shrugs

i wrote a dam long entry.
its in my draft.
i felt like shat,
read it n felt even worse.

i have a dull ache in my heart cuza fear of a decision i hafta make.
n the fear of losin tad sum1 special.
but since it has more or less been settled.
i shall not bother bloggin it anymore.
i juz had a really bad heartache wen i tot was goin to lose this person.

oh wellz.
shall blog bout more interestin things now since tad heartbreak thing no longer is of importance to your knowledge.
i shall read it in my saved drafts.:)

k.
wad happened today besides tad.
it was a pretty good day i guess.
i met her,played pool n chilled n all.
but i shant go there cuz i talked bout it in the draft.

now.
aft tad i went wit my sista to her aerobics/dance/fightin thing.
to sum up my rewards,
i haf a ankle cramp,a calf cramp AND A BUTT CRAMP.
ankle was pretty early but cuz my ankles are like designed to take punishment it didnt really matter.
:)
1st up was dance.
quite funky,
not really tiring.
alot of grindin n thank God i wore underwear today lest my ahem wobbled n came loose.
all the hip motion i tell you,
den still gotta jerk one.
so like the gals do DAM easy.
buys do got momentum so gotta take it easy.
if not sumthin mite spoil.
heh.
den not much problem,juz the ankle abit pain.
den came the killer.

sum fightin aerobics thing.
you gotta keep ya arms up n clenched to protect ya face n all rite?
juz maybe my there got no more muscles.
so they were really wobbly n couldnt take it.
den hadta keep bouncin to keep the rhythm up.
den die.
halfway thru,
the 1st song only.
my calf macham cramp.
cuz i got a dam lazy left leg so my rite leg was workin overtime,
so like yea.
cramp.
den dam unglam.
den at that exact moment,
the instructer goes "now we kick"
den i was like "shat"
den my kicks were dam unglam la.
like a duck waddlin n doin kungfu tad kinda kick cuz the muscle dam tight.
den even worse.
my left leg's like dead,
so it doesnt acknowledge tad its supposed to kick at any point in time.
so basically,
the instructor's like "now we switchover,left kick,5,6,7,8"
everyone kicks left n i kick rite.
-_-'''
den it keeps on GOIN on n ON!!!!
dam irritatin.
and den the grandmaster of cramps happened.
we were doin this punch-duck-punch combo n you hafta go really low,
den we did it so many times,
den my butt cramped.
den my kicks became really quite small motions n all.
den aft the music stopped,
i bent down to catch my breath.
bad mistake.
lagi cramp.
den kena owned.
i fell on my ass.
really quite abit the unglam.
im really dam outta shape now.
grrr.
wad else.
oh yes!
the whole place was like a stage tad like EVERYONE can see la.
so like the pple in the cafe were prob laffin their asses off at us tryin to kep fit.
so horrible ungalm.
tsktsktsktskt.
ahahah.
but it was a good workout.
den i came home to eat maggi mee n nullified everythin.
lol.
oh wellz.
cant haf everythin in life.
:)

im happy one again cuz a certain sum1's talkin to me again.
:)

its over.now the angst begins?

you know.
today defines the day of mixed emotions.
so here i am,
happily finishin up my last paper of the messed up As,
and the 1st thing i hear is my mummy callin me,
askin me how the paper went,
and then askin me to go home n pack up my room to prepare fer visitors.
tad despite me tellin her before i took the paper tad im goin to fysh's house to play wow.
never mind.
den my class won a kfc voucher.
so they wanted to go enjoy,
so i turned em down cuz i figured my mummy needed help n its the right thing to do.
so i rush home n sort out all my stuff so wen she comes back everythin can be done really quickly.
im done within 15 mins.
she called mi at 340 tellin me she was juz buyin boxes n she'll be back.
i reach home at 350.
i wait till bloody 650 till she comes home,
seethin away gettin more pissed.
in the 3 hours i could've wowed,taken kfc.
never mind.
knowin full well my intentions,
she happily keeps draggin time n draggin time.
so i choose to believe tad she forgot.
so i juz ask her if she needs my help anymoer.
if not i shall go.
and she has the bloogy angst to come scream n throw temper at me aft?
i mean like wtf.
i do all you ask me to.
aft tad i go find sumthin tad i wanan do n i get yelled at cuza it?
its not fiar ainit.

not to mention.
they keep promisin me a computer.
this saga has been told thru my sec school yrs all the way up till now.
every single time they get my hopes up n then say "next yr,study's more impt"
every yr i take the fall as it comes n dun say anithin.
well well.
surprise again.
tis yr it happens again?
the much vaunted "aft A's" time comes n hey!its not comin.
so wen you cant gimme a com,
i wanan go find means to play my game,
basically,
i do not see wad rite do you hafta be angst at me cuz basically you're juz angry tad im searchin fer things i want which i tink is absolutely ridiculous.

den my father.
domineerin sob happily asks me every single day wen i'll be lookin fer a job.
i mean fer pete's sake la.
my job has absolutely NOTHING to do with you so stfu.
ok?

