my injury be of such a sustained time tad i wouldnt be able to get my silver for my IPPT at the end of BMT.
so yea.
i've been doin pushups n chin ups ignorin all the pain by restin my weight on my left hand.
which explains why my left side's achin really badle.
we did IMT which is basically computerised shootin tis week as well.
i got a pretty good groupin considerin i wasnt from ncc or sum other uniform group tad gave me a chance to shoot before.
the best in my platoon shot a groupin size for 4 bullets of 1.1 cm.
tad's ghey.
cuz basically,
one bullet's width's 5.56 mm.
so yea.
go figure how ghey is tad.
i got a groupin of 1.8 fer my very first try,
which i was incredibly proud of,
but den yea.
as i got more n more tired,
den yea.
my groupin finally averaged out at about between 2.6 n 2.
which is decent i guess.
but yea.
aimin fer better.
:))
wad else.
we had tis really tough day which was strength trainin,close combat skills n SOC.
in like CAT2 weather,
which is basically a heat alert.
so yea.
we were wearin the long sleeved uniforms in th heat n runnin around lookin like fools.
trust me.
its only aft runnin around in army boots tad you truly appreciate runnin shoes.
in tad uniform,
each step is a major effort.
i tink i've lost a bit of weight,
but not nuf i feel.
cuz only 1 person commented i lost weight.
so yea.
shall aim to lose more weight.
hopefully i can cut down to about maybe 70 n start chisellin from there.
and maintain.
which means wavin goodbye to indulgent living but yea.
a healthy slim lookin body's prob worth it.
hmmm.
wad else.
my section cum bunk is startin to really bond toget,
i finally begin to feel a sense of belongin.
it s a start to combatin the initial lonliness tad i felt n struggled to cope with.
but i realised another thing missed.
its personal space.
wen you hafta share your personal space wit so many pple,
it gets stiflin.
and i didnt realise it till i booked out.
tad wen you book out,
you juz want time alone.
you juz wanna be arnd the pple who are you life n tad's about it.
you dun hafta do very much,
say very much,
juz bein in the presence is good nuf.
wen i booked out yest,
my section went fer lunch.
den i came home.
there was alot of initial disagreement,
but yea.
in the end i manage to spend time wit my family n my girl.
hmmm.
went out to celebrate angela's birthday,
had dinner at glutton's bay n headed into the party at dxo fer a while juz to take a look n chill out.
i miss the club.
i haf good memories there perhaps,
and tad's why i like the place.
i like dbl o even more but yea.
21 except fer thurs.
me?thurs?not possible.
but one thing's fer sure.
the next time i book out,
which should the thurs one week away from now.
imma go club.
i wanna dance.
since i book out on thurs nite,
fri nite's party time.
anyone???:))
time to go dance n moooooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeee.:))
Saturday, April 22, 2006
today is our book out day.
hmm.
2nd week in bmt has passed.
and i guessed more lessons learned.
:))
in the earlier part of the week.
i was really quite demoralised.
why?
cuz my hp batt was low.
heh.
imma weird person in the sense tad i cant be without my contact wit my loved ones.
so wen my hp batt started dyin,
my morale fell as well.
hmmm.
i got really grumpy n all.
tad coupled toget wit my inability to do pushups n chin ups cuza my hand pain really pissed the shat outta me.
so yea.
i got a lil grumpy.
but yea.
wunt go into the nitty gritty,
but yea.
it wunt happen again.
i realised tad i haf a prob wit expression.
you're prob tinkin la "dun be a clown la.you amek so much ambient noise you cant express yourself??"
but it realised my prob comes from the fact tad i store alot inside me.
and wen it bursts.
its tis multidirectional fire hose tad basically blasts everything in its way.
wen it did at least it was in a really cute n unobvious way.
it was durin an idealogue wit my sections mates regardin whether or not to go chiong fer ocs.
so yea.
basicallly.
there was this foo tad like gaf me tis sense tad he was really arrogant n all.
so i really couldnt take it n i burst.
and every single time he made a point,
i shot him down.
till a point tad like none of my section mates had an idea of wad my stand was.
but yea.
they all got really worrried fer me which i tink is a good thing.
at least they care a lil bit i guess.
hmmm.
you can never ever please everyone.
esp guys.
they all look fer diff things.
and fer every group tad you win over,
you lose a group.
it sumthin tad you know but yet you nv are truly prepared cuz you juz wanna be loved by all i guess.
quitoxic but yea.
cant help it.
hmmm.
runnin is no longer a problem fer me i guess.
cuz we run EVERY SINGLE MORNIN WITHOUT FAIL.
other companies haf 5BX(5 basic exercises),
maybe every 2 or 3 days,inclusive of a 1.6 km run.
ours???
5BX everyday plus 5-6 lap run.
and our 5BX,
other compnies chant "1,2,3,4,2,2,3,4" so on and so forth.
ours chant "1,2,3,4,i love mohawk,2,2,3,4,i love mohawk"and so forth.
i.e,
in 1 count of other companies,
1 set of 4 is 2 pushups,situps,jumpin jacks etc...
ours 1 set of 4 is 4 of every of the above.
and other companies do maximum 20.
today,
mohawk did 50 counts of jumpin jacks,2 sets of 30 counts of pushups n 2 sets of 20 counts of flutter kicks.
trust me.
100 stupid jumpin jacks,
sumbody's muscle is DEFINITELY GONNA CRAMp.
and lagi best.
rite before book out n stand by bed area cleanin.
so like.
basically no platoon made the stand by area.
but yea.
got screamed at CSM,
got threatened to be confined,
den yea.
bookout.
rushed to buy my stuff,
rush home to shower,
den went to meet her,
spent time fer a while,
den sent her off to dinner wit her frens,
rushed home fer dinner n laundry,
n chillin now.
:))
admin time +++++.
:))
i always get so motivated once im home i feel like i can take on the world again.
bein wit my loved ones makes me strong i swear.
:))
oh wellz.
gonna slack n watch tv fer a while.
i wanna listen to music but daddy wants to watch tv so yea.
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@
2nd week in bmt has passed.
and i guessed more lessons learned.
