absolution.

the past few weeks have been a rush.
work has been a nonstop thing,weekends have been pleasant albeit tiring,but worth every bit of weariness juz to be with her.
and now,
finally,aft something like 10 days worth of non stop rushing in the office,
i can finally take a breather and slow down for a bit.
every single one of my stupid "responsiblities" have been fully & satisifactorily accounted for.
and i realised something from the past days of working,is that tho i hate doing work,
if imma sign my name off on it,it will have "standard".

i found myself voluntarily stayin back late aft work once just so i could make one of my slides "perfect" at least to me.
and i was dam surprised as most of the time.
the instant 530 ticks,
im outta the office like diarrhoea with a vengeance.
lil changes you find yourself going thru in NS.
amusing to be honest,but not entirely unwelcome.

WELL,thats the work aspect of my life i guess.
been a bitchy week,but all sheit comes to pass,so HAY.i survived./cheer.
thanks to weekend binges and the lil ray of sunshine that ive only recently found(/hug).
every man needs something to look forward to.
=)

i feel like im in a midst of a rather important change of priorities in my life once again.
and i dun particularly like it.
im rather resistant to change(as everyone who knows me well can testify),so once again,im defaulting to my usual way of dealing with it: sit back,observe and decide.

i read a rather interesting article over the weekend,
cant remember if it was str8s times or TNP(both tabloids with NITbits),but it had a phase that strangly enuf,was a variation of something that's been foremost in my life as of recent times.
the phase in my own words,

"if life is about discovery,the biggest discovery you can make,is yourself"

now mull upon it for a minute and you mite see wad im getting at.=)
been melacholy the past few nights,just thinkin about stuff and decisions tad ive made before,
and how i myself am rather of a double standard and in that sense,been feeling all round rather crappy.

strange how we always like to think we know it all,we are prepared,and how certain things in life constantly uproot this belief and sweep you off your feet into a maelstorm of torrential emotions and thoughts.and you always say you'll know better,but find yourself fallin prey to it again,diff angle,diff circumstance,diff consequence,but from the same cause.

lol please.
discovery of oneself.
strange to be the one thing you wanna know about but yet cant?=)
but then again,
is it truly possible to know oneself?
considering that when it comes to the root of it,
we're all monstarz(i juz love this dam word.monster/star!!!!) of change.
so if we're a constantly changing thing,then wadever you think you've learned mite not be true the very next instant.
funky eh?
/shrugs.
thats why i hate change i guess.
i always smile within when i meet up with frens and they same "still teh same old ben/dou nian mei jian hai she lao yang de *********"or sum variation.=)
in this sense,
i do know myself a lil bit i guess.=)
till sumthin comes along and sweeps me off my feet.

but then again.
change does not neccesate that its sumthin bad.
i once lol-ed at this expression when we were discussing it over booze but here it is.

to be said in the most pompous preacher voice for entertainment value.

"CHANGE MY BROTHERS!!! IS LIKE DOING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME.ITS DAM UNCOMFORTABLE GOING INTO IT,IT MAY EVEN HURT!!!BUT ONCE YOU'RE IN IT,ITS PRETTY COMFORTABLE, AND PRETTY DAM SHIOK,THAT YOU KEEP WANTING TO GO IN AND OUTTA IT!!!!"

lol.llololololoolloo.
sheit i cant remember who was it alr.
lol READIN IT NOW I STILL LAFF.
but yea.
pretty much sums it up.
its amazing how nonsense you can think of when you start gettin mel.
/chuckle.

/<3 booze inspired sermons.

i wish there was more i could say to properly express some of what im feeling within,
but sometimes words juz seem inadequate.
juz thinkin makes it slightly better i guess.
life is made of many lil things that make you smile exteriorly,
and fewer,more precious things that make you smile within.
while the smiles on the outside radiate happiness,
the ones within don't always do so,
the smiles on the outside mite be fake,
but not the ones on the inside.
wad makes the smile inside?

a contented,sated heart.=)


niwae in tune with my previous coupla posts,
1337 songz for youz!!!

this songs is by the "hey there delilah" dudes,

called : Let Me Take You There.=)

I know a place that we can go to
A place where no one knows you
They won't know who we are
I know a place that we can run to
And do those things we want to
They won't know who we are

Let me take you there
I wanna take you there

I know a place that we forgot
A place where we won't get caught in
They won't know who we are (they won't know, won't know)
I know a place where we can hide out
And turn our hearts inside out
They won't know who we are

Let me take you there
I wanna take you there
Let me take you there
Take you there
Take you there

I know a place we'll be together
And stay this young forever
They won't know who we are
Let me take you there
I wanna take you there
Let me take you there
Take you there
Take you there


We can get away
To a better place if you let me take you there
We can go there now cause every second counts
Girl just let me take you there
Take you there

____________________
some awesome "smoke" girl lyrics rite there mind you.
but as i always tell my girl,
just cuz its cliche,doesnt make the emotions/meaning behind the words any less real.=)

that stated,now turn to your loved one,look him/her in the eye and go:baby,can we go there?

and enjoy the chuckle it'll bring you 2.=)
shall end here alr.
needta go prepare to run and lose a lil weight.
fei de no more pls.
not if i can help it.=)

enjoy the song,
msn me if you want it.=)