sorry fer the explicit language but i hate crushed hopes.
muz of the time aft 7 yrs of failed hopes wrt to the com you'll tink i'll be jaded to it but it was really high tis time cuz there was "no other studies" behind tis.
and wen i fall i dun take it very well.
so everyone juz step the hell back n let me vent my angst if not i wunt be the nice guy i usually am.

the reason why my mummy's gettin so flustered bout the house bein spick n span's cuza sum cell group pple comin over on like the 10th of the next month.
n the point i cant understand is why its almuz a whole bloody month away n you're freakin out now.
you cant exterminate dust.
it gathers.
you'er much better off cleanin it closer to tyhe date rite?
makes more sense.
closer to the date,
less time to mess the house up,less time for dust to gather.
its sensible thing to do.
im willin to bet my left testicle tad imma hafta help her clean up the whole dam house again before the time comes.
and it hasta be spotless.
i know her standards.

anyway,
the crux of the matter is tad she hasta set a good impression fer those pple comin over.
which is totally ridiculous to me cuz it feels so fake.
im sicka hypocrites aight.
and now we hafta be ones too?
i've lived my entire life despisin em n now i bow to the pressure of the bloody world?
pple who know me know i tell it as wad i feel it is.
i dun hedge my words i cut to the crux of the issue.
i dun see why the hell i hafta neaten up the place to tad extent.
if sum was comin over,
TIDYIN up the place is understood.
aft all
its parta bein a good host.
but basically cleanin the whole dam palce up till even the walls are clean is excessive.
but tad's not wad im tryin to get at.

i dun see who the hell tis pple are to judge.
basically,
it means everyone of you lil assclowns out there who keep slef invitin yaself into other pple's sanctus sanctorum.
basically put,houses.
the reason you wanna go into the hosue is yo wanan see how the person lives n all.
but WHO THE HELL DIED N MADE YOU GOD TO GO JUDGE PPLE BY WHETHER THEY"RE NEAT OR NOT.
take tad idea n the horse you rode in on n shove it up ya ass.
its utter bullshat.
you're tellin me yuo've never left the newspaper in the toilet aft your mornin posturin on the throne?
never forgot to flush the toilet cuz its late at nite?
never forgot to fold ya towel on the rack nicely before leavin?
never forgot to arrange ya books neatly?
never left thigns lyin arnd?
WHO THE HELL gifs you the right to judge pple by the way they present emselves wen you yaself have your own flaws.
you're like a friggin pseudo perfectionist tad only feels perfect from laffin at other's fualts.
which to me makes you a bloody loer n a fraud.
basically put.
you suck n the world'll be a better palce witout pple of your trivial existence pollutin tis ecosphere.
so bsically,
everyone should juz come to terms wit emselves so pple like my mummy can sit back n relax n ENJOY bein a host insteada worryin bout wad alla you lil pricks tink.

*takes deep breath*
im done.
paper was pretty decent.
hopefully my grades are good nuf to get into uni.
anyone wit a goof job offer pls msg me?
im available till april.
im goin job huntin tml so yea.
pls holla asap aight?
good stuff.
im gone to see if wow has rebooted its server yet.:)

i hate exams.

hmmm.
things change really quickly wen you wanna take charge of ya life.
i often wonder if i had started studyin barely a coupla months earlier if things'll be so much better now.
i had a potential of about TWO whole bloody grades tad i could've gotten if i had juz had more experience,
but cuz i didnt,
i was unable to produce in the exam hall.
sigh.
ridiculous.
but its over its over.
i figure i'll be in good shape next yr if i keep it up.
to retake this stupid thing i guess.
sighz.
i hate myself at times like this.
ridiculous i say.
oh wellz.
shall not mopeth much longer.
shall return to the world of muggin dammit.
blah blah blah blah.
im rambling.
so be it.
hahahaha
i wanna watch HARRY!!!!!!
i got e funniest group ever to go watch it wit tho.
hahahah.
watchin it wit the whole group of students from my math tuition.
hahaha.
weird.
dam.
im really rambling like shat.
disjointed tots.
hahaha.
cant even rem wad i wanted to start sayin.
hahaha.
i shall blog again wen im more coherent.

hahahaah.:)
i wanna wow.

things you never tink will happen.

today was glorious math.
and thank God,
it was doable.
i haf a total of 24 marks worth of questions tad i didnt present an answer for.
but chances are,
of tad 24 marks,
i would get about maybe 5 or 6 due to workin cuz i juz found out tad i was along the rite track fer my vectors question but i gaf it up cuz i didnt tink it was plausible.
basically,
the key to the part 2 of tad questions was tad there were 3 variables.
which i had.
now how angsty am i gonna get?
none.
hahahaha.
why?
cuz im tired.
so yea.
i gotta continue burnin fer the next 48 hours flat till aft math paper 2 den i can go sleep.