:))
in the earlier part of the week.
i was really quite demoralised.
why?
cuz my hp batt was low.
heh.
imma weird person in the sense tad i cant be without my contact wit my loved ones.
so wen my hp batt started dyin,
my morale fell as well.
hmmm.
i got really grumpy n all.
tad coupled toget wit my inability to do pushups n chin ups cuza my hand pain really pissed the shat outta me.
so yea.
i got a lil grumpy.
but yea.
wunt go into the nitty gritty,
but yea.
it wunt happen again.
i realised tad i haf a prob wit expression.
you're prob tinkin la "dun be a clown la.you amek so much ambient noise you cant express yourself??"
but it realised my prob comes from the fact tad i store alot inside me.
and wen it bursts.
its tis multidirectional fire hose tad basically blasts everything in its way.
wen it did at least it was in a really cute n unobvious way.
it was durin an idealogue wit my sections mates regardin whether or not to go chiong fer ocs.
so yea.
basicallly.
there was this foo tad like gaf me tis sense tad he was really arrogant n all.
so i really couldnt take it n i burst.
and every single time he made a point,
i shot him down.
till a point tad like none of my section mates had an idea of wad my stand was.
but yea.
they all got really worrried fer me which i tink is a good thing.
at least they care a lil bit i guess.
hmmm.
you can never ever please everyone.
esp guys.
they all look fer diff things.
and fer every group tad you win over,
you lose a group.
it sumthin tad you know but yet you nv are truly prepared cuz you juz wanna be loved by all i guess.
quitoxic but yea.
cant help it.
hmmm.
runnin is no longer a problem fer me i guess.
cuz we run EVERY SINGLE MORNIN WITHOUT FAIL.
other companies haf 5BX(5 basic exercises),
maybe every 2 or 3 days,inclusive of a 1.6 km run.
ours???
5BX everyday plus 5-6 lap run.
and our 5BX,
other compnies chant "1,2,3,4,2,2,3,4" so on and so forth.
ours chant "1,2,3,4,i love mohawk,2,2,3,4,i love mohawk"and so forth.
i.e,
in 1 count of other companies,
1 set of 4 is 2 pushups,situps,jumpin jacks etc...
ours 1 set of 4 is 4 of every of the above.
and other companies do maximum 20.
today,
mohawk did 50 counts of jumpin jacks,2 sets of 30 counts of pushups n 2 sets of 20 counts of flutter kicks.
trust me.
100 stupid jumpin jacks,
sumbody's muscle is DEFINITELY GONNA CRAMp.
and lagi best.
rite before book out n stand by bed area cleanin.
so like.
basically no platoon made the stand by area.
but yea.
got screamed at CSM,
got threatened to be confined,
den yea.
bookout.
rushed to buy my stuff,
rush home to shower,
den went to meet her,
spent time fer a while,
den sent her off to dinner wit her frens,
rushed home fer dinner n laundry,
n chillin now.
:))
admin time +++++.
:))
i always get so motivated once im home i feel like i can take on the world again.
bein wit my loved ones makes me strong i swear.
:))
oh wellz.
gonna slack n watch tv fer a while.
i wanna listen to music but daddy wants to watch tv so yea.
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@
Thursday, April 13, 2006
N.S.
hmmm.
imma recruit!!!
i aint got no moar hair.
teehee.
hmmm.
MOHAWK company.
Platoon 1
Section 4 bed 8.
my company's supposedly the best i guess.
its kinda hard to fit in rite now.
life was slack before ns,
time fer myself,
time fer juz sittin down to think fer a while n appreciate life.
things you never appreciate till you lose it i say.
hmmm.
you never appreciate the fact tad you can walk from point to point till you lose tad priviledge n hafta rush from point to point,
rest your weight equally over 2 feet,
no shiftin of weight n hafta look str8 ahead.
you'll miss bein able to look arnd.
you'll miss restin on one foot.
you'll miss restin on the wall.
you'll miss the entire low stress environment.
you'll miss not havin sgts yell at you every single second.
you'll miss your freedom.
i just surrendered my i.c n got my 11B today.
you'll miss your civilian status.
you'll miss your hair.
you'll miss the fact tad you can haf fun,
hold hands wit your girl in public.
all the priviledges tad bein a member of the SAF doesnt entitle you to enjoy as long as you're in uniform.
simple things in life you take fer granted.
i tink part of the "life changin exp" tad NS promises is the fact tad it reminds all guys of how things was before we were independent.
and thru that process,
train us to defend these things we cherish.
the trainin's been pretty sweet.
its harsh.
its cramped.
the only thing tad's good about it is tad there aint no such thing as insommia.
wen you get abck to bunk,
you're so bloody shacked tad even goin to the stupid toilet's a test of personal will.
wen you fall upon your bed your back muscles cry protest,
and you still gotta go shower,
and gotta report in.
it take a lot.
but i intend to stick thru to it.
i wanna enter command sch should it be possible.
hopefully build my confidence along the way.
rite now we're all bloody incompetent soldiers so we get yelled at just about every other min.
i hope as things progress it'll change.
we need the knowledge to be competent wad.
if not we'll all be bloody kan chiong spider every single second of the day.
den as a matter of fact we'll get yelled at.
so yea.
go figure its kinda like a cycle i guess.
niwaez.
lights out time was like 1 n a half hours ago.
im still waitin fer her call.
and she still hasnt called yet.
so like i cant go to bed.
needta go buy stuff tml.
oh wellz.
shall juz relax in civilisation i guess.
only 20 more hours of it left.
imma recruit!!!
i aint got no moar hair.
teehee.
hmmm.
MOHAWK company.
Platoon 1
Section 4 bed 8.
my company's supposedly the best i guess.
its kinda hard to fit in rite now.
life was slack before ns,
time fer myself,
time fer juz sittin down to think fer a while n appreciate life.
things you never appreciate till you lose it i say.
hmmm.
you never appreciate the fact tad you can walk from point to point till you lose tad priviledge n hafta rush from point to point,
rest your weight equally over 2 feet,
no shiftin of weight n hafta look str8 ahead.
you'll miss bein able to look arnd.
you'll miss restin on one foot.
you'll miss restin on the wall.
you'll miss the entire low stress environment.
you'll miss not havin sgts yell at you every single second.
you'll miss your freedom.
i just surrendered my i.c n got my 11B today.
you'll miss your civilian status.
you'll miss your hair.
you'll miss the fact tad you can haf fun,
hold hands wit your girl in public.
all the priviledges tad bein a member of the SAF doesnt entitle you to enjoy as long as you're in uniform.
simple things in life you take fer granted.
i tink part of the "life changin exp" tad NS promises is the fact tad it reminds all guys of how things was before we were independent.
and thru that process,
train us to defend these things we cherish.
the trainin's been pretty sweet.
its harsh.
its cramped.
the only thing tad's good about it is tad there aint no such thing as insommia.
wen you get abck to bunk,
you're so bloody shacked tad even goin to the stupid toilet's a test of personal will.
wen you fall upon your bed your back muscles cry protest,
and you still gotta go shower,
and gotta report in.
it take a lot.
but i intend to stick thru to it.
i wanna enter command sch should it be possible.
hopefully build my confidence along the way.
rite now we're all bloody incompetent soldiers so we get yelled at just about every other min.
i hope as things progress it'll change.
we need the knowledge to be competent wad.
if not we'll all be bloody kan chiong spider every single second of the day.
den as a matter of fact we'll get yelled at.
so yea.
go figure its kinda like a cycle i guess.
niwaez.
lights out time was like 1 n a half hours ago.
im still waitin fer her call.
and she still hasnt called yet.
so like i cant go to bed.
needta go buy stuff tml.
oh wellz.
shall juz relax in civilisation i guess.
only 20 more hours of it left.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
LESS DEN 10 HOURS AWAY.
in less den 10 hours from now,
am i become NS man Ng.
oh wellz.
so much to say,
so little time cuz i wanna play gb before i go sleep.
teehee.
hmmm.
sighz.
i am a lil afraid,
a lil excited,
a lil weary,
and apprehensive.
i guess its not like imma approach it wit trepidation but at least a modicum of respect.
hmmm.
really cant wait.
hmmm.
niwaez.
last words.
hmmm.
to family:
CHILLLLLLLLLLll.
panic not n realx.
i will prevail.
to qi:
you better be waitin n cryin your eyes out every day.
