the march onward into inevitability.

im in the stage of emotional numbness tad basically is explained as a sponge.
i.e im wrung dry.
:)

i've been on an emtional roller coaster tad's basically pissin me off n for once,
i really feel so pissed off with everyone n everything arnd me tad at the slightest provocation,
i'll go off like a ton of dynamite.
which leads a ton of bricks fallin.
which is how i'll come upon tad unfortunate person/thing tad gets in my way.

sighz.
isnt it such a bloody irony tad wen you want the whole world to stop by and ask you juz wad is the matter,
it marches on,
oblivious to everything?
and you find yourself trudgin on,
numb to it all,
lurchin forward,
till the time where you finally find your feet.

there are certain things in life tad really bother me.
my low self esteem being one.
and sumtimes it bugs me tad pple seem so oblivious to it n their words which should bounce off,
actually permeate and do some damage within.
i dunno.
do i look very strong,
hostile against the world?
but then again.
if i dun,
i prob would get stomped all over by everyone so im not exactly repentant.
if i hadta choose btw lookin strong n having to deal with my probs myself,
i would choose to remain lookin strong n aloof.
lonely shat > too much shat.

i really dunno wad to say or do.
hmmm.
thank God work's comin up so i can relax in the false security of routine again.
hmmm.
i wanan go beach.
anyone??
for vball.
if you dun play,go away!!!!:))
dam it rimes.:))

i remember a qoute of mine from way way way back.

the isle of self pity is never fun when you're alone.

you ready to leave there?