so pray fer mi?
its gonna be a hard 48 hours.
imma be chuggin down tea,coffee n chicken essence.
i ish i had a camera to take my eyebags with.
i tink they're really impressive.:)
like WHOA kinda impressive.:)

i kinda haf tis fatalistic mentality goin on in my head now.
hmmm.
i really miss a certain person.
its really funny how barely a month later aft you make a decision,
wen the repercussions n the real impact of tad choice hits you,
wen everythin fades away,
you kinda feel morsels of regret.
its seems so highly ironic.
i really tink my latest lyrics are so dam true.
we're all victims of our destiny.
bound by the things we hafta do,
bound by the so called "rite ways of goin about life"
can a man change his fortune?
can i man actually change God's plan for him?
if our lives are actually all planned out alr,
den its unfathomable tad our dear God above actually planned an existence fer us in which tad we suffer so much.
lessons wen learnt should lift us to a state in which we should become happier.
but yet?
lessons pile upon lessons.
if the statement tad the learnin never ends,
does tad not mean we're bound to live life in misery ferever?
tad's really such a bitch ainit.

the new situation now tad my muggin has slowed down and i finally realised it sucks.
things changed so much.
barely a coupla weeks.
n everythin's changed.
part of me's happy tad she listened and moved on.
part of me bemoans my decision despite its "righteousness"
maybe its time fer me to move on as well.
maybe its juz cuz im feelin so tired n weak now.
maybe its juz she's had the time to go out n socialise more which is why she can find another so quick n leave everythin behind..
maybe it'll be the same fer me once the bloody papers are over.

so many damned maybes.
probabilities.
inconsequential.
meaningless.
everythin's meaningless.
rite now.
everyone n everyting should juz return to ashes.

"from ashes i come,ashes i will return"

tad is like so a misquote,
but like it gets my point across.
im gone.
time to go back to meaningless toil.
i really cant figure how's all this bullshat gonna help mi in my teachin of english next time.
sheesh.

you wonder.

in my boredom,
i wrote tis lil ditty.

v1:
we are all victims of our own destiny,
am i e only one,who sees the irony,
battered in by the things we're supposed to do,
tired of hearin "do e rite thing,it'll all come to you"

Chorus:
cuz we're all victims of our destiny,
if you were tinkin,you'll agree wit me,
pple cryin out fer strength.
where's the hope to ease my pain,
where's the light to turn this hellish darkness to day.

v2:
where's the hope of this meaningless night,
where's e stars tad make the night sky bright,
future's loomin and it doesnt seem too bright,
time's not waitin should i gif u or should i fight.

bridge:
so God above,
i'm cryin out,
show m e way,
to survive is rout,
take away,
my load today,
let me not fall,
in tis forsaken place.


its such a sad thing.
tad like despite all,
we're still stuck in the system tad threatens to bind us forever.
individualism is lost.
is anyone so diff from the next.
e defination of a singaporean teen.
"some one who goes to school n is constant struggle to be the best wit a thirst tad never seems to be quenched even at the cost of losin their souls"
look arnd you.
EVERY single teen is either in poly or jc.
everyone is either a mugger,or tryin to be one.
everyone strives to be the best.
and why not?
after all,
its their life to lead.
in tad sense,
look at the new rankin fer unis.
our beloved n cherished NUS,stands at a proud 8 or 9 compared internationally.
but yet in the workin world,
in a report taken,
NUS grads are not tad favored by employers.
they rank at about 30-40.
cant remember the exact thing.
juz seems pathetic tad despite havin the top uni,
we're basically churnin out robots.
mindless automatons tad go into the world to continue the grind against its system but a slave to it cuza the quintessential element called : money.
pathetic wad it has made us do to ourselves.
but unavoidable i guess.

i was readin a coupla y archives entries.
not the ones here.
as in the old blog.
speakin of which,
i should link back there.
hmm.
but yea.
the tone's so different.
lil things tad made me smile to joyously now seem so plain n unme.
its weird n yet it realyl saddenin.
but oh wellz.
the world continues spinnin.
whether i like it or not,
basically,
i shall still be driven on aimlessly cuz tad is life of a singaporean teen.
only the government can stop tis mindless push,
but den again,
how do you stop the momentum built up fer 3 generations of pple believin in this mindset.
you cant.
you hear em screamin out fer tinkin pple.
den you see gahmen takin steps to promote "active tinkin"
but how can there be active tinkin wen everyone's mind's basically a cloned copy of the others'?
ridiculous aint it?

shrugs.
shall not whine no more.
2 weeks.
it'll all be over.
fer better or worse.
im determined to let it get me down.
i gif it all i got.
if it aint nuf,
den too bad,
imma hafta find my way in the world myself.
n so be it.
niwaez.
level 22 shammy.
lololol.
but yet even tad's startin to pale fer me.
sheesh.


-----------------------
oh yea.
gotta advertise.

