39.1 fever.:) teehee.

well.
things have been interestin lately to say the least.
i've had lotsa things tad triggered me tinkin tis past few days.

hmmm.
niwaez.
fever 1st.
:)
im quite amazed by it.
cuz basically,
i went to work at 10 in the mornin feelin fine,
but started feelin giddier n giddier thruout the day.
den finally i knew i was gonna screw up soon,
so i asked the boss to release me.
den while on the way home.
i kinda got a fever spike.
tad went all the way to 39.1
which freaked me out like hell as did my family.
and yea
thank God it broke thru the nite.
im now back to my 37. sumthin.
but now its the stomach flu which is killin me.
basically,
the diagnosis was tad i have a flu,a stomach flu,a chest infection yea.
makes you wonder how come i can still function.
but as i always say.
everythin's psychological.
which is why wen i get taken down by a bug,
i really get taken down.
i never dramatise tis kinda stuff.
cuz im always scared tad once its real and i keep actin it up,
i'll get owned if i dun get help in time.
hurrhurr.

niweaz.
i signed up fer singapore idol.
HAHAHAHA
i intend to go see if i can actually make it.
as sum1 close once said to me,
it seems like im always in a contant race to prove sumthin to the world.
in this is another challenge i guess.
its true of me i know.
so long as i see sumthin tad i feel a need to excel in,
i kinda blow thru everythin includin myself till i've proven tad i am the best
if not,at elast capable of hangin in there till i can mix wit the top boys.
:)
shrugs.
as sum well know i guess.
the most recent bein my hockey endeavours i guess.
God knows how many i alienated during my mad rush.

sighz.
loadsa things happenin.
i realised tad in life i kinda treat myself as the star of my own drama serial.
i dunno if ya pple ever find it tad way,
where you kinda like victimise yaself in everyway possible,
wantin to be the muz liked thing/person the world has ever known.
its kinda juz happens in my case.
i know of a few others too.
a common symptom is the ability to say the wisest things n at the same time do the silliest things.
i have tis motto tad "if it aint fun,why bother doin it"
basically,
im in it fer the rush.
a fren berated me once,
sayin i was bein foolish n tad certain things NEVER will be composited entirely of fun,
and if the game or event be undertaken,
there will be other things involved,
be it monetary losses,
emotional losses,
spiritual losses,
and all.
you get the pic.
n true as it is,
its never tad easy to let it all go is it?
sumhow in life tragedy n memory of how one overcomes is all you haf to keep yaself goin?
i guess i mite be doin a same thing here,
but i hope sum pple out there would actually realise tad its happenin to em too.:)

hmmm.
i shalll stop here cuz i dun wanna go into details of wad's eatin me.
suffice to say tad frustration's beginnin to come about.
im a demandin person i know.
i demand the best outta myself if i deem it worthy.
and at the same time,
the best outta the pple tad take interest in wadever they deem worthy.

go figure.:)
i love my cryptic shat.