at the same xroads again.

its almost ironic tad one year down the road,
i find myself at the junction, about to break a promise to myself i made one year back.
funny how the situations are quite similiar despite the vast differences.
and im guessing since the only constant is oneself,
the most obvious answer should be that it lies with me.
and as i was on the insane bus ride home (which i shall bitch about later,) i was was listenin to my reborn ipod cuza my all new UM2s which is an extravagence im only just beginning to regret, 2 songs struck me really really hard.

one was dusk and summer by dashboard confessional,which dam near made my break my promise, and the other was a song by j-holiday.

Dusk and Summer
She smiled in a big way
The way a girl like that smiles
When the world is hers
And she held your eyes

Out in the breeze way
Down by the shore
In the lazy summer.

And she pulled you in
And she bit your lip
And she made you hers.

And she looked
Deep into you as you lay together
Quiet in the grasp
Of dusk and summer.

But you’ve already lost(x3)

When you only had
Barely enough
To hang on.

And she combed your hair
And she kissed your teeth
And she made you better
Than you’d been before

And she told you bad things
You wished you could change
In the lazy summer

And she told you laughing
Down to her core
So she would not cry
As she lay in your lap

And she said
Nobody here can live forever
Quiet in the grasp
Of dusk and summer.

But you’ve already lost (x3)

When you only had
Barely enough
To hang on

And she said no one is alone
The way you are alone
And you held her looser
than you would have
If you ever could have known

Some things tie a life together
In slender threads of things to treasure.
Days like that should last and last and last.

But you’ve already lost (x3)

When you only had
Barely enough
Of her to hang on.

[hang on (x3)]


now taking a few lines outta context and listenin to them sung in tad mournful tone sure as hell gets one emo pls.
but yea.

certain lines really juz stood up and poked me real hard and left me wondering what exactly is the matter with me. i mean problems dun follow you arnd, so if they do, you're the freakin problem ain-it?it aint exactly rocket science.

that being said.
ive got a plan for the next 3 months out,
and if all works well,
hopefully it'll hold a new sunrise for me.

and now for bus driver bitching.

now i dun really know if bus drivers get paid by the hour/trip/ but i freakin suspect they get paid inversely proportionate to the time they take to reach you to your destination and proportionate to the freakin no of passengers they can hold.

imagine going at about 70-80 on a expressway being crammed up like sardines in a can, being next to a really really really old auntie tad no one had the decency to gif up a seat for and who kept gettin tossed around like a twig in a cyclone and kept clingin on to you like her lifeline from a ship in a storm on ONE FREAKIN SIDE, and on the other you have a Fat-Joe sized black dude with cashflow problems he cant afford deo and apparently has no center of gravity so much so that everytime the bus stops, he literally swings like 110 kg of his weight my way. i mean yea im pretty fat myself, but no living person is gonna be able to support 110 kg bumping into him with only a handgrip to secure himself you capesh? and summore lookin aft the auntie on the other side prayin she doest get squashed by the combined weight of both of us should i lose my balance. /ANGST.

coupled with a really mood + emo + long day, im surprised i made it off the bus without screaming expletives.

but then again, ive never really been the instant explosion kinda person rite.

it takes a certain kinda special frustration and exasperation before i lose me cool i guess.

/shrugs.

not tad its a pretty thing to see.

but anyway.

screw bus drivers all you foos should be like em KFC chefs and go back for a refresher course in driving.