RENDEVOUS @ GOTHAM PENTHOUSE
5TH DECEMBER
10-5 a.m,
$15 bux a tick,
1 free shot per tick
hip hop,top 40s all nite long,
1 FOR 1 ALL NITE LONG.
shots at $5
you get to reserve tables too.
either tag me,
msg mi or tis number fer tix.
90170656

if you were pjc show a face,
its the 1st party,
if you were from mshs,
show a face,
its our very own sky's organisin,
if you're in pjc now,
show a face,
lets start havin stuff to be proud off,
if you're basically free on tad day,
show a face,
it'll be fun to see prom outfits n clubfits on the dance floor toget.

victims of our own destiny

you know.
the way things are lookin to me rite now.
i tink even the muz enthusiastic side of me's gonna be collapsin n admittin defeat soon.
maybe tis whole jc thing really is not the route fer me.
for all my hopes,my faith in myself.
its juz not happenin.
and it really hurts.
sighz.
3yrs in tis place.
and ive grown.
loads.
but yet.
i come away with nothin tad'll stand up as potentially useful to the world.
and then again you ask.
why the hoohah about holistic education if in the end,
nothing counts fer nought except fer the papers you hold in your hand.
i figure if all else fails,
im gonna teach P.E fer about 4 yrs once im outta ns.
and then i'll save tad money to go overseas n study fer a yr or so.
i'll slowly work my englsh degree out from nothing.
sighz.
and den i'll come back n teach.
the dream life i wanna lead'll still be achievable,
but the time i haf to live it'll be shorter.
sighz.
it really hurts.
im really depressed as of now.
but then again.
no one really cares rite?:)
ahahahah.
wad a wonderful world.
we have songs screamin "spread the love"
and den we haf multifaceted facades of interests.
i really have lost faith in the wholehumankind.

hmmm.
maybe not guys.
maybe cuz i've been blessed wit good bros.
i've got fysh n alv in the recent yrs,
and my bros like dud,josh,giant,tim who've been in my life one way or the other fer the past few yrs.
strange funny perspectives.
but it sucks in the end wen you get down to it.
immma juz rambling but yet relationships are so hard to upkep even wen parties fully understand n appreciate each other.
and if its tis hard fer bro-bro relationship,
wad more a guy-gal.

gals are enigmatic creatures.
you never really can figure em out.
even wen you do,
chances are you wunt even know cuz of a thing called PMS.
so once again.
true understandin doesnt exist in relationships.
to me its more a form of mutual tolerance.
and once tad tolerance is gone,
nothing's gonna hold the two pple together.
so much fer the power of love.
im bein highly antheist,
but i really cant care about it now.
lala.
im gone.
gonna play stupid online games before i go back n study.
:@

i shall buy wow tml.
fysh-wanna come toget dude?msg mi.

sighz.ridiculous things to do.

hmmm.
im really stressed i tink.
all at the same time,
highly hilarious things i've been doin.
i've been doin ALOT of stupid stuff tad makes mi seem retarded.
sayin things,
doin things witout tinkin,
basically,
doin crazy things to tryta retain my sanity.
i shall not go into details rite now,
but suffice to say,
i'll get shot in america if i say it over the dinner table,
plus it makes me look really REALLY depraved.
HAHAHAHA
sighz.
really beeen doin stupid things.
but at least it'll be kept to the halls of pjc la.
i hope.
HAHAHAHA
the only reason why im doin shat thar's cuz imjma leavin tad place niwae.
so doesnt matter.
HAHAAH
unless i get back as a P.E teacher next yr.
den im screwed.
HAHAAHAH.
speakin of which,
i gotta apply now.
bb ina sec.


GRRR.
the bloody online application's not catered towards pple stressed.
bloody hell.
so darn difficult LA!!!!!!
tink i shall go there directly n apply.
basket.
:@
nex time i go fer raf i shall head over early den go sign up.
sighz.
ANGST.


as i was sayin.
if im talkin to you now,
pls dun take me seriously,
you're prob gonna get mighty offended.
HAHAHA.
excuse my manners.
but yea.
i really cant care.
i juz wan tis ordeal to be over.
sighz.

jeez.

lol.
all you pple out there dam cartoon.
there's nuttin funny bout it wad.
its juz lame spammin.
i tot the soup kambing bit was dam funny tho.
the theme was supposed to be fast food la.
lol.
niwaez.
i swear if i go to a psychaitrist now i'll get myself cinically diagnosed as depressed.
tad's low low i feel now.
yay.
:@

whoopeee.

hmmm.
this blog kinda suffered a cardiac arrest.
lol.
niwaez.
IT LIVES!!!!!!:) yay.
hmmm.
wad has been goin on.
im officially becomin a lil mugger.
its horrifyin,
i beat myself stupid all day against the table tad is COE n all the other remedials in school.
im also totally BUTT BORED.
i need sumthin in school to do besides look at books n feel stupid,
talk to my mats n feel stupid.
look at pple in class n feel lazy.
you kinda get my drift alr.
all my frens advice is the same.
one of 2 options.

option 1:go study la.