:@
to fysh:
we huat on good friday.
kekekeke.
to alv:
we huat on good friday,
chiong aft pop.
other frens:
MISS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
to rah:
i still mean it wen i sorry.
hmmm.
dunno wad else to type.
rushin.
hmmm.
gb time.
see you guys one week from now without hair.
:))
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.
am i become NS man Ng.
oh wellz.
so much to say,
so little time cuz i wanna play gb before i go sleep.
teehee.
hmmm.
sighz.
i am a lil afraid,
a lil excited,
a lil weary,
and apprehensive.
i guess its not like imma approach it wit trepidation but at least a modicum of respect.
hmmm.
really cant wait.
hmmm.
niwaez.
last words.
hmmm.
to family:
CHILLLLLLLLLLll.
panic not n realx.
i will prevail.
to qi:
you better be waitin n cryin your eyes out every day.
:@
to fysh:
we huat on good friday.
kekekeke.
to alv:
we huat on good friday,
chiong aft pop.
other frens:
MISS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
to rah:
i still mean it wen i sorry.
hmmm.
dunno wad else to type.
rushin.
hmmm.
gb time.
see you guys one week from now without hair.
:))
The Five Love Languages
My primary love language is probablyPhysical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.
Complete set of results
| Physical Touch: | 9 | |
| Quality Time: | 8 | |
| Acts of Service: | 6 | |
| Words of Affirmation: | 6 | |
| Receiving Gifts: | 1 |
Information
Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.
Take the quiz
in less den ten hours,
Monday, April 03, 2006
the actions you wished you hadnt taken.
it seems tad of recent times,
i have loadsa things i find myself wishin i hadnt done.
wishin certain pple hadnt done to me.
wishin certain pple didnt behave this way,
wishin certain pple didnt have the instincts and habits they did.
sighz.
fer all everyone has done,
why make everythin fer vain.
its a cruel world.
make things the best fer yaself,
extend the hand wen possible,
spend tad lil extra time,
cherish tad extra lil moment.
live it fer a lifetime.
live fer the moment,
live and rem it fer a lifetime.
make it last.
and if tad moment can be built into sumthin more tad you know you can cherish,
despite the fear,the annoyin lack of funds,the tired body,
do it.
at least.
tad's the way i live my life.
i feel im happy.
i feel tad im slowly accomplishin things.
it mite not be the perfect way.
but i believe tad if there's a need fer a rush,
God'll make it pretty clear.
but at the same time,
if it shouldnt be done,
there would be really REALLY clear signs to tell me otherwise.
sighz.
oh wellz.
another cryptic entry.
the beauty of language.
to seek the msg within,
to unlock the truth beneath,
open your heart to the words,
let it permeate.
maybe den,
the words will find your heart,
and not your head.
i have loadsa things i find myself wishin i hadnt done.
wishin certain pple hadnt done to me.
wishin certain pple didnt behave this way,
wishin certain pple didnt have the instincts and habits they did.
sighz.
fer all everyone has done,
why make everythin fer vain.
its a cruel world.
make things the best fer yaself,
extend the hand wen possible,
spend tad lil extra time,
cherish tad extra lil moment.
live it fer a lifetime.
live fer the moment,
live and rem it fer a lifetime.
make it last.
and if tad moment can be built into sumthin more tad you know you can cherish,
despite the fear,the annoyin lack of funds,the tired body,
do it.
at least.
tad's the way i live my life.
i feel im happy.
i feel tad im slowly accomplishin things.
it mite not be the perfect way.
but i believe tad if there's a need fer a rush,
God'll make it pretty clear.
but at the same time,
if it shouldnt be done,
there would be really REALLY clear signs to tell me otherwise.
sighz.
oh wellz.
another cryptic entry.
the beauty of language.
to seek the msg within,
to unlock the truth beneath,
open your heart to the words,
let it permeate.
maybe den,
the words will find your heart,
and not your head.
3 more daes.
its 3 more days and i enter ns.
part of me cant wait.
the other part is kinda trembling.
im pretty sure i'll rise to the challenge.
but i hope they'll allow fer like a conditioning period.
my aim is to lose 10+ kg in my course spent there.
:))
hopefully 15.
:))
den my weight'll be perfect.
hohoho.:))
loadsa things being on my mind now.
hmmmm.
i saw a side of sum1 again yest tad sent me into loadsa tinkin again.
oh wellz.
did housework today.
WOW.
fun fun fun.
:@
nvm.
the 1st of 3 farewell dinner begins tml.
:))
WHEEE
part of me cant wait.
the other part is kinda trembling.
im pretty sure i'll rise to the challenge.
but i hope they'll allow fer like a conditioning period.
my aim is to lose 10+ kg in my course spent there.
:))
hopefully 15.
:))
den my weight'll be perfect.
hohoho.:))
loadsa things being on my mind now.
hmmmm.
i saw a side of sum1 again yest tad sent me into loadsa tinkin again.
oh wellz.
did housework today.
WOW.
fun fun fun.
:@
nvm.
the 1st of 3 farewell dinner begins tml.
:))
WHEEE
Sunday, April 02, 2006
There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darknessT
here's a light that I can't find
Well maybe it's too far away
Maybe I'm just blind
Maybe I'm just blind
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
hold me when I'm scared
and Love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
you wanted me to beI
'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
you can Hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone
When your education x-ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my fans
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
and Love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
that you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I couldI'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Maybe I'm just blind
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
and Love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
that you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone
3 doors down.
when im gone.
you should know it its fer you.
niwaez.
today.
had breakfast wit maisie,
den had church.
dance was a bit rushed,
but i guess in the end,
everythin should've gotten done.
hmmm.
yea.
soccer.
joey wasnt here,
apparently in someplace wit loadsa girls.
cant rem where.
hmmm.
scored only one today tho.
oh wellz.
imma in a hyper emo mood.
kinda contradiction i know.
but yea.
certain things and actions you wished pple would understand.
esp this very one.
sighz.
