so dark the disconsolation of man.

hmmm.
stolen line from da vinci code n adapted to my own emotions.
hmmm.

field camp looms in the near future.
my flu still hasnt gone.
and im determined it shall not affect me.
sometimes i wonder if my ipod has a brain.
it seems to know my moods.
times where im sad n wanna be lifted up,
bouncy songs stream into my ear.
wen im sad and wanna be malecholy,
it sends lonesome n painful songs of recollection n dealin wit emotions,
wen im high a contant cascade of bouncy clubby songs hit me wit extra bass.

this mornin however.
it was the 2nd.

i find myself being really too much of an idealist.
but now i begin to understand someone else's pain a lot more.
someone from my past.
why the tears n the bitter emotions.
now i finally get it.

bein an idealist opens up many doors fer disappointment.
i was extremely disappointed wit my army life till i sounded out wit my bunk mates.
tad's juz one of the many.

but nuf wit the sidetrackin.
suffice to say within me is alot of pain.
alot of disappointment.
and yea.
lessons learnt.
but yea.
never again.

love is sumthin tad can never be given n should never be given too easily.
it should never be taken fer granted but should be treasured.
things tad are there miten be there ferever.


sighz.
i gif up la.
im juz not in the mood to swing words.
i cant properly express myself witout naming names.
and since i cant.
i shall not express myself then.
wad a ridiculous situation pls.
sighz.