:@
up yours.

option 2:get a new trix la.
which my answer would be a resoundin "WHO."
its really dam hard to find a decent lookin gal in school pls.
maybe i really have set my standards too high.
i dun understand why everyone tells mi "you should really lower your standards"
like gee pls.
i know how much im worth.
i believe tad God has the best for me.
why should i settle for sumthin less.
it juz doesnt make sense.
*shrugs*
added to the fact,
i've come a long way from the days where my body was tight n like muscular.
so like yea pls.
the no of glances i get in school have dropped drastically.
HAHAHAHAHA
gee pls.
i make it sound like imma pop star.
sighz.
life's juz weird la.
i shant comment further.
it juz sucks.
plus the fact tad i havent "played the field" fer so long i prob cant remember howta start.
oh wellz.
there's always university WEN i get there.
*all note the confidence injected in the above statement*
sighz.
im bored shatless.
i aint got a new trix.
to sum it up.
;(
imma in a rut,
tad's gonna last another 1 month n 2 weeks.
till the A's are over,
i doubt there're be genuine happiness in my life fer the indefinite future unless sumthin unexpected n wonderful which i've been hopin fer happens.
which i dun even know wad it is.
but it kinda goes along the line of a really hot gal comin up wit a really cool device tad lets me store all my A level stuff within and hour within my brain,den i'll marry her n we'll earn lotsa money n go travel the world n make lil hot babes n dudes.
YAY.
gah.:@:@:@@:@:@:@:

i wanna 40 yr old virgin.
any old nuf person wanna go watch.
its fer >18 pple pls.
gah.
angst angst frustration frustration.
imma go write a song tonight.
tml's farewell assembly.
gee pls.
cant wait!!!
i wonder wad's ins store fer us.
lemme guess.
MR KWEK's GONNA TALK!!:)
yay.
THE BAND IS GONNA PLAY!!
WOW.
THE DANCE CLUB'S GONNA ...*GUESS GUESS!!!!* ^CORRECT!!!!!^ THEY'RE GONNA DANCE.
fer all the good tad'll do.
everyone's got so much make up on it look like krusty the clown did make p on em.
but at least the make up helps.
imaginary temporal eye candies fer amusement.
im always highly bemused by corny dance steps pls.
i end up laffin at the dance steps insteada check the chicks out.
HAHAHAHAHA
but its relaly butt hilarious.
*SNORTS SNORTS*
sorry but i got high expectations wen it comes to dance to pls.
why.
cuz i dance.
HAHAHAAHAHA
bleahz.
i tink imma bit psychotic now.
i shall juz stop rambling incoherent rubbish here.
YAYAYAYAAYAYAAYAYAY
papaya
here's the bored jokes i came up wit in clas to amuse myself.


why did the potato go to france?

S:to become a french fry.

why did the cod swim across the river?

S:to become filet-o-fysh

why did the cow run across the road?

S:to become Whopper.

why did the chicken cross the road?

s:to visit KFC or become a Mchicken

why did the mushroom scurry to switzerland?

S:to become mushroom swiss.

why did the lamb roll across the road?




































S: to become soup KAMBING.

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
imlame.
hail bored stupid lazy boy.
i wanna WOW.:@
my shaman's in stasis.
i need to reawake the BEAST!!!

bleah.
its been really long sinced i last blogged.
im here,
im still alive,
eh.
wad else.
pineapples suck on pizza.
im still allergic to kfc.
:@
eh.
prelims results suck.
didnt even achieve sum of my goals.
bleahz.
but i was qim fer ridiculous ones niwaez.
ou dun go from an F to an A in 3 weeks.
sighz.

angst.
gotta go off soon.

juz use to com to transfer sean paul n bon jovi's album.
now i shall go.
:@

hmm.

wokay.
exams are over,
sorry to all my classmates fer not makin the outin today..
parents would've kick a fuss.
hmmm.
wad else.
yest was a crappy day.
seems like everyone hadta take a whack at mi.
probably it was "shat on ben day" yest.
gah.
cant remember wen was the last time i got scolded so many times in one day.
angst.
niwaez.
clubbin was pretty sad,
but it prob was the best club ambience tad i experienced alr.
compared to the clark quay one,to china,
tis prob was the best place to club.
not too crowded,
the shots are decently priced.
was really a much better place to dance.
the floor was pretty spacious,
but i guess it was cuz its a thurs.
heh.:)
so in all.
managed to dance and get pretty relaxed.
wen i got enough space to move imma happy man la.
heh.
unfortunately,
due to family complications,
it was a very short time clubbin.
only properly clubbed fer a really short time.
go figure.
im quite angsty about it.
but oh wellz.
wad to do pls.
at least i could dance fer a while n chill i gues.
we went to momo 1st.
den it was a ridiculous queue,
so we went over to double o.
and man.
things were alot better there.
tho i didnt get to se how momo's like.
i haf this strange affliction towards double o cuz of the ambience.
sumthin relaxin about it tad puts mi at ease.
made a couple of auz dudes as well.
ended up talkin quite long wit em cuz the dance floor was closed fer a while due to sum performance.
heh.
i tellyou.
i like foreigners more den local clubbers.
they're somuch more frenly.
tad's wad it should be like.
pple juz comin toget to chill n dance n have a good time.
not get drunk,
smoke n get stupidly high.
sheesh.
oh wellz.
i've made my stand on clubbin pretty clear a coupla posts ago.
so i shall not do it again.

hmmm.
and i wanted to bring up tis issue.
its another hard question.
wad makes a bikini less stumbling..
i heard the opinion of my pastors tad she tinks tad bikinis are stumblin n tad gals from church shouldnt wear em while out wit church guys.
wad i cant get is tad if the're gonna wear it on other occasions,
its not any less stumblin to the guys on the beach,
so mite as well benefit the church dudes and let us see rite.
after all.
at least its your frens tad ogle at you.
sheesh.
dunno pls.
one of the stupid things tad you remember during your prelim period.
its like suddenly ive been havin stupid flashbacks of this kinda stupid shat.
thus my 3 questions way below,
my perceptions n all.
shrugs.
who cares.
imma go take a shat.