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darknessT
here's a light that I can't find
Well maybe it's too far away
Maybe I'm just blind
Maybe I'm just blind
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
hold me when I'm scared
and Love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
you wanted me to beI
'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
you can Hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone
When your education x-ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my fans
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
and Love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
that you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I couldI'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Maybe I'm just blind
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
and Love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
that you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone
3 doors down.
when im gone.
you should know it its fer you.
niwaez.
today.
had breakfast wit maisie,
den had church.
dance was a bit rushed,
but i guess in the end,
everythin should've gotten done.
hmmm.
yea.
soccer.
joey wasnt here,
apparently in someplace wit loadsa girls.
cant rem where.
hmmm.
scored only one today tho.
oh wellz.
imma in a hyper emo mood.
kinda contradiction i know.
but yea.
certain things and actions you wished pple would understand.
esp this very one.
sighz.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
hockey.rained out
hmmm.
had hockey today.
met d earlier whilst buyin my rashes cream fer camp.
hmmm.
i am really quite a bit scared tad my sensitive skin will like kill me in camp.
:(
i get rashes if in contact wit loadsa dirt.
hope i wunt like get it dam bad.
if i do i dunnit be occifer alr.
:(
oh wellz.
not tad i tink my chances are high niwaez.
flat feet plus weak ankles.
:(
pfft.
niwaez.
went fer hockey today.
met d earlier to have lunch.
den we went toget on the bus.
didnt really get to play cuz ms chua decided to have one of her "discipline talks" again.
which i approve of but not wen tournament is so near.
den aft tad..
went to pick baby n send her home.
yup.
tad's about it.
i sumtimes do the most ridiculous things.
oh wellz.
was back by 515 la.
so yup.
chillin!!!:))
i need games.
fysh!!!!
lend me d2 cd.
anyone wit game cd lend me.
NOWZ.
:))
had hockey today.
met d earlier whilst buyin my rashes cream fer camp.
hmmm.
i am really quite a bit scared tad my sensitive skin will like kill me in camp.
:(
i get rashes if in contact wit loadsa dirt.
hope i wunt like get it dam bad.
if i do i dunnit be occifer alr.
:(
oh wellz.
not tad i tink my chances are high niwaez.
flat feet plus weak ankles.
:(
pfft.
niwaez.
went fer hockey today.
met d earlier to have lunch.
den we went toget on the bus.
didnt really get to play cuz ms chua decided to have one of her "discipline talks" again.
which i approve of but not wen tournament is so near.
den aft tad..
went to pick baby n send her home.
yup.
tad's about it.
i sumtimes do the most ridiculous things.
oh wellz.
was back by 515 la.
so yup.
chillin!!!:))
i need games.
fysh!!!!
lend me d2 cd.
anyone wit game cd lend me.
NOWZ.
:))
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
ice skatin.
hmmm.
the past few days have been pretty neat i guess.
save for one really unlucky happenstance.
oh wellz.
nwiaez.
:))
i shall recap sunday and today!!!!
sunday was church,dance n soccer day.
church was a really good sermon on howta deal wit prono addiction n how it ruins pple.
den it was dance.
hmmm.
the dance is comin together at long last?
and to me its an achievement cuz its been a pretty short culimination.
everythin synced up pretty quickly so yea.
6 weeks we got a dance out.
i gotta come out wit 32 more beats,
so i'll be frettin about it once again.
:(
oh wellz.
but its really nice to see pple comin toget,
doin your steps,
and knowin tad this lil contribution you made is gonna be expressed and celebrated wit a whole bunch of pple to make Him happy.
den soccer.
hahaha.
i love soccer.
the week before was my first trainin and it really wore me ragged.
but yea.
since ns is comin up so any kinda physical activity,
now is the time to ask.
:))
niwaez,
i scored a goal during the 1st session and made 1 goal.
tis week,
i scored 2 and made 1!!!:))
heh.
the 1st wasnt anithin special,
juz a normal curl tad dan fumbled..
but the 2nd was sumthin im pretty proud off.
:))
david did a back kick tad left the ball headin behind and inbetween 2 defenders.
i was center strike so i rushed into the gap,
and before the ball even landed,
with the two defenders decently close to me,
i did a volley tad went into the bottom right corner of the goal.
it was a really sweet goal i tell you.
but at the same time,
since i used the face of my foot to whack the ball,
i kinda overextended my ankle and it kinda twinges my foot wit pain wen i walk.
even now.
:p
oh wellz.
den today.
went ice skatin wit qi.
:))
man.
i hobbled onto the ice n basically concentrated on keepin my balance.
twas my 1st time on ice.
:))
and yes i know deprived n all.
but it was bloody scary n fun la.
:))
i nearly fell 4 times but the key word is NEARLY!!:))
didnt fall at all.
:))
quite prouda myself pls.:))
it was really fun.
:))
im honestly really quite tired but im pushin myself on before i sleep normal hours next week.
tml's hockey.
wanna see if i can score against the combined school's gk.
HEH HEH HEH.
:))
the past few days have been pretty neat i guess.
save for one really unlucky happenstance.
oh wellz.
nwiaez.
:))
i shall recap sunday and today!!!!
sunday was church,dance n soccer day.
church was a really good sermon on howta deal wit prono addiction n how it ruins pple.
den it was dance.
hmmm.
the dance is comin together at long last?
and to me its an achievement cuz its been a pretty short culimination.
everythin synced up pretty quickly so yea.
6 weeks we got a dance out.
i gotta come out wit 32 more beats,
so i'll be frettin about it once again.
:(
oh wellz.
but its really nice to see pple comin toget,
doin your steps,
and knowin tad this lil contribution you made is gonna be expressed and celebrated wit a whole bunch of pple to make Him happy.
den soccer.
hahaha.
i love soccer.
the week before was my first trainin and it really wore me ragged.
but yea.
since ns is comin up so any kinda physical activity,
now is the time to ask.
:))
niwaez,
i scored a goal during the 1st session and made 1 goal.
tis week,
i scored 2 and made 1!!!:))
heh.
the 1st wasnt anithin special,
juz a normal curl tad dan fumbled..
but the 2nd was sumthin im pretty proud off.
:))
david did a back kick tad left the ball headin behind and inbetween 2 defenders.
i was center strike so i rushed into the gap,
and before the ball even landed,
with the two defenders decently close to me,
i did a volley tad went into the bottom right corner of the goal.
it was a really sweet goal i tell you.
but at the same time,
since i used the face of my foot to whack the ball,
i kinda overextended my ankle and it kinda twinges my foot wit pain wen i walk.
even now.
:p
oh wellz.
den today.
went ice skatin wit qi.
:))
man.
i hobbled onto the ice n basically concentrated on keepin my balance.
twas my 1st time on ice.
:))
and yes i know deprived n all.
but it was bloody scary n fun la.
:))
i nearly fell 4 times but the key word is NEARLY!!:))
didnt fall at all.
:))
quite prouda myself pls.:))
it was really fun.
:))
im honestly really quite tired but im pushin myself on before i sleep normal hours next week.
tml's hockey.
wanna see if i can score against the combined school's gk.
HEH HEH HEH.
:))
Saturday, March 25, 2006
juz got home.
im home.
im feelin emo.
i shall juz start rhyming.
in the still of the night i hear you call,
you're standin here outside my door,
my heart,i hear you,wad bid thee say,
wad off these feelins,tad wunt go away,
why your silence,despite your call,
why do you fade,wen i call.
is tis all there is,is there more,
i cant believe tis is all,you're searchin for.
i wunt accept,i wunt be content,
tell me more,or i'll view you wit comtempt,
wad's really goin on,inside you heart?
why keep this silence,tad's tearin you apart?
let it loose,i bid thee say!
dun be shy,dun hide away,
why the humility,why the shame,
wen we all partake,of the same pain.
wad are the words,that are chocked inside,
lets be frank,n put thoughfulness aside,
be as caustic,as you wanna be,
for right now,its juz you n me.
heart,o heart,why the silence still,
your silence bids rise,to your death's keel,
there's so much more,you hafta feel,
why stifle it all,and yourself kill.
stop the selflessness,it brings me no joy,
stop the foolishness,you silly lil boi,
come to me,i'll hear your woes,
and unto 1 person,you would've told,
tho 1's a small number,it'll make a difference,
in this world,there's no such thing as self sufference,
we were made,to make that difference,
be it fer 1 person,or the whole population.
so speak up now,dun hold you tongue,
let those heavy laden,words be sung,
let those lips,tad be so tightly prised,
be loosened up,as i pry.
the truth hasta be told,it will be said,
better it be now,den wen on death bed.
wen all the words,will come to naught,
where too late are made known,the desires one sought.
let not thyself,be in this web caught,
lets stay toget,n sail thru these waters fraught.
in this time n age,who can be trusted,
wen all arnd are traitors,and their bas*****,
generation upon generations,of successive fools,
who look upon trust,as mediums or tools,
foolishly sellin em off,fer temporal gain,
all witout,the slightest bit of shame.
not tinkin about,the hurt n pain,
they happily pawn others' trust,fer social fame.
heart,o heart,juz let me say,
nothing ever happens,tomorrow today,
nothing lasts ferever,lets be on our way,
along tis road,we'll make it fade away.
never again,will the silence be kept,
let not water be,kept in by silly taps,
of self righteousness,n foolish thoughts,
but expressed and recieved,wit respect earned n fought.
the end.
im feelin emo.
i shall juz start rhyming.
in the still of the night i hear you call,
you're standin here outside my door,
my heart,i hear you,wad bid thee say,
wad off these feelins,tad wunt go away,
why your silence,despite your call,
why do you fade,wen i call.
is tis all there is,is there more,
i cant believe tis is all,you're searchin for.
i wunt accept,i wunt be content,
tell me more,or i'll view you wit comtempt,
wad's really goin on,inside you heart?
why keep this silence,tad's tearin you apart?
let it loose,i bid thee say!
dun be shy,dun hide away,
why the humility,why the shame,
wen we all partake,of the same pain.
wad are the words,that are chocked inside,
lets be frank,n put thoughfulness aside,
be as caustic,as you wanna be,
for right now,its juz you n me.
heart,o heart,why the silence still,
your silence bids rise,to your death's keel,
there's so much more,you hafta feel,
why stifle it all,and yourself kill.
stop the selflessness,it brings me no joy,
stop the foolishness,you silly lil boi,
come to me,i'll hear your woes,
and unto 1 person,you would've told,
tho 1's a small number,it'll make a difference,
in this world,there's no such thing as self sufference,
we were made,to make that difference,
be it fer 1 person,or the whole population.
so speak up now,dun hold you tongue,
let those heavy laden,words be sung,
let those lips,tad be so tightly prised,
be loosened up,as i pry.
the truth hasta be told,it will be said,
better it be now,den wen on death bed.
wen all the words,will come to naught,
where too late are made known,the desires one sought.
let not thyself,be in this web caught,
lets stay toget,n sail thru these waters fraught.
in this time n age,who can be trusted,
wen all arnd are traitors,and their bas*****,
generation upon generations,of successive fools,
who look upon trust,as mediums or tools,
foolishly sellin em off,fer temporal gain,
all witout,the slightest bit of shame.
not tinkin about,the hurt n pain,
they happily pawn others' trust,fer social fame.
heart,o heart,juz let me say,
nothing ever happens,tomorrow today,
nothing lasts ferever,lets be on our way,
along tis road,we'll make it fade away.
never again,will the silence be kept,
let not water be,kept in by silly taps,
of self righteousness,n foolish thoughts,
but expressed and recieved,wit respect earned n fought.
the end.
Friday, March 24, 2006
underestimation
am i one tad's really really easy to underestimate?
i dunno is it cuz im always never serious,
whether i always dun seem to gif two flyin shats,
whether its juz the way i look,
the way i am.
but i find tad i always get underestimated.
even by the pple who SHOULD know better.
i dunno it be whether my abilities be in question,
or my perseverence tad be in question.
but one thing tad is true is tad wadever i put my effort in,
it will not be for nought.
i believe all tad i've achieved so far has proven tad at least.
i mite not demand excellence in much.
but you pple will see the difference in the ones i really think matter to me n the ones i dun think matter.
its highly disappointin.
do i really look tad inept?
i honestly dun tink so.
its an insult to me i swear.
like a cold water splashed into my face to sumtimes hafta deal with the shat tad by all rights,
shouldnt exist.
you pple who profess to haf adequate knowledge to call yaself my close frens should know better.
i mite knowinly make mistakes sumtimes.
i dun profess to be perfect.
i haf my wilful desires too.
but they are by no account a measure fer me to be taken into account by.
if you havent made your own identical mistakes in areas you believe to be less important in your life den congrats.i believe you belong to the elite world wit population:1 which is youself.
if i grated you amongst the hot coals tad you drag me thru,
will you pass your own tests?
if not,
do not claim a right to come n even underestimate me by my failins.
its not only appallin to my nature,
but outright hypocritical too.
and trust me.
i will despise you.
im not my beloved Jesus.
and i beg His forgiveness fer being harsh but i WILL despise you irregardless of myself not wantin to.
i will snipe at you like a hound in heat n claw off visceral chunks of your proverbial flesh n feed you to the rats fer only those lowly creatures deserve you.
i repeat again to those who would cross me,underestimate me or do anithin tad doesnt respect me as a human bein with faults.
I CAN AND WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS.
DO NOT DOUBT THE INTELLECT AND SCHEMIN BRAIN BEHIND TIS FAT AND BOUNCY FACADE.
IF I DARE TO MAKE THIS CLAIM.
I WILL FOLLOW IT THRU.
IT MITE NOT BE A PUBLIC MUALIN AND DISGRACE.
BUT I PROMISE YOU ACROSS MY DEAD BODY I'LL HURT YOU AT THE VERY LEAST.
SUMHOW.