ITS OVER!!!!!

WOOHOOO!
its over!
heh.
prelims are over.
its time to party.
YAY!
man.
i am so psyched.:)
added to the fact tad i got my own wow acc courtesy of matt n fysh.:)
ten day pass wit a level 20 cap.:)
imma hit tad cap.:)
MUAHAHAHAHA!
i really tink tad game is da bomb pls.
hmmm.
niwaez.
the prelims are over.
imma due a break.
imma go tan tml.
and if all goes well.
wen te nite comes.
fat boy here's headin to club.:)
yay.
man.
i need to really relax.
imma be tryin to put music on my blog.:)
YAY
and its amusing how no one said anithin bout my 3 questions.
hahahaha:)
no one wanna face up with hard truths i say.
shrugs
lalalalala.
advice to all.
STAY SINGLE FER ETERNITY.
yay.:>

imma go tan tml.
:)
11-130 bakin session.
HAHAHAHA
den i wunt be so dam white anymore.:)


anyway.
to all ipod lovers who hate itunes.
and hate downldin stupid programs,
here BEN'S GUIDE TO TRIXXIN IPOD!

1st,
access you ipod in ie.
go to music under the hidden ipodcontrol folder,
see all the hidden folders.
den you'll get dam angst tryin to find tad specific song juz like mi.
cuz findin one song outta nearly 3 k is ridiculous.
so,
GO TO SEARCH in your windows explorer,
include all hidden files,
den let her rip!
you're instantly the owner of a normal ipod insteada a selfish and normal one.
GRRR.
hate itunes.
lookin fer one file to send.
from folder 00-49.
guess where it was?
folder 48.

!@$#$%$*$%%^

blasted heat.

hmm.
i've got a tune fer the song.
:)
mite be a lil pirated but waddaheck.:)
i tink it sounds really good.:)

one of my best so far if i may say so myself.:)
i wanna WOW.:)
i was checkin out the com ads.
and dell's got this really nice one tad's goin fer like 1.4 k online.
cant wait fer the A's to be over,
get a job,
get a com,
get my license,
get a level 60 n go get fit wit SRC n church soccer.:)
MAN!.:)

tad is the life as far as i can see.
plus next week if all goes well i can get to go momo wit josh.:)
YAY.
hmmm
was in the library this mornin study.
den on my break i read this.

plus i was tinkin about it durin test hours..

wad IS true love?

is it:
acceptance that the person does not have feelins fer you?
or:
stickin on n hope of winnin her over?

is it:
stickin through thick n thin?
or:
knowin wen to call it quits?

is it:
puttin the other's emotions first n lettin go?
or:
persistin till the end?

it all seems so simple at the start.
clear vision.
"i will love tis person"
but yet wen the problems arise,
its relly time to be able to answer these questions.
shrugs.
dunno pls.
it aint any of my problems.
juz wonderin.
wad do YOU pple tink.
tag your response or comment.

the papers have been interestin to say the least.
math was really amusing.
paper one encouraged mi like mad,
paper 2 discouraged me like mad.

chem-so far its only been paper 3.
im pretty encouraged so far.
if i dun screw up too badly,
im pretty sure i can pull off a pretty good result.

phy-mcq was madness,
paper 2 was madness 2.
my physics'smad alr.
needta mug smart fer it soon man.
bleah.

g.p's
the golden goose man
my supposed golden subject mite be screwed.
here's wad happened.

accordin to my G.P tutor,
to write a cohesive g.p essay,
i hadta come up wit an essay plan.
correct?
so tad's wad i did.
and den i wrote a WHOLE essay.
n reread it.
didnt flow nicely.
so i crumpled it up,
den wrote a new one.
time elasped at this point was bout 40 mins.
wrote to the 3rd para,
read it,
tot i really looked lke shat,
crumpled it up.
den i gave up,
wrote on a WHOLE new topic.
and finished it with about 2 mins to spare.
quite ridiculous.
im not expectin anythin spectacular from tad paper man.:@
and like my paper 2,
for once i tink i can get more den like 2 marks fer summary.
wad an irony.
fer one i do well fer tad section,
den now im screwin up my paper one.
GRRRR.
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@@:@:@:@

im titlin the song :waitin.
gonna record the song usin sum creative mp3 player n if it turns out well,
find a place to host it n link it to my blog so i can share it wit the world.
YAY.