YOU BET YOU LIFE ON IT N I'LL STAKE MY MANHOOD ON FOLLWIN THESE WORDS THRU TOO.
you havent a clue who you're messin with.
and trust me,
you dun wanna find out.
i have come to the end of my angsty blog entry.
i shall not go rip pple to shreds in gb.
yes.
i know its an old game.
but wad the heck.
its cheap amusement.
:@
p.s:dun state the bloody obvious to me?
it bloody pisses the shat outta me.
esp wen you dun grasp the concept.
p.p.s:EVERYONE GO WATCH "THE HILLS HAF EYES"
HORROR MOVIE OF THE YEAR.
I SWEAR.
EVEN I WAS SHAKIN LA.
N ITS NOT THE COLD TRUST ME.
i dunno is it cuz im always never serious,
whether i always dun seem to gif two flyin shats,
whether its juz the way i look,
the way i am.
but i find tad i always get underestimated.
even by the pple who SHOULD know better.
i dunno it be whether my abilities be in question,
or my perseverence tad be in question.
but one thing tad is true is tad wadever i put my effort in,
it will not be for nought.
i believe all tad i've achieved so far has proven tad at least.
i mite not demand excellence in much.
but you pple will see the difference in the ones i really think matter to me n the ones i dun think matter.
its highly disappointin.
do i really look tad inept?
i honestly dun tink so.
its an insult to me i swear.
like a cold water splashed into my face to sumtimes hafta deal with the shat tad by all rights,
shouldnt exist.
you pple who profess to haf adequate knowledge to call yaself my close frens should know better.
i mite knowinly make mistakes sumtimes.
i dun profess to be perfect.
i haf my wilful desires too.
but they are by no account a measure fer me to be taken into account by.
if you havent made your own identical mistakes in areas you believe to be less important in your life den congrats.i believe you belong to the elite world wit population:1 which is youself.
if i grated you amongst the hot coals tad you drag me thru,
will you pass your own tests?
if not,
do not claim a right to come n even underestimate me by my failins.
its not only appallin to my nature,
but outright hypocritical too.
and trust me.
i will despise you.
im not my beloved Jesus.
and i beg His forgiveness fer being harsh but i WILL despise you irregardless of myself not wantin to.
i will snipe at you like a hound in heat n claw off visceral chunks of your proverbial flesh n feed you to the rats fer only those lowly creatures deserve you.
i repeat again to those who would cross me,underestimate me or do anithin tad doesnt respect me as a human bein with faults.
I CAN AND WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS.
DO NOT DOUBT THE INTELLECT AND SCHEMIN BRAIN BEHIND TIS FAT AND BOUNCY FACADE.
IF I DARE TO MAKE THIS CLAIM.
I WILL FOLLOW IT THRU.
IT MITE NOT BE A PUBLIC MUALIN AND DISGRACE.
BUT I PROMISE YOU ACROSS MY DEAD BODY I'LL HURT YOU AT THE VERY LEAST.
SUMHOW.
YOU BET YOU LIFE ON IT N I'LL STAKE MY MANHOOD ON FOLLWIN THESE WORDS THRU TOO.
you havent a clue who you're messin with.
and trust me,
you dun wanna find out.
i have come to the end of my angsty blog entry.
i shall not go rip pple to shreds in gb.
yes.
i know its an old game.
but wad the heck.
its cheap amusement.
:@
p.s:dun state the bloody obvious to me?
it bloody pisses the shat outta me.
esp wen you dun grasp the concept.
p.p.s:EVERYONE GO WATCH "THE HILLS HAF EYES"
HORROR MOVIE OF THE YEAR.
I SWEAR.
EVEN I WAS SHAKIN LA.
N ITS NOT THE COLD TRUST ME.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
v fer vendetta
extreme ends of a spectrum.
hmmmz.
honestly.
i've seen certain things in the past few days tad've really shocked me.
shall blog about em another time.
watched v fer vendetta.
the show moves along rite quick so guys dun go watch it with gals.
highly annoyin wen pple are tryin to kill other pple n the girls like "WAD"S HAPPENING"
HAHAHAHA.
:))
okie.
but qi aint tad bad.
ok?
;p
kinda forgot wad i wanted to blog about.
hahaha.
i kinda got so scandalised by findin wad i was lookin fer tad i kinda totally lost focus.
heh.
i was watchin oc juz now.
and like.
it was the episode where seth makes out with both anna and summer.
hahaha.
it was bloody hilarious.
and tho its bloody outta point,
while i was in the shower,
i was wonderin.
heck.
if i was seth,
who would i choose at tis point in my life.
would i choose anna or summer.
and den.
i decided.
between anna or summer.
i would choose summer.
hahahah.
why?
cuz summer's a hell lot hotter.
:))
okie.
i know im bloody immature.
but she;s really bloody hot.
but then again.
there's a really fine line between hot n slutty.
i tink guys would agree wit me.
there are sum gals you see ina club,
sum tad dun wear anythin tad reveals much but are bloody hot n sexy n appealin and wad not.
juz by the way they are.
and den there are those tad show alot of skin,
blatantly showin off their body.
and tho they be really hot n sexy,
you dun feel like you wanna get to know em?
but they be good fer tad one night kinda.
yea.
and sumtimes you really feel so bloody wasted.
this hot ass gals be sellin emselves short.
but den again.
if i make the choice of summer,
i guess their choices work ina diff sense i guess.
oh wellz.
for the record,
i tot the line in the next episode where he's havin to choose's really funny.
"i tink he has a case of SUMMER flu,maybe he needs sum ANNAbiotics"
HAHAHAHA.
dun really know wad's my point.
shall go surf arnd a lil more den head to bed.
hmmmz.
honestly.
i've seen certain things in the past few days tad've really shocked me.
shall blog about em another time.
watched v fer vendetta.
the show moves along rite quick so guys dun go watch it with gals.
highly annoyin wen pple are tryin to kill other pple n the girls like "WAD"S HAPPENING"
HAHAHAHA.
:))
okie.
but qi aint tad bad.
ok?
;p
kinda forgot wad i wanted to blog about.
hahaha.
i kinda got so scandalised by findin wad i was lookin fer tad i kinda totally lost focus.
heh.
i was watchin oc juz now.
and like.
it was the episode where seth makes out with both anna and summer.
hahaha.
it was bloody hilarious.
and tho its bloody outta point,
while i was in the shower,
i was wonderin.
heck.
if i was seth,
who would i choose at tis point in my life.
would i choose anna or summer.
and den.
i decided.
between anna or summer.
i would choose summer.
hahahah.
why?
cuz summer's a hell lot hotter.
:))
okie.
i know im bloody immature.
but she;s really bloody hot.
but then again.
there's a really fine line between hot n slutty.
i tink guys would agree wit me.
there are sum gals you see ina club,
sum tad dun wear anythin tad reveals much but are bloody hot n sexy n appealin and wad not.
juz by the way they are.
and den there are those tad show alot of skin,
blatantly showin off their body.
and tho they be really hot n sexy,
you dun feel like you wanna get to know em?
but they be good fer tad one night kinda.
yea.
and sumtimes you really feel so bloody wasted.
this hot ass gals be sellin emselves short.
but den again.
if i make the choice of summer,
i guess their choices work ina diff sense i guess.
oh wellz.
for the record,
i tot the line in the next episode where he's havin to choose's really funny.
"i tink he has a case of SUMMER flu,maybe he needs sum ANNAbiotics"
HAHAHAHA.
dun really know wad's my point.
shall go surf arnd a lil more den head to bed.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
recap.
today i shall recap on 3 days of the last week.
namely the 14th,16th and 18th.
on the 14th,
i got a blessing in the form of a pair of tickets to Disney on Ice.
heh.
it was kinda mixed blessing cuz we were out durin the day..
and i was juz reachin home wen suddenly her fren called.
1 hour before the show.
and offered us the tickets.
den we hadta rush ina cab over to her fren's place,
get the tickets n go to stadium.
:))
the show was really magical.
its kinda amusing tad the magic of disney on ice is basically the magic tad resides in one's soul.
in recent times,
we always speak of the devil within.
but disney on ice concentrates on the angel within.
the one wit the values.
the one wit the morals.
the one wit integrity.
it was a really enjoyable exp.
:))
i loved it.
i bounced arnd in my seat.
:))
it really brought out the child in me i swear.
the innocence n all.
heh.
the next day,
went back to work in the bar.
HAHAHAHA
so much fer morals.
16th
BOILIN at DXO.
was really good stuff.
danced till my legs cramped den came home.
thanks to sky,sal the ruggers the dancers n the crazy shats like me who made it good.
18th.
which was yest.
i was really amused yest.
there was a function at my bar.
kinda like a mini party.
hahahah.
and it flopped miserably.
why????
cuz all the tix buyers were underage.
HAHAHAH!
i really felt loadsa pite fer the organisers?
cuz bascially.
the turnout was pretty good,
but all were stuck outside.
so like.
70 plus pple millin all outside,
20 a tix,
you got 1.4 k walkin outside in money tad's not gonna buy the tickets to get in.
i mean like......
really.
but i couldnt help bein amused.
hmmm.
2 pple asked me fer my no tho.
a guy n a girl.
the girl was the organiser.
who claimed i look familiar,
but i swear she's gonna complain me fer laffin.
and the guy was the organiser who wanted me to do bar fer him the next time he has a party.
HAHAHA.
ridiculous.
but supposedly the girl's sum really big shot person.
so yupz..
sum model dunno wad dunno wad.
dun really care.
up till today,
no msg from ibu(my boss)
so im safe.
tad's all i care.
HAHAHAHA
hmmmm.
wad else..
not much.
i shall go HUAT WIT FYSH!!!
oh yea.
HOLLA OUT TO ALV FER POPPIN BY.
:)
namely the 14th,16th and 18th.
on the 14th,
i got a blessing in the form of a pair of tickets to Disney on Ice.
heh.
it was kinda mixed blessing cuz we were out durin the day..
and i was juz reachin home wen suddenly her fren called.
1 hour before the show.
and offered us the tickets.
den we hadta rush ina cab over to her fren's place,
get the tickets n go to stadium.
:))
the show was really magical.
its kinda amusing tad the magic of disney on ice is basically the magic tad resides in one's soul.
in recent times,
we always speak of the devil within.
but disney on ice concentrates on the angel within.
the one wit the values.
the one wit the morals.
the one wit integrity.
it was a really enjoyable exp.
:))
i loved it.
i bounced arnd in my seat.
:))
it really brought out the child in me i swear.
the innocence n all.
heh.
the next day,
went back to work in the bar.
HAHAHAHA
so much fer morals.
16th
BOILIN at DXO.
was really good stuff.
danced till my legs cramped den came home.
thanks to sky,sal the ruggers the dancers n the crazy shats like me who made it good.
18th.
which was yest.
i was really amused yest.
there was a function at my bar.
kinda like a mini party.
hahahah.
and it flopped miserably.
why????
cuz all the tix buyers were underage.
HAHAHAH!
i really felt loadsa pite fer the organisers?
cuz bascially.
the turnout was pretty good,
but all were stuck outside.
so like.
70 plus pple millin all outside,
20 a tix,
you got 1.4 k walkin outside in money tad's not gonna buy the tickets to get in.
i mean like......
really.
but i couldnt help bein amused.
hmmm.
2 pple asked me fer my no tho.
a guy n a girl.
the girl was the organiser.
who claimed i look familiar,
but i swear she's gonna complain me fer laffin.
and the guy was the organiser who wanted me to do bar fer him the next time he has a party.
HAHAHA.
ridiculous.
but supposedly the girl's sum really big shot person.
so yupz..
sum model dunno wad dunno wad.
dun really care.
up till today,
no msg from ibu(my boss)
so im safe.
tad's all i care.
HAHAHAHA
hmmmm.
wad else..
not much.
i shall go HUAT WIT FYSH!!!
oh yea.
HOLLA OUT TO ALV FER POPPIN BY.
:)
Monday, March 13, 2006
wheedledeedum
lallaa.
went out wit baby today.
was really realy tired cuza trainin yest.
man.
lets whine bout yest 1st.
let it fo down on the record tad i promised myself tad i would never stop runnin altogetehr fer too long a time.
heh.
obviously,
i didnt really keep to tad very well.
niwaez.
since i stopped runnin about exactly a year ago,
at least pure all out sprintin continously,
the last time bein after tournament,
suffice to say,
it wasnt a very nice sight to see me,
tired from work,
den wakin fer church,
an hour plus of fast paced dance,
followed byt 2 hours of ghey soccer,
by the end of the session.
i was pantin so badly i couldnt swallow.
i hadta spit out my saliva.
hahah.
those pple who exercise aft a long while gheyly prob understand wad i mean.
but pride n all demanded i couldnt gif up halfway so stuck it thru.
hmmm.
thus i had aching back n legs n neck today wen i went out so i was really really grumpy.
plus my money's growin wings again so im really frustrated.
i needta keep my cash flow down i swear.
hmmm.
niwaez.
we watched shaggy dog today.
n the movie's really good.
its a kinda fimaly show kinda.
:))
so twas pretty sweet.
plus it was nice to sit down n juz relax fer once insteada runnin all over the place as usual.
hmmm.
den we walked arnd a lil bit n all.
had this really sinful choc cake from nydc,
sumthing called the "THAt sumthin stumhin"
but its ghey.
fat++.
but its really sweet.
if only the place was aircon it would be better.
warm choc cake plus warm weather dun make it really feel good yea??
hmmm.
wad else.
n i came home.
n im restin my ass now.
YAY.
i wanna get the stupid usb wire fer my phone.
shall go searchin fer it tml.
NIWAE!!!!