here are the more refined lyrics tad fit in with the beat.

waitin

19 yrs have come to pass,
on this road tad is my last.
my heart it yearns fer you alone,
fer all my wrongs can i atone....

i've been waitin fer so long now,
i've been waitin to hear i do from you,
been waitin to hold you in my arms,
been waitin.........
im still waitin..

everynite before i close my eyes,
wish tad you were by my side,
n wen i wake up to the dawn,
your eyes will be my light...

i've beeen waitin fer so long now,
i've been waitin to hear i do from you,
been waitin to hold you in my arms,
been waitin..........

gal why cant you see,
tad you belong here with me,
in my arms,i'll keep you warm,
its here where you belong,
how long do you wanna,
wanna drag things out..
fer while you were thinkin...

i've been waitin fer so long now,
i've been waitin fer so long,
juz to hold in my arms gal,
juz to hear you say you do,
i've been waitin,waitin fer so long now..
i've been waitin,waitin fer you,
i've been waitin,waitin fer you gal,
i've been waitin fer so long..

and im still waitin...



that's it.
meanwhile
here's sumthin fer all cheap thrillers.

fysh'll love this one.:)
http://fungod.com/coppermine/displayimage.php?album=12&pos=13

another;
http://www.grab.com/games/view.php?game=207

things change.so do pple.

hmmm.
was talkin to an old fren recently.
and its really funny how time changes a person so uch.
esp those you've been away from for so long.
all your percieved connotations about this pple you tot you knew like the back of your hand suddenly change.
and suddenly the person's like so different.
look at the old maris crowd.
my nigga bro be quite a frequent clubber now.
n tad's sumthin i would've never expected of him.
but things be good.
we still can clcik really well.
heh.
hopin we'l be bunk mates in ns.
i really am.
miss chilling out wit him.
ad the rest.
tim,dudley,giant,kev li,kev kwok,ken yeo.
sighz.
they all seem like such a distant passin now.
sigh.

i dunno why.
but i really haf a bad impression of clubbers.
as in the really frequent ones.
like those if dun club or go to a party at least fortnightl will die tad kind.
i guess its sumthin to do with my upbringin la.
i really cant stand the thought of pple under the influence of alcohols and losin control of emselves.
i love clubbin as much as the next person.
prob more den the next person cuz i dun get many chances to go club.
but i really cant stand clubbers tad go one night,
blow a coupla hundred bucks in an effort to get high.
and aft tad wake up findin tad dey did sumthim stupid last nite.
i often ask gals who go club tis question "do you remember wad you did last nite?or is it all a blur?"
and more often den not,
the gal replies"no lehz..not really"
its no surprise considerin the amount of pure you've indulged in at the expense of guys.
and guys always go there wit fat wallets n come back wit wallets tad look like they've been passed thru the slim ten pill treatment wit the side effects still active.
i dun see the thrill in uyin 8-15 bucks shots wen you can buy a bottle of pure fer a bout 60-120 bucks,mix it to even more concentrated den you get in the club,
get yourself truly high instead of those half assed drinks tad you buy in an effort n cant even make it cuz its so diluted PLUS you "GOTTA" buy drinks fer your female frens.
shrugs
ask mi why i dun like goin to clubs with gals.
i really go to clubs to dance.
i dun buy more den a coupla of drinks.
n by coupla i mean i can count the no on my finger.
i dun see the point in losin so much of your conscious mind tad you cant even remember wad happened the nite before.
if you're gonna spend sum major dough,
you mite as well make sure you remember wad happened rite?
like if you see this fine gal n you dance wit her,
you're gonna wanna remember how she looked like n the way she danced insteada this blank spot and the knowledge tad "HEY.i danced wit a hot chick last nite" only.
sheesh.
ok.
im done.
pple change.
time really has this forgone effect.
im done.

19 yrs.

havin screwed my math paper 2 to a form beyond recognition,
i decided to be creative n write a short song.


(verse)
19 yrs have come to pass,
on this road tad is my last,
my heart yearns fer you alone.
all my wrongs,can i atone,

(chorus)
been waitin so long fer you now,
waitin to hear i do from you,
waitin to hold you in my arms....
waitin................
im still waitin....

(verse 2)
everyday before i close my eyes,
tink of you n visualise,
wishin you were here by my side,
you eyes will be my light..

(chorus)

(bridge)

gal why cant you see,
you belong to me,
in my arms,
i'll keep you warm,
how long do you wanna drag it on...
juz how long....cuz while you were tinkin...

(chorus)

lesson learnt.
if you cant do math paper,
fully utilize your time by writin aimless songs.
tad way.
at least you'll have sumthin to blog about later.
hurrhurr.
math paper was screwed,
my stats are screwed,
hopefull i'll still pass overall tho im highly doubtful.
chem paper 3 was pretty decent.
next up g.p.
im hopin to get my A grade back again.
at least the report sheet'll look better.
GAH.:@
hate studyin.

serene:heh.been a long time since we last talked.:)
heh.n its not like i got a choice.
whether i want to or not i gotta stick it thru man.its 3 yrs.:)
maybe thing's 'll be easier wen i get to uni.:)

its funny

its funny how life turns me upside down,
whether i'm wearin a smile or a frown,
with worries stacked inside of my head,
they pile up wit the fury of an undead.
juz wen i tink nuttin more can be worse,
i find there's still another verse,
another line delivered terse,
another burden laden upon an overworked back,
wonderin if tis'll be the straw tad breaks my neck.
stress piles up from an uphill source,
gravity pullin em down like molasses up to my jaw,
surprises pile up one by one,
wad exceptions?bar none.