TO ALL OF YOU WHO DUNNO!!!
ITS MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY SO GOI WISH HER HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
went out wit baby today.
was really realy tired cuza trainin yest.
man.
lets whine bout yest 1st.
let it fo down on the record tad i promised myself tad i would never stop runnin altogetehr fer too long a time.
heh.
obviously,
i didnt really keep to tad very well.
niwaez.
since i stopped runnin about exactly a year ago,
at least pure all out sprintin continously,
the last time bein after tournament,
suffice to say,
it wasnt a very nice sight to see me,
tired from work,
den wakin fer church,
an hour plus of fast paced dance,
followed byt 2 hours of ghey soccer,
by the end of the session.
i was pantin so badly i couldnt swallow.
i hadta spit out my saliva.
hahah.
those pple who exercise aft a long while gheyly prob understand wad i mean.
but pride n all demanded i couldnt gif up halfway so stuck it thru.
hmmm.
thus i had aching back n legs n neck today wen i went out so i was really really grumpy.
plus my money's growin wings again so im really frustrated.
i needta keep my cash flow down i swear.
hmmm.
niwaez.
we watched shaggy dog today.
n the movie's really good.
its a kinda fimaly show kinda.
:))
so twas pretty sweet.
plus it was nice to sit down n juz relax fer once insteada runnin all over the place as usual.
hmmm.
den we walked arnd a lil bit n all.
had this really sinful choc cake from nydc,
sumthing called the "THAt sumthin stumhin"
but its ghey.
fat++.
but its really sweet.
if only the place was aircon it would be better.
warm choc cake plus warm weather dun make it really feel good yea??
hmmm.
wad else.
n i came home.
n im restin my ass now.
YAY.
i wanna get the stupid usb wire fer my phone.
shall go searchin fer it tml.
NIWAE!!!!
TO ALL OF YOU WHO DUNNO!!!
ITS MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY SO GOI WISH HER HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, March 11, 2006
everybody do the mess around.
heh.
ray is showin on HBO today at 9.
yummy yummy.
but im woarkin.:@
oh wells.
life's kinda taken on its mundance form again.
procrastination rules in the form tad i havent started trainin fer ns YET.
hahaha.
oh wellz.
soccer tml should take care of my lack of motivation to start i guess.
tml this boots shall eat grass!!!:))
bartendin's kinda gettin a bit stale to me cuz the pple seem to haf their zest of me to take over bar flattened down by in office politics plus tad they have a whole loada new staff to train.
fysh is also bein primed to take over bar cuz they need bartender next month.
whilst i enter in the patriotic duty of nation serving.
i have decided to chiong like hell durin the 1st 3 months.
den if they dun offer me ocs,
i shall opt fer safsa n play hockey fer my whole national service.
:))
YAY!
money's a really pain in the ass i swear.
:@
sighz.
i need moar money,
i need more driving lessons,
i need more time in life.
i need more rest,
i need more love,
i need more God,
i need more grace n mercy.
oh wellz.
PRAY!!!!.:))
ray is showin on HBO today at 9.
yummy yummy.
but im woarkin.:@
oh wells.
life's kinda taken on its mundance form again.
procrastination rules in the form tad i havent started trainin fer ns YET.
hahaha.
oh wellz.
soccer tml should take care of my lack of motivation to start i guess.
tml this boots shall eat grass!!!:))
bartendin's kinda gettin a bit stale to me cuz the pple seem to haf their zest of me to take over bar flattened down by in office politics plus tad they have a whole loada new staff to train.
fysh is also bein primed to take over bar cuz they need bartender next month.
whilst i enter in the patriotic duty of nation serving.
i have decided to chiong like hell durin the 1st 3 months.
den if they dun offer me ocs,
i shall opt fer safsa n play hockey fer my whole national service.
:))
YAY!
money's a really pain in the ass i swear.
:@
sighz.
i need moar money,
i need more driving lessons,
i need more time in life.
i need more rest,
i need more love,
i need more God,
i need more grace n mercy.
oh wellz.
PRAY!!!!.:))
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
the march onward into inevitability.
im in the stage of emotional numbness tad basically is explained as a sponge.
i.e im wrung dry.
:)
i've been on an emtional roller coaster tad's basically pissin me off n for once,
i really feel so pissed off with everyone n everything arnd me tad at the slightest provocation,
i'll go off like a ton of dynamite.
which leads a ton of bricks fallin.
which is how i'll come upon tad unfortunate person/thing tad gets in my way.
sighz.
isnt it such a bloody irony tad wen you want the whole world to stop by and ask you juz wad is the matter,
it marches on,
oblivious to everything?
and you find yourself trudgin on,
numb to it all,
lurchin forward,
till the time where you finally find your feet.
there are certain things in life tad really bother me.
my low self esteem being one.
and sumtimes it bugs me tad pple seem so oblivious to it n their words which should bounce off,
actually permeate and do some damage within.
i dunno.
do i look very strong,
hostile against the world?
but then again.
if i dun,
i prob would get stomped all over by everyone so im not exactly repentant.
if i hadta choose btw lookin strong n having to deal with my probs myself,
i would choose to remain lookin strong n aloof.
lonely shat > too much shat.
i really dunno wad to say or do.
hmmm.
thank God work's comin up so i can relax in the false security of routine again.
hmmm.
i wanan go beach.
anyone??
for vball.
if you dun play,go away!!!!:))
dam it rimes.:))
i remember a qoute of mine from way way way back.
the isle of self pity is never fun when you're alone.
you ready to leave there?
i.e im wrung dry.
:)
i've been on an emtional roller coaster tad's basically pissin me off n for once,
i really feel so pissed off with everyone n everything arnd me tad at the slightest provocation,
i'll go off like a ton of dynamite.
which leads a ton of bricks fallin.
which is how i'll come upon tad unfortunate person/thing tad gets in my way.
sighz.
isnt it such a bloody irony tad wen you want the whole world to stop by and ask you juz wad is the matter,
it marches on,
oblivious to everything?
and you find yourself trudgin on,
numb to it all,
lurchin forward,
till the time where you finally find your feet.
there are certain things in life tad really bother me.
my low self esteem being one.
and sumtimes it bugs me tad pple seem so oblivious to it n their words which should bounce off,
actually permeate and do some damage within.
i dunno.
do i look very strong,
hostile against the world?
but then again.
if i dun,
i prob would get stomped all over by everyone so im not exactly repentant.
if i hadta choose btw lookin strong n having to deal with my probs myself,
i would choose to remain lookin strong n aloof.
lonely shat > too much shat.
i really dunno wad to say or do.
hmmm.
thank God work's comin up so i can relax in the false security of routine again.
hmmm.
i wanan go beach.
anyone??
for vball.
if you dun play,go away!!!!:))
dam it rimes.:))
i remember a qoute of mine from way way way back.
the isle of self pity is never fun when you're alone.
you ready to leave there?
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