.........nose slowly drops below the surface,
furiously kick to free up my face,
take a deep breath,hold it down,
pulled below till you can summon enuf strength to move up again.
gulp in another breath of air,
before it pulls you down again.....

vivid pictures painted in your mind,
yet not all that hard to define,
relate to or identify,
inevitable in singapore.

okay.
originlly things were flowin pretty well.
til ym stupid sista hadta start talkin to me n interupt my rhythm plus tryta cheer mi up.
so thus my "morbid" poem cant be completed.
at least to my satisfaction.
after like the half the 1st stanza everythin not nice alr.
all her fault.
bleahz.

life sucks.
i hate studyin.
i wanna quite school n play WOW fer a living.
YAY.

bleahz.
i wanna get the ipod photo.
i figure i shall write a letter in to ipod n see if i can trade in my ipod fer an ipod photo.
YAy.


sighz.

uncanny how sum things happen over n over again,
things'll prob end up the same way once again,
lesson tad shouldve been learnt been shelved up against the wall with the rest,
wad's more impt is a temporal alleviation of stress.
its happened more den once before,
this time wunt be any different.



i wanna watch a movie tad's been showin in the US during april but has only made it to our shores last week.
i wanna watch a movie tad is a remake of a 60's classic.
i wanna watch a funny movie.
wanna watch a movie with violence n sports.
wad do i wanna watch??


scroll down fer answer.








i wanna watch....LONGEST YARD!!!!
HOLLA HERE IF JOO WANNA WATCHETH

GAHAHAHAH.MATH?!?!!?

talent

"Love Song For No One"
Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jadedI hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking forI'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me


think i'll ever reach the stage where i can write such a nice song witout anyone in mind.
tad's talent man.
old songs.
gah.
got muz of my old com songs back in my ipod.*grinz*
listen to all my old schol songs.
yay.
but john mayer is THE man.
i guess the grammy means sumthin.
HAHAHAH
love song writen fer sum1 witout havin the person in mind.
it really is harder den it sounds.

hmmm.its been a long time

its been a long time..(long time)
since i left you..(left you)
witout a domain to step to..(step to)


its a wonder why tad lil riff from the late aliyah sticks in my mind even after yrs.
it really has a funky beat.

time passes quickly like the changin of tides,
time passes like the slow movin molasses from height,
each from one's own perspective,
which one works fer you?

God's fair in all he puts us thru,
lil comprehension on our part of wad we see n do,
yet we seem to willingly acknowledge the presence of the Holy one,
in respect of the divine power held in his arms.

by faith we're lil soldiers marchin forth,
by faith we believe in the best till its lost.
lil wonder thru the perils we face,
we rarely stick on unless forced.

here i sit on a wooden stool,
in the heat wit juz consumed food.
i begin to tink n wonder wad e hell im doin here,
forsaken job of studyin juz followin the peers.

i dun like to study,
well tad's a fact,
e only person tad wants to,
muz definitely be mad.

i wanna play soccer,hockey,basketball,
i wanna run away,far far away from it all,
i wanna take flight,to soar into the skies above,
to seek solace,in the One above.

to find nirvana,
n this forsaken plane,
existence seems meaningless,
yet so filled wit pain.

how can sumthin tad matters so little,
yet cause so much harm?
how can sumthin so be insignificant,
yet influence everythin tad you become.

now i shall end wit qoutes form the book of truth,
"everythin is meaninless",
the truth is said,
we believe in the eternal,
but wad to say if eternal exists.

shrugs.

mindless rambling.
boo.
sick of havin to study.
:@

lallaa.its all over.

hmmm.
wel.
the pics are still here if ya'll bother to go take a look.
hmmm.
but now things are finally over.
the funny thing is.
im still gettin ignormous headaches.
which basically piss mi of.
cuz i dun see why im still stressed.
i shouldnt be as stressed as i was like juz before teacher's day but i still am.
i guess the prelims really is this bigass subconscious load on my mind.
sighz.
gotta study study study.
:@
gettin really frustrated.
if you know howta study,
why the hell are you still failin?
im like in tad stasis zone now..grrr.


gah.
angst.
hmmm.
n like after the performance.
lke everyone's sayin:"ben...popular alr la...famous now..."
all tad kinda stuff.
please.
t aint true.
before n aft its still the same.
nuttin's changed.
im still the same crazy person rite?
geee.
n no.
nobody's asked fer my no. and i aint got any ew admirers.
so thus.
relax ppls.
go study fer math test kkz?
lalalala.
sighz.
hate math.:@